Okay... So, a while back, I asked a question about porn and my boyfriend... and I was starting to get over the fact that he watches it until yesterday I found on his computer xpeeps.com, which I know is a site for people to post their own pictures and such. And one of the pages he had visited was a girl he knows that lives about 40 miles away. I am starting to freak out.

We have been talking about getting married soon and I find this on his computer. I know he would never cheat on me and all his best guy friends have told me that as well... how sweet he talks about me when I am not around.

But, he was visiting the xpeeps page of a girl he said he was just friends with... but xpeeps is a website devoted to nude photos.

What am I suppose to think now? ;aslkdfjasdlfj I'm freaking out.

I think you should talk to him directly and clear things up. Since you have proof you will know if he is lying about not visiting such sites. Tell him how distressed you feel because of this. If he is sensitive towards your feelings I am sure he will apologize and will not resort to such means of pleasure again. Its only after talking to him that you will find a way out.
Just watching porn is not cheating on ur partner in itself but if he is seeing girls he knows; then it's a matter of concern.

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Originally Posted by yas_aks

just watching porn is not cheating on ur partner in itself but if he is seeing girls he knows; then its a matter of concern.

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That is exactly what I am thinking.

I am really stressed. And... I can't see him until next weekend, and this isn't the thing to do over the phone...
a;alskdjf.

Don't even think of bringing this topic up over the phone. Wait for him to return. Just relax till then and try to keep yourself busy. Do not end up getting stress-riden about it the whole week. And even when you talk to him be firm and calm instead of being outrageously offensive. All the best. I will pray that it turns out to be nothing

I guess from a male point of view, I would hate to be caught with such unexplainable activity such as looking at nude women. Especially a nude woman that I know or have met before. Could there be an acceptable or comforting response to the woman you are currently involved with? I have a fairly productive imagination and still can not for the life of me acquire a suitable story, excuse, lie, or reason that any woman I have had relations with would completely approve. I would be wrong no matter how I presented the existence of such web site. On the other hand, that type of web viewing is more common than I care to admit. If he was just clicking to be clicking and stumbled across her pic, I could very easily see him keeping access to the page to show his buddies from the stand point of, " See I told you it was her!" Its disturbing to accept that more and more seemingly unoriented porn or sex web links can be found with out even trying. My preferred radio station, is basically new rock, has adult web sites as paid sponsors on the main page. Anyhow if I was boobie surfing I wouldn't leave any of there visually appealing mammary supports draped over my monitor at all. For lack of better words, that's a dudes no win or explainable situation no matter how it transpired in the first place. If he is confronted, I am certain he will ask himself over and over, why the heck did I do that! Lol poor guy. Let us know what he says I am dying to hear this.

This is definitely getting into an area that can go either way. I for one happen to have a friend who has a website and it has a lot of photos of that sort.

There is however no hanky panky going on in my case. But I am fully aware that is not the situation in every case.

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Originally Posted by lilvegangrl

Okay... So, a while back, I asked a question about porn and my boyfriend... and I was starting to get over the fact that he watches it until yesterday I found on his computer xpeeps.com, which i know is a site for people to post their own pictures and such. And one of the pages he had visited was a girl he knows that lives about 40 miles away. I am starting to freak out.

We have been talking about getting married soon and I find this on his computer. I know he would never cheat on me and all his best guy friends have told me that as well... how sweet he talks about me when i am not around.

But, he was visiting the xpeeps page of a girl he said he was just friends with... but xpeeps is a website devoted to nude photos.

What am i suppose to think now? ;aslkdfjasdlfj im freaking out.

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How about this... a friend of mine married a guy even after she found tranny porn on his computer. I told her she was crazy for marrying him. Look on the brigh side - at least he is looking at girls??

If you have a guy that truly never watches porn, you have a very stodgy and unimaginative person most likely and you can expect dull repetitive sex. Then 10 years down the road you bellyache about how bad your sex life is.

Trust me, I've known women like that, and I've known women who had husbands like that. I made sure that I nor my wife (now not then) ever had to suffer that.

Since it is not really "porn" by the strict term, because porn will destroy a marriage and is very adictive.

I had a problem with this at Georiga Tech about 6 years ago. They had a ART display and it was all nudes, to me it broke a dozen or so of the city and state laws on PORN, but the official ruling was it was ART and as such protected and could be displayed. We did get them to put security at the door ( most of the time) and a sign you had to be 18 to enter. It was a public showing with people from the community.

I've got to disagree with you on this. Like most things, in moderation it can be an enhancement to a marriage. Get two people together who think there is only one way to have sex you end up with 52% of the population that's unhappy with their marital sex lives.

Then as a result you have a greater portion of those having extra marital affairs because of the repetitive boredom of more of the same old stuff.

You can have variety and maintain a faithful monogamous relationship. And in moderation, shared porn will let a couple explore more things they can do together they might share a common interest in. But like Wine, a little is good, a lot isn't.

There is nothing more boring than missionary day after day, month after month, year after year. Deal with that and there is no wonder there is so much unhappiness in so many marriages.

I'm not a fan or supporter of open marriages, swinging or that type of thing however just to be clear.

My suggestion is to watch the porn with him and maybe he won't do it so much without you, but I would tell him that you read online men that look at tranny porn are bi-curious and ask him if he would share his thoughts on that.
Even if you don't like it - watch 'normal porn' with him. Maybe that will work and you guys can do it together.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

I've got to disagree with you on this. Like most things, in moderation it can be an enhancement to a marriage. Get two people together who think there is only one way to have sex you end up with 52% of the population thats unhappy with their marital sex lives.

Then as a result you have a greater portion of those having extra marital affairs because of the repetitive boredom of more of the same old stuff.

You can have variety and maintain a faithful monogamous relationship. And in moderation, shared porn will let a couple explore more things they can do together they might share a common interest in. But like Wine, a little is good, a lot isn't.

There is nothing more boring than missionary day after day, month after month, year after year. Deal with that and there is no wonder there is so much unhappiness in so many marriages.

I'm not a fan or supporter of open marriages, swinging or that type of thing however just to be clear.

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Well, my boyfriend and I are both very experienced lovers. We have a great sex life... and every time, it gets more amazing.

I am just worried because this girl he knows in real life. It just weirds me out I guess.

I wouldn't dwell on it too much Lilvegan, she doesn't have what you have!
DocWill

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Originally Posted by lilvegangrl

Well, my bf and i are both very experienced lovers. We have a great sex life.... and every time, it gets more amazing.

I am just worried because this girl he knows in real life. It just weirds me out i guess.

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As in my case I know this one as well, in real life. However I have avoided her and she has avoided me so its not like we have anything that's ongoing. If he has frequent contact with her that may be something different.

My boyfriend did the same thing. He found out this s**t from high school turned into a skank and started doing porno so he had to look at her. That was the end to that relationship. All men need to grow up and stop watching porn. Its not nessasary in any way

I don't know any guy who heard that some girl he knew had nude pictures on the internet that wouldn't go look for them, anyone that doesn't believe me tell a boyfriend that there are nude photos of a girl friend of yours on a site and look at the internet cache the next day he will go look even if he isn't interested in the girl at all. Now you have already said you know he won't cheat on you and they were public photos not photos that she sent him personally so even though he knows her I think you need to just put this one to something guys do.

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Originally Posted by lilvegangrl

Well, my bf and i are both very experienced lovers. We have a great sex life.... and every time, it gets more amazing.

I am just worried because this girl he knows in real life. It just weirds me out i guess.

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I can understand your aprehension on that. Trick is does he or does he not have anything to do with her. If there really is nothing going on then it's a non-issue. If there is then there is a problem.

No way we can guess which is really the case.

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Originally Posted by honey2700

My bf did the same thing. He found out this s**t from high school turned into a skank and started doing porno so he had to look at her. That was the end to that relationship. All men need to grow up and stop watching porn. Its not nessasary in any way

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Not a healthy attitude to have. Perhaps I can expand on that by stating you would HAVE to do whatever your BF says after all not doing so its really unessessary and you should grow up and do what he wants... after all that's what a good wife does.

That's just an example... not how I think. But do you see my point? How is your demand any different than what his might be?

If you want a healthy relationship... you have to keep an open mind and not try to demand others conform to your particular wants, that's controlling behavior and will eventually put off most guys. And the same can be said for guys towards women.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

I've got to disagree with you on this. Like most things, in moderation it can be an enhancement to a marriage. Get two people together who think there is only one way to have sex you end up with 52% of the population thats unhappy with their marital sex lives.

Then as a result you have a greater portion of those having extra marital affairs because of the repetitive boredom of more of the same old stuff.

You can have variety and maintain a faithful monogamous relationship. And in moderation, shared porn will let a couple explore more things they can do together they might share a common interest in. But like Wine, a little is good, a lot isn't.

There is nothing more boring than missionary day after day, month after month, year after year. Deal with that and there is no wonder there is so much unhappiness in so many marriages.

I'm not a fan or supporter of open marriages, swinging or that type of thing however just to be clear.

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Just because a couple doesn't watch porn doesn't automatically mean they have boring repetitive sex. Me and my boyfriend have been together for years and we don't watch porn and have AWESOME sex. We practice some tantra and it is NEVER boring... EVER...

Couples were enjoying sex long before porn, so you don't need it to have a healthy sex life. That is the lie the industry sells people so they don't feel so seedy watching it. To try and make people think they need it.
Young lady, confront your fiancé about this. You don't want to go into a marriage with this hanging. If you have a problem with porn, let him know so that he can either stop doing it or you can decide if you want to deal with it.