Hi
This is my second time posting, I still can't get over my husband cheating with his first girlfriend. After I found those email he sent to her, I recently discovered some bank statements and noticed 2 for hotels. I am feeling really depressed. He never left without me, where ever he went I went, So I am trying to figure out at what time was he with her.
Then I found out he would get out from work early and that's when he would go to her.
He would see her once a month for about 2 to 4 hours. Do you think he loved her.. or was it only sexual? I feel so jealous of her, I feel that I can't compete with his first love, that's the person he started sexually. Right now, we are still together, and he treats me really well, he spoils me and tells me that he loves me, but we haven't talked about it since 2 months ago since I found out. Please, I need advice.. I think about it every day.

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Originally Posted by Missy kitty

Hi
this is my second time posting, I still can't get over my husband cheating with his first girlfriend. after I found those email he sent to her, I recently discovered some bank statements and noticed 2 for hotels. I am feeling really depressed. he never left without me, where ever he went I went, So I am trying to figure out at what time was he with her.
Then I found out he would get out from work early and thats when he would go to her.
he would see her once a month for about 2 to 4 hours. Do you think he loved her.. or was it only sexual?? I feel so jealous of her, i feel that I can't compete with his first love, that's the person he started sexually. Right now, we are still together, and he treats me really well, he spoils me and tells me that he loves me, but we havent talked about it since 2 months ago since I found out. please, I need advice.. I think about it every day.

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I admire your braveness to share your story. I'm not really sure how to respond to this , try to pray about it . Talk to someone who really listens to you and ask them to just listen while you tell them how you feel. Try to talk to your husband one more time. Im not sure how we cold talk , but if there was a way we could talk on the computer I'll be here for you. My name is Bailee!!

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Originally Posted by Missy kitty

Hi
this is my second time posting, I still can't get over my husband cheating with his first girlfriend. after I found those email he sent to her, I recently discovered some bank statements and noticed 2 for hotels. I am feeling really depressed. he never left without me, where ever he went I went, So I am trying to figure out at what time was he with her.
Then I found out he would get out from work early and thats when he would go to her.
he would see her once a month for about 2 to 4 hours. Do you think he loved her.. or was it only sexual?? I feel so jealous of her, i feel that I can't compete with his first love, that's the person he started sexually. Right now, we are still together, and he treats me really well, he spoils me and tells me that he loves me, but we havent talked about it since 2 months ago since I found out. please, I need advice.. I think about it every day.

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Wow... You should not have to compete with another women.. he is married to YOU. Something is definitely wrong if you have to compete with another lady to earn your husbands love. Also, it is always nice to be spoiled, but what matters most in a relationship is trust, compassion, and love. Don't justify your relationship by how he spoils you and tells you he loves you... the spoiling could be out of guilt. I really hope I am not putting salt on the wound, I couldn't imagine how I would feel in your position. But you are not going to be happy unless the BOTH of you really talk this through and perhaps counceling?

Hello,
Thanks for answering... This is my email [email protected], maybe we can talk
Through the msn messenger. I really need to talk to someone, I can't count on my parents or family, They act like if nothing is wrong in my relationship.

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Originally Posted by bailee

I admire your braveness to share your story. I'm not really sure how to respond to this , try to pray about it . Talk to someone who really listens to you and ask them to just listen while you tell them how you feel. Try to talk to your husband one more time. Im not sure how we cold talk , but if there was a way we could talk on the computer i'll be here for you. My name is Bailee!!!!

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This is my email [email protected]

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Originally Posted by Missy kitty

Hi
this is my second time posting, I still can't get over my husband cheating with his first girlfriend. after I found those email he sent to her, I recently discovered some bank statements and noticed 2 for hotels. I am feeling really depressed. he never left without me, where ever he went I went, So I am trying to figure out at what time was he with her.
Then I found out he would get out from work early and thats when he would go to her.
he would see her once a month for about 2 to 4 hours. Do you think he loved her.. or was it only sexual?? I feel so jealous of her, i feel that I can't compete with his first love, that's the person he started sexually. Right now, we are still together, and he treats me really well, he spoils me and tells me that he loves me, but we havent talked about it since 2 months ago since I found out. please, I need advice.. I think about it every day.

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I really think you should let him know how you feel. It's not good to keep your feelings bottled up. It can cause you to take your feelings out on the wrong person w/o knowing it. You may even want to consider marriage counciling. Cheating is a big deal. The fact that the girl he was cheating with was his first love, sorry to say, but I don't think it was just the sex. I think he may not have completely gotten over her before. You need to make sure he realizes that he didn't just cheat... it was an affair; and you won't accept him doing it again. If he thinks he can get away with it he may do it again. I don't however think he doesn't love you, because if he didn't love you he wouldn't be coming home to you.

Thanks for the comments.
He doesn't want to talk about it anymore... he told me he had good memories with her, but he doesn't love her. Also When I found out I wrote to his ex girlfriend, And she told me that she still loves him very much and she knew he was married. She also told me that is not her fault my husband is thinking in other women besides me.. and she laghed at me.. she also told me that I need to work harder to keep him by my side. I haven't told him anything about these emails.. should I tell him?

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Originally Posted by Missy kitty

Thanks for the comments.
He doesn't want to talk about it anymore.... he told me he had good memories with her, but he doesn't love her. Also When i found out i wrote to his ex girlfriend, And she told me that she still loves him very much and she knew he was married. She also told me that is not her fault my husband is thinking in other women besides me.. and she laghed at me.. she also told me that I need to work harder to keep him by my side. i havent told him anything about these emails.. should I tell him??

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Of course you should tell him! It seems that maybe you are letting yourself get pushed around. He probably thinks that he can get away with it because it doesn't seem like you are standing your ground. You need to TELL him, no matter if he wants to talk about it or not, that this DOES bother you still, and regardless of his old "memories" with her, he had an affair and it hurt you. You are his wife now, he needs to work through this with you, and not leave you with this pain. It seems like you want it to work very badly, but it takes two. He needs to wake up and realize his commitment to you, and you only.

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Originally Posted by Missy kitty

Thanks for the comments.
He doesn't want to talk about it anymore.... he told me he had good memories with her, but he doesn't love her. Also When i found out i wrote to his ex girlfriend, And she told me that she still loves him very much and she knew he was married. She also told me that is not her fault my husband is thinking in other women besides me.. and she laghed at me.. she also told me that I need to work harder to keep him by my side. i havent told him anything about these emails.. should I tell him??

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He doesn't want to talk about it anymore!! TOO BAD! You need to be able to ask every question you need to ask as long as you need to. I'm sorry but that is really selfish of him.( but that is only one of his character flaws.) The fact that you are willing to forgive him and HE is all done talking about it. Give me a break. You need to tell him how you feel, that you talked to her and that you STILL do not trust him. If he cares anything about you or the marriage, he will be willing to TALK about it. If not, you really need to move on or you are going to get your heart broke.. over and over. That is just how I see it. I'm sorry I know you are in pain.

oh honey, he needs to know you are not putting up with that s#&% ANYMORE! and you let him know you love him and that you don't have men in your bed! and if he doesn't love her like he claims, then he really ought to leave her azz alone.

i agree with mira55, men lay on the pampering extra thick when they are in the wrong (ala kobe bryant). but they should treat us like queens anyway without the drama you are his wife!

as for that little home wrecker, she really portrayed herself as a pice of work, but i'm sorry. people like that usually get theirs. it's called fate/karma. you be positive and pray. get it all out. it will be over soon, i think.

and oh heck yeah, you should let him know he was willing to ruin his marriage over some sub par skank!!!