Ask Me Help Desk - What should I do ?

Basically I am university as is my girlfriend we are about 30 minutes away by car. I always visit her. And veryhting was going great, then suddenly about 3 weeks ago there are no calls or texts from her unless I initiated contact and we just talked on msn.

I fet that there was something a matter she told me that she didn't feel any need to contact or talk to me. Saying that she would rather spend her time with her friends than with me, she knew that the way she was being towards me was wrong, but she was happy. And nothing was happening with anyone else. We both have a lot of work to do with finals and everything else. Even then there is always time for a phonecall or text now and again.

I sent her a text telling her how I felt and for the first time I 2 weeks she replied but said she didn't know what to do. I said we should leave it till after we have finished with our studies. But now I am not sure that was the right thing as it giver her the impression I am okay with no contact with her.

We have been together on and off over around 3 years. And I understand that she has a new life with new friends at her university, however why would her attitude and feelings towards me change so suddenly?

Anyone's opinions would be much appreciated.

Relax, wait and watch.. in the meantime, u too make friends and chill out. Remember, what has to happen, will happen... let life take its own course... till then, enjoy the present... too much thinking does no good especially where two people r doing their own things and uncertainty remains, it's best to leave it for the time being...

Bump as no oen seems to be replying. Thanks for your response diya I've been doing what you have said no problems. It just bothers me how the girl I love suddenly turns so cold and her whole attitude changes its quite scary

I read your question and I wasn't sure what to say in response because I didn't want to be the possible bearer of bad news if a breakup initiated by her may be in the near future. Maybe she really is just busy right now with exams, friends, etc. and it's nothing to worry about. But in my experience and the experience of people I know, when someone suddenly starts acting noticeably different towards their partner in a relationship, something else may indeed be going on. I am not saying she is cheating, but whatever the problem is, she is definitely becoming complacent in the relationship and taking you for granted. Don't let this turn you into being overly clingy or newly insecure. However, I think that the two of you definitely need to communicate better and have a face to face talk about what you want out of this relationship. Don't accuse her of anything or demand answers or more of her time, but a heart to heart talk may be in order here. If she is not willing to make time for you in addition to her friends, you need to question if this relationship is working anymore. He school and friends are important, but so is her boyfriend.

Thanks foryour reply I haven't spoken to her for 3 days now, and your response makes a lot of sense to me. I don't think she has cheated and she flatly denied it to me. But I still think something is going on.

I left out that last Friday we talked face to face about a numberof things on each others mind, and I sincerely thought after that talk that everything was okay and on track.

But as soon as she got back to her uni it all changed again. I really don't think I deserve to be treated this way.

If I ask to speak to her face to face again will she just think to herself that I am being insecure and clingy

Sometimes no matter what we plan or expect, things and people change, and grow. I think this is what's going on, and she is free for the first time in her life. She has a lot going on and will not stop, but I see a break up coming, and its not your fault. You will be hurt, and devastated, but know that she is not the same sweet little girl you have been going with, she is growing and her lack of attention is a sign, she has other priorities and you should understand, and let her go. Hate to say it but 99% of the time, this is what happens to young separated loves.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Sometimes no matter what we plan or expect, things and people change, and grow. I think this is what's going on, and she is free for the first time in her life. She has a lot going on and will not stop, but I see a break up coming, and its not your fault. You will be hurt, and devastated, but know that she is not the same sweet little girl you have been going with, she is growing and her lack of attention is a sign, she has other priorities and you should understand, and let her go. Hate to say it but 99% of the time, this is what happens to young separated loves.

2 days agao we decided to break it off, its best for all concerned. Thanks for your reply!