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-   -   Hurting (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=92883)

  • May 15, 2007, 01:54 PM
    brownsugar40
    Hurting
    My ex boyfriend broke up with again. We have been together for 6 years. This has been about the 3rd time he said he was breaking up with me and each time it's over nothing. He won't call for a couple of weeks then he starts calling again like nothing ever happened.

    I'm beginning to question myself why I really love this guy. He's 24 years my senior. I'm still kind of young, have a lot going for me, smart and still attractive so I don't know why I put up with this foolishness. I'm angry with myself because I love him so much and let him get away with this. I put up with a lot of his faults but the least little thing I do, he says it's over. Sad thing is I'm really hurting right now. I don't know why I'm pining over a 65 year old man. Dealing with him is the only area where my judgement is impaired.

    He started calling me again as always even though he said it was over. We were talking pretty good. One Saturday morning he called me in a good mood and said he would call me back later. When he called back, I wasn't available to take the call. When I returned his call, he claimed that he push the wrong button that he didn't want anything. Then he started acting funny again and stopped calling. I got the feeling he didn't like that I didn't pick up the phone because I'm usually available to answer his calls. A couple of days later he calls again. He invited me to come to his place. We went out shopping for something I had mentioned I needed. He bought it for me. He even told me he may come and see me even though he says it was over. He lives about 50 miles from me. When that Saturday came, I didn't hear from him. Yesterday he called me twice and he said he would call me back. Today I haven't heard from him. When we were together he called me everyday 2 or 3 times.

    Is he still interested? I'm a very wise woman but when it comes to him, I loose myself for some reason. What's the deal here?
  • May 15, 2007, 04:06 PM
    gypsy456
    Brownsugar... why would you want to be with somebody who broke up three times with you?

    TIt does not matter whether somebody is 65 or 45 or 25.
    It is about the fact that you love this man.
    However.. it does not sound as if you are being treated with respect...
    Breaking up and phoning to pretend as if nothing happened sounds bizarre to me.

    The clock of your life is ticking away...
    Don't waste precious time.

    I mean.. who needs this drama ?
  • May 15, 2007, 04:12 PM
    fix-what-you-broke
    The next time he calls you, ask him if you are together or not, if he says something along the lines of "im not sure" or whatever, just say oh that's fine, I was thinking myself that we need a break,then wish him luck,tell him not to call you for a while and get on with your life for a while.that way you have the control for a change.
    After 6 years together you have a right to know if this relationship is headed somewhere or not, and if it isn't then you should have a say in that too.
  • May 15, 2007, 06:48 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    I'm a very wise woman but when it comes to him, I loose myself for some reason. What's the deal here?
    The deal is your putting up with treatment not fit for a dog, and frankly I must question your wisdom, and so should you. Forget him and worry about you.
  • May 16, 2007, 04:42 AM
    mckenzie134
    the only reason he I treating you in this way is cause you are allowing it to happen!! If you are so wise and really want this to work at all you must realise that he is just using you. Ou musttake the control and show him that you will not be treated in this way and sorry to say the only way you can do this is by telling him this

    ITS OVER IM MOVING ON YOUR NOT RIGHT FOR ME!!

    That is all you need to say, if he is at all keen he will be chasing you and calling and you will havete control if he does not want you he wonyt!

    This may sound stupid and hard and you may say but I don't want to lose hom WELL IF YOU ARE WORRIED AND AFRAID TO LOSE HIM THEN YOU WILL BE WALKED ON!! TAAKE CONTROL SEND HIM PACKING HE WILL BE CHASING YOU LIKE A !^ YEAR OLD DOIT RIGHT NOW

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