You would think after 8 months I would be OK... but my emotions are still all over the place. I wake up all happy because I have plans all weekend and I won't be at home in my head thinking. Then I get to work and an hour later I'm thinking of her and missing her so damn bad that I get that deep pain in my chest.
Sometimes I wish she had cheated on me, treated me bad, kicked my dog or something like that. But she was a good person... always honest and truthful. She always tried to help me be a better person. She put up with my inexperience in relationships and countless times I stumbled and hurt her. I always tried hard to grow and learn. To be the best person I could... not just for me but for us. She always said that I tried harder than any one she knows. I always told her she was worth it... and she is.
We are working on taking it slow right now. Trying to build a great friendship. Giving each other space to grow. As individuals we are not whole. Its hard day in and day out to work on me as she is always there in the back of my head smiling that pretty smile and her beautiful hair falling down her shoulders. Her perfume on my pillow puts me to sleep at night with dreams of her. If you guys couldn't tell... I am in love with this woman completely. 7 years living together.
I have to be strong... for us but more importantly for me.