Now that it's the Middle of the week
God the Artist
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really?! How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - 'Our Father, who does art in Heaven..."
Shot With a Bow
Lawyer: "Now, would you please tell the Jury the truth. Why did you shoot your husband with a bow and arrow?"
Defendant: "I didn't want to wake up the children."
CURTAIN RODS---- PRICELESS
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
Suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come to collect her
Things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
Dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and
Feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few
Half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain
Rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his
New girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.They tried everything, cleaning,
Mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and
Carpe ts were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they
Had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the
Expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A
Month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
Find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their
Calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
Purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the
Saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed
Her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce sett lement
In exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price
That was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were
To sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers
Delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
Moving company pack everything to take to their new home and to spite the
Ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU!
