Hi
Im absolutely confused. I know one guy and he have been flirting with me for about a year now. We are in same university and we have same friends. We had a thing once, but nothing happened we were just kissing. I liked him, but I didn't want to have just sex, I wanted a normal relationship, because I never was for one night stands. I have realised that we were into different kind of relationships and let him go. I even fall madly in love with other guy, but we split now.

Ironically I have started haniging out with all friends of that first guy and they all really like me and really want to find a girl for their best friend... which they think could be me... but we all know the only way we can be together if we will just have sex, but nothing more. I have kissed him tonight and he said he wanted me, my respond was "you are not going to get sex from me". He said it before to me that he is bad guy for me and that he thinks I should walk away...

Do you think it possiable to change someone? And do you think he likes me or just trying nicely get me into bed... I think I should forget him and never be seriouse about him, do you think that is wright? I don't think I could ever make him relationship;( and I don't want to get attached, because I have just been in relationships and it didn't end nice... I think I could do so much better!:)

I think you are right with your insticts -- do what is right for you and makes you feel comfortable. You have laid it out for him and he has responded that you should walk away. You are better off with someone who respects you and your wishes. Yes, I think you could do soooo much better too.

Thank you, it really help me to know that what I'm doing is right. I think I am really confused after I have split up with my ex and I still madly in love with him... I have been dating a nice guy, but I know in my heart I still love my ex. I think last night when I was kissing that " want just sex guy" I have been really confused. I really like my boyfriend who Im with now and I don't want to heart him or anything. I just a bit confused after losing my ex and now I can't open my feelings like I used to do. My ex knew that I loved him and how much he meant to me... but he didn't respond to it... he said he was not ready for a relationship, he broke my heart and now I just can't trust guys, Im scared to get heart again. I knew nothing will ever happened between me and that guy, because I never do one night stands and I will never cheat... though I did kiss him and feel really bad now, but I know there is nothing emotional there and I never take him serious.

I think its all problem of my ex and it makes me confused and makes me do things like never would do. I want to move on, but in my head I keep coming back to it. I feel so bad, because I know my boyfriend a nice guy and he truly love me and I can't give my full respond, I get scared and I still love my ex... My life is in a mess... :confused:

Can someone help me: give me some tips how to move on and forget your ex? Please I really need your help

I still in love with my ex and I don't know how to forget him. Everything reminds me about him and I can't stop thinking of the times we were together. I have dated him only for a month, but it feels like it was 10 years...

After he broke up with me, I thought like world were crashing on me... I could not eat or sleep... or doing anything at all, I wanted to die... I wanted to erased all memories, but unfortunately I can't do it. Its 4 months past, Im in relationship with someone else, but I can't forget my ex... I just cant! He is leaving uni in about 3 weeks time and I just can't wait till that happened, because I know then I won't be able to see him and then it may help me to move on with my life. At the moment there are too many people and things which are connected to him and they bring all memories back to me. I just can't believe that our love could finish and he never felt anything... I cant... I still have visions... I see his name everywhere... I listen to music he likes and I don't do t on purpose it just happened. He knows I love him... Sometimes I can say hi to him and sometimes I just want to run( which isn't good idea, I know), but I can't be normal around him... I feel over happy or over emotional... I don't even know what is right to do!! I still want him back... but I know its not going to happened. Now I don't think I will be able to love someone like I loved him though... I just don't want to get hurt again:(

Please can someone tell me what to do..

Frist let me say that your instincts are right he wants you only for sex.

Now, I wonder, you were kissing him and you have a boyfriend? :eek:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amily

last night when I was kissing that " want just sex guy" I really like my boyfriend who Im with now and I dont want to heart him or anything.

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Trust me, if your boyfriend finds out you were kissing the "want just sex guy" he will be hurt. Don't you consider what you did cheating?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amily

I will never cheat........though I did kiss him

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Hun, I think you did cheat. At least that is cheating in the minds of many.

It may be time for you to step back and reevaluate what you want out of the "want just sex guy" and what you want out of your current boyfriend. It may also be time for you to think what you consider cheating.

I have spoke with loads of my friends and they say it happeneds and I should not worry about it. I know he won't find out because he doesn't even know this people and I did it, just to prove that guy that every girl can play his game... I think he is confused now.

I like my boyfrind and it was cheating. I think of it as not really good expirience and I won't do it again. I can't call it cheating from inother point because Im still in ove with my ex boyfrind and this is cheating because it inside of me. I try get over it and its really hard. If you think my life is complicated then... I would say its more then just that:) It's a good thing I look at everything with a big smile on my face hehe but I want to be out of it and I want to be happy. I don't want to hurt anyone and I want them to be happy. I just in a mess. I really love my ex and now I treat every guy differently and can't trust them...

How funny is that: in the morning I have been sending text to my boyfriend and saying I missing him which I do... then got to uni and saw my ex... for some strange reasons I were bumping into him all day today and we had a friendly chat as well, which I hope will help me to get over him, but it didn't... and finally I have seen my friend today who is best friend of that " just want sex guy" and he said that jack been talking about our kiss and he really like it... my Lord I need to run away from all of that!! It a such mess!! Totall mess!! Help me!! I know its all my ex... I know I never used to have so many guys on my mind... never... and I never was a player, but I feel like one now:( help me!!

Stop worrying about what everyone else wants or expects. Find out what you want. It doesn't sound like you took the time to get over your Ex before jumping into another relationship. And now you kissed another guy? You keep compounding your problems and people are going to get hurt.

First... drop the one guy you kissed. Don't play games with someones heart.

Second... No contact with the EX. It is a done deal. Talking to him is not going to do anything but bring up old feelings. And since there is no chance of you guys getting back together....why would you put yourself through the emotional trauma.

Third... Work on you as a person. Get your head on straight. Take time to do what you want and do what makes you happy.

Fourth... if this current boyfriend is someone you care about...don't sabotage it. Work on trust. Cultivate it. But take it slow. You too are on a journey and need to heal your heart.

I think talking to my ex helping me, because after today I have realised he has his own life and plans and Im not part of it. I don't even think about getting with "just want sex guy", no way there;)

I care about my boyfriend, but he seems really distant with me. We live in a different towns and I see him once a week. He is very busy at work and I don't get a lot of texts, which is really sad. Also I want him to be more open with me and tell me more about his life, which he doesnt;( I would love us to be open... but I feel like we are distant all the time. Sometimes he would not kiss me in front other people and I know people are different, but it makes me wonder why can't he do it... I don't know...

Everyone is different. Some people are not comfortable with PDA (Public displays of affection) They don't think it is appropriate. Look at the little things he does. Holding hands... putting his arm around you... opening doors... stuff like that.

Next... give it time. You have expectations. No one can ever meet your expectations. How can they... they don't know about them. That just sets you up for disappointment. Give him time to open up. He could have had a very ruff past and he may still be dealing with it. He may just not want to bring it up because it is painful. The point is that you don't know so try not to assume it is something to do with you.

Instead focus on you and being happy. Keep the time you are together fun and enjoyable.

If you guys only dated a month that's not a very long time. When I started dating (my now ex) It took me probably 3 months to say I love you. I can probably speak for most guys they don't get emotionly attached in the beginning but when they break up with us we cry like babies when we were in it for the long haul. So I can almost guarantee thae he is not coming back. Just give it more time and concentrate on your new boyfriend.

Thank you;) I will do:) I guess because of my ex I still can't open up to him fully and sometimes I want to tell me how I feel, but I'm scared... I don't want to say I love him, when I don't meant it... I just feel its totally wrong to do it...

I guess its true...
He said he liked me and he wasn't ready for anything seriouse... he had his plans, I wasn't one of them...

I have seen him today and we had a friendly chat about plans. Every time I see him he is always very friendly with me and keep a huge smile on his face. When we split up he wanted to be my friend and try to talk to me whenever he saw me, I didn't like it, because it was and still hard for me. I smile, but inside I have a fire and I want it to get away... but I can't help it. One minute Im strong, next Im really week... help me... I don't think he likes me anymore, but I think he might know that I still love him...

I think he likes you only as a friend. But again he never had the emotional connection with you. And in his mind he probably doesn't no you were in love with him.

I guess its true, but he was the one who was looking into our fitture, not me... he invited me to meet all his family, when I knew him only a 2 weeks and we spend new year together... I could not understand wh would he do that... he was acting as though he wanted it as much as I did... I don't know I guess its never going to be revial what was he thinking, because its in his head and I can't read his mind and I should not... I need to move on with my life... how can I stop myself for wanting talk about him, listen to his music and just wanting him back? I can't do it for some reason...

Will power and time. It's been over 4 months since my ex dumped me and with certin people I still talk about her. You keep talking about him because you are unwilling to let go him. And the same with the music. Once you let go of him you won't talk about him as much and you can listen to the music with no problem. But I still are like you missing her.

Time is the biggest healer. In life you meet people, learn from them, cherish the memories and just keep moving. If you stand still, you get stuck as far as your personal growth is concerned. Don't do this to yourself. Your emotions should not control you... u should be controlling emotions to feel happy about life. You're not dead yet right, so why behave like one? You're dying over someone who's living life but your life has come to a halt... is that what you want out of it? Think about it and echo these words aloud... u'll be fine.

Thank's a lot it does help all these words from you guys:) Im really pleased to talk to you all and I feel so much easier after it as well:) I know I have to le it go and I will soon, I think its because we in same uni as well, but he is leaving in 2 weeks time, so I know then I will totally forget him... there won't be anyone to remind me about him because all his friends will be finishing uni as well... Ohhh guys I can't wait till it will happened... I just can't wait!! In my mind I know I need to move on and I will be happy with my boyfriend and future have loads of good things in store for me, but my heart keeps pumping like mad each time I see him so I guess when he will go away my life will be so much easier!! :) Thank you very much again:) It make me think that Im not the only one in this world and I can get a help just like that talking to strangers:) thank you again:)