I just gave birth to a beautiful boy and the bio father did not sign the birth certificate. I love my son with all my heart but I know the father and I are not able to support him. I talked to the bio father about putting him up for adoption, at first the bio father was up for it but now he want to give custody to his mom (which he lives with). I have met the adoption parents and I really like them. The adoption will even be open. I prefer the baby going to the adoption parents then the bio father because of his life style. I just don't know what to do. Help!

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Can I ask why you feel you need to relinquish your son?

Knowing a little more about your circumstances, and you're boyfriend's, would help us give you better answers.

I would like to say, though, that people can change for the better when they become parents. Again, it's hard to answer properly without knowing more... what you mean by "lifestyle," for instance... if your boyfriend is an abusive hardcore drug addict, then of course you don't want him raising a child. If it's just a matter of him being youthful, "not responsible," and so on... well, parenthood often proves a better motivator for cleaning up one's life than most people realize.

I don't mean to pry, but it would really help to know more. I'm also wondering if anyone has told you about the after-effects of adoption that many relinquishing moms endure?

Please don't make any decisions, or sign anything, in this state of limbo with the baby's father, though. Please.

Nicole