This is my story about Cutting.I want people to know what it was like.
You ask what's cutting? Cutting is when a person uses a sharp object (razor) to cutt their arms or wrists or any other part of their body. Because of depression, self hate or anything else that would drive someone to hurt themselves. It's very much an addiction. Those who cutt feel better when cutting. As if they are releasing the anger they have and venting it on themselves. We know this is unhealthy and very dangerous, but they do not. Those who cutt and are honestly cutting, need to get help. They could very well kill themselves in this manner. It's nothing to take lightly that's for sure.
As for myself, when I was in school I was made fun of everyday for who I liked for who I was. My parent's weren't there for me and my father was somewhat abusive to me. I felt I had no one, all the friends I thought I had wheren't true friends so I was alone. I had no one to talk to and no where to go. The boyfriend's I had weren't there for me either. Some life I had. I wa always told I'd never amount to anything and that I was garbage. Always made fun of by people who knew nothing about me. Cutting made me feel like I was doing to myself what I deserved. Because clearly I was hated. It made me feel somewhat better too, but it was a false feeling. I wanted to hurt myself. Why not every one else did. I've never cutt my wrists, only my arms. Never enough to get stitches either. I did it just enough to burn. One day someone saw the cutts at school and I was forced to talk to the guidance office. I'd always use the lie that my cat scratched me. When I met my fiancé, I was cutting. He did drugs- not because he was hoocked, but just because he liked it. He and I both agreed that the drugs and cutting needed to go. This was hard for me, and I think I may have cutt once or twice after the pact. But mainly I didn't want to lose him due to myself mutalation. So we made a pact to never do those things again. We haven't. It's been about 3 years. There has been time's I have thought about cutting, but I know what would happen if I did. I get depressed nearly everyday and we have arguments sometime's. But I'm alive and I guess I'm lucky that didn't get worse. I'm lucky to be here, I could have done far worse to myself. I still hate myself, I still don't like to be around people I don't know-fear they'll poke fun at me. I still hate everyone I went to school with, I still haven't done anything with my life why should I it's not like I'm any good at anything. Or like I'll succeed. --For those whose comment's are to try to change my opinion about myself, save those comment's because it's all been heard. I don't listen to it anymore. It's not going to help. This is for those who have cutted, or those who don't understand it or just for anyone to listen.