Ask Me Help Desk - Lost Friend ~ Grilfriend

I have been in a relationship for about 8 months, it is very complicated, as I am not her boyfriend, yet at times I have been.

I meet the girl randomly, and she has a lot of problems (anorexia, abuse, etc. just to name a few) Since I meet her, she has run to me with everything, while she was in re-hab, and even when she went back home, we also live about 2000 miles apart. We talked on the phone all the time, and I visit about once a month.

She never really wants to give in and have a relationship with me, yet she latches onto me and seeks me out for help and even acts as if we are in a relationship.

The times I have visited her, if it was a 3 day visit, things would be great the first night, after that, she constently told me she needed her space.

There is no doubt that in the past couple weeks she has not sleep with someoen else, which is hurtful to me. But just last week she had an incident and ended up in the hospital, she said she needed me so I droped everything and flew to her, I took care of her for a couple hours, when she started feeling better, she told me she could not breath around me and that I scared her and told me to leave or she would call the police.

Pissed I left, and wrote a long letter to her father, I talked briefly with him, and then her theripest called me, both indicated that they are planning an intervention and will try to get her some help, and thanked me so much for helping her.

She had a friend try and contact me the day after I left, and I gave her a piece of my mind, since that time, and I have not tried to contact her, she has blocked me from any means of contact I could have, I know because I did some back cheecking to see how she reacted.

I love this girl, but I don't know what to do, or even if she even cares about me, maybe it has just been I was there to help her feel better about herself.

Any thoughts on what I should do? I don't plan on talking to her for a while, but in time should I ever and should I forgive her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bontemps

I have been in a relationship for about 8 months, it is very complicated, as i am not her boyfriend, yet at times i have been.

I meet the girl randomly, and she has a lot of problems (anorexia, abuse, etc. just to name a few) Since i meet her, she has run to me with everything, while she was in re-hab, and even when she went back home, we also live about 2000 miles apart. We talked on the phone all the time, and i visit about once a month.

She never really wants to give in and have a relationship with me, yet she latches onto me and seeks me out for help and even acts as if we are in a relationship.

The times i have visited her, if it was a 3 day visit, things would be great the first night, after that, she constently told me she needed her space.

There is no doubt that in the past couple weeks she has not sleep with someoen else, which is hurtful to me. But just last week she had an incident and ended up in the hospital, she said she needed me so i droped everything and flew to her, i took care of her for a couple hours, when she started feeling better, she told me she could not breath around me and that i scared her and told me to leave or she would call the police.

Pissed i left, and wrote a long letter to her father, i talked briefly with him, and then her theripest called me, both indicated that they are planning an intervention and will try to get her some help, and thanked me so much for helping her.

She had a friend try and contact me the day after i left, and i gave her a piece of my mind, since that time, and i have not tried to contact her, she has blocked me from any means of contact i could have, i know because i did some back cheecking to see how she reacted.

I love this girl, but i dont know what to do, or even if she even cares about me, maybe it has just been i was there to help her feel better about herself.

Any thoughts on what i should do? I dont plan on talking to her for a while, but in time should i ever and should i forgive her?

Dude, I'm sorry, but it seems that you are letting her walk all over you. The reason that she keeps asking for help from you is because she knows you will, which isn't a bad thing. Believe me, I'm the same way, but you should in no circumstances be involved with this woman. She will keep taking advantage of you until she gets what she wants and then acts like she doesn't want anything to do with you. You seem like a guy that has a lot to offer, don't be stuck on her, who let alone lives so far away, but clearly is using you. You can do so much better.

As for forgiving her, you can forgive her whenever you want, forgiving her doesn't mean you have to fall back into the same thing that you are, or were to her before, it just means that you have decided that you won't let it bother you.

You are a crutch to her nothing more. This relationship is going nowhere. The only one who can help her is her. Move on, please. Go have a life and be happy.

Okay I was in rehab for an eating disorder and a lot of those girls (me included) love creating drama when it is not necessary at all! She 1. wants attention and 2. doesn't really know how to be happy. It may even be subconscious for her but those 2 elements are definitely present in some form. You are AMAZING for flying out to her for just a couple hours! Just hope for the best for her, check up on how she is doing (without letting her know would be better... like ask her dad or therapist or whomever), and spend your energy on a relationship that would be fair to you because she has way too many issues right now and her recovery should come before a relationship at this point in her life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bontemps

I have been in a relationship for about 8 months, it is very complicated, as i am not her boyfriend, yet at times i have been.

I meet the girl randomly, and she has a lot of problems (anorexia, abuse, etc. just to name a few) Since i meet her, she has run to me with everything, while she was in re-hab, and even when she went back home, we also live about 2000 miles apart. We talked on the phone all the time, and i visit about once a month.

She never really wants to give in and have a relationship with me, yet she latches onto me and seeks me out for help and even acts as if we are in a relationship.

The times i have visited her, if it was a 3 day visit, things would be great the first night, after that, she constently told me she needed her space.

There is no doubt that in the past couple weeks she has not sleep with someoen else, which is hurtful to me. But just last week she had an incident and ended up in the hospital, she said she needed me so i droped everything and flew to her, i took care of her for a couple hours, when she started feeling better, she told me she could not breath around me and that i scared her and told me to leave or she would call the police.

Pissed i left, and wrote a long letter to her father, i talked briefly with him, and then her theripest called me, both indicated that they are planning an intervention and will try to get her some help, and thanked me so much for helping her.

She had a friend try and contact me the day after i left, and i gave her a piece of my mind, since that time, and i have not tried to contact her, she has blocked me from any means of contact i could have, i know because i did some back cheecking to see how she reacted.

I love this girl, but i dont know what to do, or even if she even cares about me, maybe it has just been i was there to help her feel better about herself.

Any thoughts on what i should do? I dont plan on talking to her for a while, but in time should i ever and should i forgive her?

U should tell her how you feel.I no how you fel I'm in love but he doesn't love m ehe loves my friend