Originally Posted by asking
I was married for 15 years to a classically abusive husband who undermined me and intimidated me on a regular basis. We have two kids together. We separated and divorced 6 years ago and recently I have been seriously looking for another partner. I met someone I was really attracted to recently. He wants to spend a weekend together and at first I was enthusiastic but suddenly in the last week I'm getting completely cold feet and don't want to even talk to him. I don't know whether he's really that bad or if I'm just wary of relationships at this point and coming up with excuses. Most of the time, he's charming. But sometimes he seems very angry. He's been separated just one year and is still angry with is ex wife, which seems normal. But he's angrier with her than I am with my ex, who was and is pretty bad.
On our first date, he got in to an altercation with another driver and they ended up shouting at each other. This week he happened to mention a local politician and began lambasting the guy in a way that made me uncomfortable because it seemed so personal and angry. I happen to like this politician but decided not to say anything. Then he told me that he is making his son move out of the house this week even though the son is severely depressed. The son apparently lost it while home alone and broke something, which he then cleaned up. His father told me that he made a joke of it and seemed to think that was the best thing. As a parent, I would take all of this really seriously and see it as an opportunity to talk, but this man acts like he's in total control. When I tried to talk to him about the wisdom of making his son move out when he's so depressed (and also unemployed), he told me it was none of my business and kind of delivered a lecture. He didn't check in with me about how I was feeling or anything. He just delivered the lecture and then changed the subject. He's starting to give me the creeps. Was I out of line to even ask to talk about it? Am I overreacting?
