Dog Who Played Baseball

During the local match, a spectator was surprised to see a dog walk onto the pitch and start pitching, eventually striking out the other all star team, and scoring two home runs.

"That's incredible!" he exclaimed to the man next to him.

"Yes," he said, "but he's a terrible disappointment to his parents. They wanted him to be a footballer."





Kangaroo Fence

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"





More Deep Thoughts

- In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

- Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

- Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

- Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

- If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

- Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

- Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch,' but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

- How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

- Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

- Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

- Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?

- Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women?

- If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?





For The Kids...

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
Cross mouse cards!

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?
Getting it to fit over a bucket!

Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor injuries

What do you call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Sir!

What do mice do when they're at home?
Mousework! :)