My spouse is now at a place in his life he can fight for his daughter not late for payment and never has not paid or been out of her life unless the mother took her away which she did for a year. We have her 6 months out of the year anyway and have a great places for her to live etc.. We do not want to take her away from the mother but feel that if we are already paying for half and then child support then we should also have joint parenting. ( he is not on the list to pick her up, listed as father at school, given medical documentation, notified of teacher conference etc.. things that by law she should be doing still even if he is a non Co. Parent) HOW do I go about doing that in McMinvillle TN?

He was the NCP ( they were young and until now he has not tried to fight it because he has not known how. She tells him because they were never married he could never have joint parenting rights.) because the mother was angry at him because he did not want to be with her anymore because she was pregnant. With another man's baby who is married is now divorce and is living with another man and is 2 child plus her other daughter and our daughter. We feel that it is only right to share everything, just at this point ( for the last 2 years that we have been married) we both feel like we are being taken advantage of and that the mother is doing this for money and not for the well being of the child. When we have asked her about joint she replys she will think about it only to later say that because he left years ago she says she will not do it because this is now he will have to pay for what he has done. We have text messages etc.. To prove this..

Please let us know what we can do or who we can contact because once again this summer we have her 4 months and will be paying child support, plus all the usual bills we have and her childcare etc.. and she will not be paying anything at all and keep the money and then try for more once school start. Please help... we just want what we do anyways, to take care of her jointly and actually ahve a court order saying it instead of just doing it. We love her and want to keep doing this but her mother works a full time job and only has to pay a car payment no other bills, we have proof of that also and she make at least $2000 or more a month. So money should not be the issue it should be what is best of the child and not holding a grudge against a father has been willing to joint take care of the daughter he loves so much. He just has been doing this double pay for years because he fears she will take her away forever, she talks like she wants to when she gets mad. He has not complained because he is her father and can not be out of her life.

I am not real sure I completely understand what you just said, but...
1. If there is no court order for child support and he is just doing it, then he has no obligation to send it. But I would continue to pay something monthly. Here is an online child support calculator for TN which you can use as an estimate of what is fair to send her. Tennessee Department of Human Services If there is a court order for child support then he would need to go ask for a modification.

2. If he has been determined to be the legal father by one of these methods:
a) Affidavit of paternity
b) DNA
c) name on birth certificate
Then he does have legal rights to her, and to have say in her life, and do things such as be listed as her father on school records etc. The thing is without a court order it is difficult. Most of the time as long as you have something proving paternity you can obtain all the school and medical records.

3. Fathers have great opportunities these days for joint physical custody. The courts really favor it. If you have a court order, file an Order to Show Cause for modification of custody/visitation. If you don't have one, then file an Order To Show Cause for Custody/Visitation to get one. All of this is best done by a lawyer I do not recommend trying it on your own as it can be very messy and complicated and there is a lot at stake.

4. Money will really only play a big role in determining child support not custody. Child support is determined by the amount of time each parent has with the child and the parents incomes. It is normal for the NCP to pay the CP child support for the months of summer/vacations times even when the NCP has the child with them.

Hope this helps.

Do you and the mother live in the same town? Would the child attend the same school at both houses? These are things that can impact joint custody. I assume there is a court order giving mom primary custody. The problem with modifying a custody order is the petitioner has to prove that the changes are in the best interest of the child because courts generally feel that if the child is doing well, there is no need for change or disruption to the child's life. It's the old "If it ain't broke don't fix it" idea. The best way to find out what your legal recourse may be is through a family law attorney. But be prepared to pay $750 or more for a simple uncontested modification.