Me and my boyfriend of two years have been through everything. I made so many mistakes and I seem never to learn from them. We fight every day about everything I did wrong. I dumped him 4 times for other guys and I never really cared about him or took this relatinoship seriously until about 6 months ago. He has tooken it seriously for a long time. He lost his virginity to me and I lost mine from being raped. Me and him fight constantly though about everything I did and he tells me one minute he's happy and wants to be with me forever and then the next minute he wants to start fights with me and use everything I did against me. He has done his share on hurting me too though, he showed people dirty pictures of me that I sent to him once, and he treats me like I am nothing all the time. I don't know if I should stay with him or do both of us a favor and give up? I am tired of the fighting and I don't think its going to get any better unless he realizes I am serious about this relationship now??

It sounds to me like the wounds are too deep to heal, unless you both have the desire to really really work things out. I say love should be something you need to work on, but not that much. I believe there's too much baggage between you two. He sounds like he loves you but is too hurt and confused. You need to take some responsibility for what you have done. The fights continue because when he is describing his hurt you are defending yourself. Next time try to own up to those things and don't fight with the man that did nothing wrong. Not saying he never did anything wrong, I'm saying take responsibility for the things you have done wrong when he brings them up. Once you take the slack a bit he'll soon let it go and maybe you two can start rebuilding your relationship.

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Originally Posted by whoaheatherwho

me and my boyfriend of two years have been through everything. i made soo many mistakes and i seem never to learn from them. we fight every day about everything i did wrong. i dumped him 4 times for other guys and i never really cared about him or took this relatinoship seriously until about 6 months ago. he has tooken it seriously for a long time. he lost his virginity to me and i lost mine from being raped. me and him fight constantly tho about everything i did and he tells me one minute hes happy and wants to be with me forever and then the next minute he wants to start fights with me and use everything i did against me. he has done his share on hurting me too tho, he showed people dirty pictures of me that i sent to him once, and he treats me like i am nothing all the time. i dont know if i should stay with him or do both of us a favor and give up? i am tired of the fighting and i dont think its going to get any better unless he realizes i am serious about this realtionship now?????

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Quit frankly... it sounds as if you have been married for 25 unhappy years.
And I don't want to be harsh... don't get me wrong...

But you have "only" been together for 2 years and so much has happened, so much that is causing trauma for the two of you...

Is this what you want ?
A relationship that is such a struggle ?

You are dating... and well, this is the time where partners get to know each other and see whether they are compatible or not...

Time to give it some good thought...

What is it that you want for yourself.. listen to your intuition.
Sometimes we really want to be with that person, but it just does not work.. no matter how hard we work.

You dumped him for other people... I am sure that did not happen without a reason..
He is still struggling with your past... that also has a reason.


Time to sit around the table and be honest with each other... without arguing.

Good luck !