I know the answer to my question. I was married for 15 years my husband cheated every chance he got and it was ugly and very painful. I have been single now for 16 years, I never gone on a date, never had another relationship, just raising my children and working. Now, I find myself in love with a married man and I mean really married. He treats his wife with such respect and kindness, he is good father, and a great friend.

I am not looking to replace his wife, I just want a part of him, I know it sounds silly and I am old enough to know better. But at this time in my life it is either a small part in his life or alone for the rest of mines. When I came upon financial hard times he was there to help me and when I had serious health problems he stood by me. I love being part of his family I just want more.

Maybe what you are feeling is the love to be a part of someone's life.. u knbow what it feels like to be cheated on so I don't believe you would wish that feeling upon anyone else... maybe you should just keep it as a friend ship instead you don't want to reck a good thing right?

I'm sorry if this is a stupid question but your don't really make it clear from the post but is he seeking you out for an affair or is he just a friend who helped out in a financial time of need?

You say it's either a small part of him or alone for the rest of you life. I disagree! This is how your choosing to look at things... As well as choosing to not put yourself out there in the single, dating world. These are choices. I think your confusing friendship and admiration of certain qualities this man has as a form of love. Your lonely and I can understand. You need to look elsewhere. Even if he wants more... it's not fair to anyone involved. I'm not saying this in a judgemental way... I've made similar decisions however they never bring about good things. It may be a small respite from the loneliness but your bringing on heartbreak, more pain, and disappointment. PLEASE reconsider. Don't let today's loneliness direct you to a rocky road. Cathy

Having been cheated on, and knowing the misery and pain and loss, knowing first hand that it will wreck his life, and yours, you can't be real about cheating yourself. I think your lonely, and want the easy way to love, and that is wrong. Sorry, you have to do it the old fashion way like everyone else, that is to go slow, with meeting new people and doing interesting things, and letting yourself have a good time, and someone will notice you're a fun loving single, and want to hook up with you. Trying to get a man who is unavailable and out of bounds is insane, given where you've been. And don't mix gratitude with love, as he has been a friend, and I doubt would appreciate you trying to have more than he can give. Find your own peace and happiness. A happy female attracts many men. Take the hint.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Having been cheated on, and knowing the misery and pain and loss, knowing first hand that it will wreck his life, and yours, you can't be real about cheating yourself. I think your lonely, and want the easy way to love, and that is wrong. Sorry, you have to do it the old fashion way like everyone else, that is to go slow, with meeting new people and doing interesting things, and letting yourself have a good time, and someone will notice your a fun loving single, and want to hook up with you. Trying to get a man who is unavailable and out of bounds is insane, given where you've been. And don't mix gratitude with love, as he has been a friend, and I doubt would appreciate you trying to have more than he can give. Find your own peace and happiness. A happy female attracts many men. Take the hint.

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Exactly. You know the pain that cheating causes in a marriage and you want to turn around and do that to somebody else. This married person is off limits and needs to stay that way. You already know the answer. You are looking for something that you did not have but your looking in the wrong place and it will only result in more heartache for you and his whole family.

You need to stop looking for love in the wrong places. You need to stay single and one day when least expecting it that is when your true love will reveal themselves to you. This person needs to be single. Not married. Going after somebody just because your lonely will only be your downfall.

Joe

Please, not to be mean, but find your own. There's nothing worse than sharing a man... especially a married one! He's respecting his wife to a certain extent... If he's cheating on her, that's not respect. Just imagine if you did get him. He would probably do the same to you as he's doing to his wife. And if you say "no, he won't do that", then imagine his wife. I'm sure he told her he won't ever cheat on her, but look. Just put yourself in her shoes. It's a possibility that he might cheat on you if you got together. He may treat you good, but not when it comes to cheating. Please, just leave and find someone else. You don't want to go through what your last relationship put you through, so don't put yourself at risk. Just get over him by finding someone else, or just worry about your kid(s) and only them. What would God want you to do?