I have not been a member here for too long, but I wonder why SO many people who come here post question they KNOW will elicit negative responses, yet ask for advice and then complain about what they get... Any thoughts? It just irks me when they want "help" until you tell them what they already know!

I think some people really want help, and then there are some out there who are defensive, and in denial. And of course there are people out there who just like the argument. I guess you take the good with the bad.

Sure, but there have been some who I feel know they are doing something immoral, but want absolution here. It usually doesn't go their way, and a lot of controversy ensues. It just amazes me. Have you read "I'm dating a married man"? It isn't the only example, just the most recent I can think of.

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Originally Posted by vlee

Sure, but there have been some who I feel know they are doing something immoral, but want absolution here. It usually doesn't go their way, and a lot of controversy ensues. It just amazes me. Have you read "I'm dating a married man"? It isn't the only example, just the most recent I can think of.

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The "I'm datin a married man" eat the cake for me...
You are right about that one.

(shakes head... )

I guess people only hear what they want to hear, anything other than that is too much for them at the time of posting.
Life is hard, I believe you have to go through the bad times to get to the good,at the time of posting some people may be in denial.

Fix, I love your avatar... it's creepy!

Lol thank you vlee.. a lot of people say that... its weird how people see things, Michael myers`s mask was actually molded from william shatners face.. not scary when you think of it that way :-)

I think people don't want the truth because in most cases facing the truth is to do what is right, and as you've seen there are little people left on this earth that is interested in doing the right thing, others just simply cares about there own benefit.

I think Marily has kind of hit on it a bit.

People come here for many reasons vlee. Women like the "dating a married man" one don't have many, if any, friends. She mentioned that she has no one to talk to about it. A lot of people seem to mention that about whatever question they are posting. When they mention that bit of info, it tells me that they have alienated the people in their lives and are incapable of maintaining true friendships or relationships. They are deeply flawed individuals to create that kind of hole in their lives. The bottom line is, they aren't looking for advice as much as someone who will understand, agree, and sympathize with their "dilemma" because no one in their "real" life is giving them the responses they are looking for. So, they come here, and make our lives miserable in the process. Not because they intend to, but because they are so blinded by their situations they refuse to see the forest for the trees. These are egotistical and selfish people who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. They are missing a moral compass. More times than most, it is because they were never properly taught the difference between right and wrong (moral compass). If you get them to talk about their childhoods, most had a very difficult time and never learned how to get past it and relate properly to others. There is a huge lack of compassion for others that I find deeply disturbing.

I think that people write here because it's safe.
They post under a fake name, they can vent and get things "out in the open".


It's like meeting strangers at the airport...
They tell you the story of their life and at the end of it... both walk to a different gate, never to be seen again and the "secret is safe".

One can have family and friends, but sometimes it is just a good thing to hear another opinion...

It's an interesting board though... and I have to admit that I am often shocked by the people who are trying to justify their relationship with someone who is married or in any other form committed... nobody ever seems to care about the children.
Neither theirs or the ones from the other party.

And that saddens me the most.
Because they are in fact the ones that need help the most...
Children need to be protected.
In every sense of the word.

And a woman who is just trying to justify for her own sake and completely ignores the fact that these children will suffer.. if not now then in years time... that makes me sick to the stomach.

I rest my case.

I think people come here because they need reassurances. They know what the right thing is to do but it's hard and they think maybe there is an easier way. Others hear what they want to hear because they are in a different phase of their life and they are not ready for the outcome - one that is beyond their control. And some people, just simply need professional help - they are selfish and don't think of the impact they may have on others.

There are some who have truly unbelievable stories to tell. I think some of the things here are made up completely, almost just for fun or attention. I like the board here. I even like when people get into heated disagreements, until it just gets too old to bother reading anymore. I am sure the message board helps a lot of people too.

You can't possibly be naïve enough to believe that every story told here is true! FYI Marily, I have thought about this plenty, and have no regrets on my position above. Either you are new to internet boards or don't understand that there are people who post things just to yank your chain. There is nothing "insensitive" (not unsensitive) about calling them like you see them. And in case you missed the last line, I'll rewrite it in caps... I AM SURE THE MESSAGE BOARD HELPS A LOT OF PEOPLE TOO. Maybe you missed that in your haste to be disagreeable.

We must have faith that the stories presented are true. Who are we to judge whether their stories are made up, as we don't personally know anyone in this forum? If they are made up, then I actually feel sorry for them that they would feel the need to do this. Everyone is free to have an opinion and not everyone has to agree with someone else's. It is human nature to become defensive if someone feels as though someone is telling them that they are wrong, but that doesn't mean that their story is not true. Yes, there are some dishonest people out there, but I truly believe that the majority of people in this great country of ours are truthful. I feel that the people who come on this site are caring people who want to help others, as well as to find answers to their own questions.

I hope it helps some people... I know it has helped me before.