My name is christina, I am 24. I feel like I'm 64. In the past 3 years I have lost a childhood friend to cancer, I have failed at a job, and dropped out of college. But I think the real problems started happening about 2 years ago when I was involved in an armed robbery, where I was hogged tied, with my head covered and a gun to it.

You would think living through something like that would make me appreicate my life, but it hasn't. Its made me loss my confidence in everything. I can't seem to do anything for myself any more. I don't feel like I'll be successful. And when I say that, I mean a successful human being. I'm just not good at living. Everyday I wake up, I'm dissapointed.

I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my life about it because it has been 2 years ago since the robbery happened, and I feel as though I should be over it by now. Talking about it to people would only make them think that I'm out for attention. I'm only out to make this sick, dark feeling go away.

While I don't feel like I would kill myself, I definitely feel that I wish I would die. The joke I say to everyone is that today is going to be the best day of my life, because each day is just a little worse then the last. How do I make this pain stop? How to I make myself feel like the smart, confident, beautiful girl I used to be?

I can't imagine going through all that, but you did and your still here for a reason.
I'm not going to get on a religious kick, but your problems are to big for just you by yourself, pray is the first thing to do.
And then its one day at a time, each day decide to do something new, something different, and where you fail at it or not, at least you tried,
You'll never get anywhere sitting still.

Do you blame yourself for all that has happened?

I do blame myself. I've been aware of that much for awhile. I know its irrational, but it's there.

You need to speak with your family doctor about all of this! He/she will first of all determine if there is a physical reason for your problem or confirm that it is, in fact, PTSD. If it is PTSD your doctor can put you on an anti-anxiety medication (request the MINIMUM dose to start) and guide you to appropriate therapy. The medication will help keep the anxiety under control and the therapy will help you work through it so that you no longer need medication. Treatment will generally last about 12 weeks and the most effective therapy is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or just straight behavioural therapy.

PTSD can sometimes be triggered by other events and you may suffer a relapse. If so, the same type of therapy that worked before should work relatively quickly. Relaxation therapy often has great results, as do other stress management techniques which may include yoga, exercise and meditation. You will probably find that a self-help group is very helpful, as well. If you opt for medication, don't stop taking it suddenly. These types of medications need to be slowly withdrawn. There may be side effects, but they can usually be dealt with by a change in dosage (and sometimes just the time of day that the medication is taken!). You also have to stay away from caffeine and watch for other medications that might not be good to take while on the prescribed medication. Always ask the pharmacist if it's okay to take whatever over-the-counter meds or even other prescribed meds with the one you might take for your issues.

Remember, you are not weird or sick. The traumas that you have suffered are very real. People deal with these kinds of things very differently, and there is no right or wrong way to cope. You need to find the right therapist and the right medication. You could be suffering depression, PTSD or another anxiety disorder. It is important to give any medication and therapy enough time, to start meds at a very low dose, and to feel comfortable with your therapist.

How do you make the pain stop? You do it by doing what you have done here. Reach out, seek help and don't quit! Speak openly and honestly to your doctor and therapist. If the treatment and/or medications that you are trying don't seem to be working tell them! I promise you, it will NOT be dark forever! You are well motivated and definitely ready.

Best of luck to you. Please let us know how things are going.

Hugs, Didi

Oh my goodness!
I can't imagine going through that.
I'm so sorry you did.

I don't think that you're out seeking attention - many others won't either.

I had something happen in my life nearly 2 years ago that don't even compare to what you've gone through
And I still have a hard time coping with it.
So please don't be so hard on yourself in that department.

Have you been to counseling?
And why do you blame yourself?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Christinamarie24

my name is christina, i am 24. i feel like i'm 64. in the past 3 years i have lost a childhood friend to cancer, i have failed at a job, and dropped out of college. but i think the real problems started happening about 2 years ago when i was involved in an armed robbery, where i was hogged tied, with my head covered and a gun to it.

you would think living through something like that would make me appreicate my life, but it hasn't. its made me loss my confidence in everything. i can't seem to do anything for myself any more. i don't feel like i'll be sucessful. and when i say that, i mean a sucessful human being. i'm just not good at living. everyday i wake up, i'm dissapointed.

i feel liek i can't talk to anyone in my life about it because it has been 2 years ago since the robbery happened, and i feel as though i should be over it by now. talking about it to people would only make them think that i'm out for attention. i'm only out to make this sick, dark feeling go away.

while i don't feel like i would kill myself, i definately feel that i wish i would die. the joke i say to everyone is that today is going to be the best day of my life, because each day is just a little worse then the last. how do i make this pain stop? how to i make myself feel like the smart, confident, beautiful girl i used to be?

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The answers lies in U friend!!

Best thing to do is keep Yourself occupied, do something which helps you to overcome stress which you were going thro also its atmost necessary that you do somekind of job. Winning or lossing is secondary but as in you get involved, I can asure you that U will come out as a Winner.

Leave the past, start interacting with people as you interact with you online, after all its one Life!! Lets forget the past and work for a beautiful Tomorrow.

I would recommend U to do some morning excersise, which would be of real help.

Pray and go grl n ENJOY LIFE! Have FUN ! Just try it once and let us know it...

I haven't been to counseling, I've tried to get into it but for whatever reason, every time I've tried it hasn't panned out. I blame myself because I accidentally left the store's doors unlocked after we were closed. I put myself in danger, as well as my co worker. Not to mention the fact that the gunman turned out to be someone I knew.

Accidents happen.
When they affect our lives, it's time to seek help and stick with it
Until you've learned the skills needed to move forward instead of reliving the past over and over again.

Whenever ugly thoughts that remind me of unpleasant past experiences pop into my head, I think of something positive.
Sometimes I have to think and say it out loud just to drown out the negativity.

I try everyday to do something good and worthwhile to give me one more positive thought to focus on... even if it's just taking my kids to the park.

I had a hard time at first because I had little good things to focus on - it was like all the bad crap out weighted the good stuff.
I had to force myself to get out there and make some good memories...
It's much easier now and has helped me a lot.

Perhaps it could help you too.

Hi yes well from what you have said that's a bad one, unfortunately events like these can mutate into a number of other manifestations and unfortunate events: medication for bi-polar disorders is difficult because a lot of them are quick fixes with long term body mind and health implications.
A number of anti-depressant medication drugs or otherwise have implications beyond the trial experiements which are not ever spoken about.
Long term I'm afraid it appears to be cold turkey by time expiration or the wearing down effect... I found money is the cure and lots of it by any means obtainable so long is you don't harm others in getting it... im afraid society today is geared around mamon: even the churches agree they can't operate without it now... it seems to give you self esteem back/nice clothes home/car/holidays/jewellrey all part of personal esteem and self awareness... living like a hippy hey man lets save the world... then years later you see the grungies become top politicians or states people/top business moguls is the hypocritical way out: I've found do it but in moderation and enjoy a life... you look a nice pretty attractive lady, find yourself someone who appreciates you with loads of cash... and push the boat out... psychiatrists well in the words of vernon coleman UK 90% are heads and the remainder are professionally innept:::True from my expericences first hand...

I can't imagine the scare you went through. Door unlocked or not, it is not your fault that a criminal chose to break in. You definitely need to deal with the trauma. Please seek counseling. Professionals know that 2 years or not you need to get through this. There is a reason why it has a name PTSD because it truly effects us. You have had your life on hold for 2 years. Seek help and regain that power back. DO not let that criminal keep you from the great life you deserve. Good Luck to you.

I was jogging in August, and was attacked by two black males, I was beaten, hit in the face 3 times, they took my wallet, which had no money in it, and they threw it back at me, and took my iPod and ran off, and left me in the street. And an old guy stopped and picked me up and brought me to my car.

So I definitely feel the same pain you feel. I myself, just try to stay out of bad area's of towns. I watch my back everywhere I go.

I lay in bed wondering if this is going to happen to me again. I'm scared of the dark.

But I just cope with it, I surround myself with people who I know love me and that I trust with my life. They have helped me through everything

I can see this is a very traumatic thing that happened to you.
Years ago I had panic attacks very often and it got so bad I could not leave the
House.I could not stop thinking about them, it was a living hell. What was happening
The fear of having more caused me to think and relive the feelings of the panic and
This would cause the next one to come.I did not know that I could change my thinking pattern to stop it. Our mind is very powerful and we choose what we think on.All
Kind of things will come into our mind but it is up to us what we will keep and think on.
Our mind does creative work in the silence, a still small voice within us.
'Be ye transformed by the renewal of your mind' We have the power to change one
Thought for another.When a bad thought comes into your mind change it , do not
Accept any bad thoughts to stay in your mind.When a thought comes to mind the best
Way to handle it is repeating affirmations. Believing what you say when you say it,
And thinking on them. Here is a good one "I AM HEALTHY, STRONG, YOUNG, POWERFUL, LOVING, HARMONIOUS, SUCCESSFUL, AND HAPPY". You can come up with good thoughts,
Good memories thing and you like to do. Try to correct all negative, evil, unforgiving
Thoughts from your mind. I hope you get the picture here let me know what you think.
I believe in the bible and try to keep my thought on Gods Prommises. He gives me
The strength to over come the evil with good. Think and repeat often the affirmation I gave
You, it will help.

Maggie 3

I don't have an answer other then give yourself the advise you would give some one els if you heard them tell your story . You need to distance yourself from it . And put it in perspective . Just because you left the door open you didn't allow this to happen . You are putting it on yourself . Do you think a women should be raped if she dresses a serten way ? Well her skirt was short ? I know this sounds crazy right ? You think I'm a jerk right ? In a way this is what you are doing to yourself every day . I'm sorry some a**hole did what he or they did . If it helps I've known a lot of bad people in my life that have gone in and out of jail many for crimes like this . You were not thought of it was not personal you feeling this way was never there intent I'm sure . The goal was the robbery . Nothing was in the way of that . The need for making you afraid and fear for you life was a basic tool just as you use a pen to wright with. I do not apove of this way of doing things but I do have an understanding so at the very leasti hope it helps

In my experience, people with post trauma usually have no idea, their behaviour is reckless, drinking to excess, taking risks, being negligent to their own well being.

I would go with an increase of drinking coffee, eating bran, and looking after yourself. In soldier speak "Cut about, like there is no tomorrow"