My girlfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me. She said that she needed space. The reasoning behind this is that she says she just felt unhappy for a while, because of some of my actions. I love her dearly, and I have been giving her the space she has requested. She says that she loves me, but wants to be friends with me for the time being. She says that a lot has happened and it will take some time to even consider being with me again. As of right now, we talk every once in a while, and I keep it cool. I don't beg her to come back or anything, just talk on a normal level. I let her know that I recognize my mistakes, and apologized to her, told her that I would not be that way again, i.e. negative, jealous, etc. I know that I have to show her through my actions, and not just words. I felt it was important for her to know that I cared enough about her to find the error in my ways though. I guess I am not sure how to go about this, as she says she would like to be just friends at the moment, and is not sure if we can be together again. Because, from what I gather from her, she is pretty hurt from the things I was doing, and it is going to take some time to heal that hurt. I know that I have to keep plugging away at my life, and do things for me, but in light of all of that I still want there to be a future for us. Can anyone help me understand what to do, other than what I am doing already? Any insight is helpful!

Respect her and give her space...
There might not be a future for the two of you ?
Accept and move on.
Sometimes things are just "over".

Good luck

Give her space. This is a break up treat it as one. Be unavailable, enjoy your life without her. You both need time apart for the time being.

The other posters are so right as she has told you she is healing, and so should you. Leave her alone and worry about your own healing which means no contact for a while. Do you have a future? That's a question for a psychic. But you can read all the posts in this forum of the misery and confusion of those who stay in contact after a partner wants space, and its cheaper than going to a psychic.

Im in the same situation as you. My girlfriend dumped me three weeks ago mainly because of my jealousy of her past.

I realise now that I made a big mistake and should have enjoyed every minute with her.

She's doing her A levels at the minute and says she wants space, I'm tryng my best to give her it but its very hard, she almost seems like a different person.

We are planning to meet after her exams, I don't know what will happen as she says she doesn't see us getting back together.

Just thought you should know you're not the only one going through this right now

Jealousy and negative thinking can really suffocate a relationship. By the time your girl says she needs space, I'm afraid it is already too late.

She may still have in her heart a special place for you, but the bitterness on her tongue is still vivid in her memories. A jealous man is also usually one who loves his partner to bits... Despite enjoying the attention she gets, she cannot reciprocate by "repaying" you the amount of affection u showed. That is when she feels like she needs to get away from u though she knows u are a caring person.

What u need to do now is to work on eliminating any form of negativity in u that wrecks a relationship. Learn to nag lesser in your future relationship(s); do not probe for answers unless volunteered by your partner(s); stop your mind from conjuring up images of others cheating on u; actively transform bad thoughts into healthy thoughts.

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Originally Posted by jshrckstar

My girlfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me. She said that she needed space. The reasoning behind this is that she says she just felt unhappy for a while, because of some of my actions. I love her dearly, and I have been giving her the space she has requested. She says that she loves me, but wants to be friends with me for the time being. She says that alot has happened and it will take some time to even consider being with me again. As of right now, we talk every once in a while, and I keep it cool. I dont beg her to come back or anything, just talk on a normal level. I let her know that I recognize my mistakes, and apologized to her, told her that I would not be that way again, i.e. negative, jealous, etc. I know that I have to show her through my actions, and not just words. I felt it was important for her to know that I cared enough about her to find the error in my ways though. I guess I am not sure how to go about this, as she says she would like to be just friends at the moment, and is not sure if we can be together again. Because, from what I gather from her, she is pretty hurt from the things I was doing, and it is going to take some time to heal that hurt. I know that I have to keep plugging away at my life, and do things for me, but in light of all of that i still want there to be a future for us. Can anyone help me understand what to do, other than what I am doing already? Any insight is helpful!

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Any insight is helpful... Well first of all, when we say to someone we need space, its what in fact we need, although we still want in somehow talk to that someone, because of our old habits. Are you giving that space to her? Why are you still talking to her and don't leave her alone and her mind work toward you? I mean you still "help" her decisions toward you ? Even if she recondiders her decision and decides to be with you, in fact it was you who helped her act this way. And that is called getting the ex back, but in a manipulative way. On the other side, she may reforce her decision for her own space, as she sees you as a stalker, and someone who in fact doesn't respect his own words (you said her you are giving her space, but you didnt), let alone respecting her and her space... and again you are helping her about this.
I would say, fight with the urge of talking to her in any way possible. Even if she may react angriely about that, you have already the justification... you respect her decision, and her space, and you are giving it to her, as it was what she asked for, so she doesn't need to be angry if you don't talk to her.

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Originally Posted by jshrckstar

My girlfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me. She said that she needed space. The reasoning behind this is that she says she just felt unhappy for a while, because of some of my actions. I love her dearly, and I have been giving her the space she has requested. She says that she loves me, but wants to be friends with me for the time being. She says that alot has happened and it will take some time to even consider being with me again. As of right now, we talk every once in a while, and I keep it cool. I dont beg her to come back or anything, just talk on a normal level. I let her know that I recognize my mistakes, and apologized to her, told her that I would not be that way again, i.e. negative, jealous, etc. I know that I have to show her through my actions, and not just words. I felt it was important for her to know that I cared enough about her to find the error in my ways though. I guess I am not sure how to go about this, as she says she would like to be just friends at the moment, and is not sure if we can be together again. Because, from what I gather from her, she is pretty hurt from the things I was doing, and it is going to take some time to heal that hurt. I know that I have to keep plugging away at my life, and do things for me, but in light of all of that i still want there to be a future for us. Can anyone help me understand what to do, other than what I am doing already? Any insight is helpful!

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Its hard, but some relationships just have to end. Keep giving her space, but still be her friend. If you keep "waiting" for her to come back you, she might realize what is happening and know that she can do what she wants and always have you there waiting. Gah, I can't explain it. Sorry if that doesn't make sense to you

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Originally Posted by snowboarding_chick

its hard, but some relationships just have to end. keep giving her space, but still be her friend. if you keep "waiting" for her to come back you, she might realize what is happening and know that she can do what she wants and always have you there waiting. gah, i can't explain it. sorry if that doesn't make sense to ya

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Just a question, if you dump a guy do you really think he wants to be friends? What should he do with his broken heart?

Yea man, I feel you on this one. Im actually going through the same thing with my girl right now. She left me because of similar reasons, and now I'm going through hell to get her back. All she wants now is space and be friends. All I want is my girl and be happy with her. Ive been trying so hard in many ways in order to see how it can work out again. Trust me is def hard when you look back and think of all the fun you have together etc and now can't even do that. Just give her the space and cry if you have to man.

Hi there.
Dear I Was Going Through Your Question' And What I Am Going To Tell you May
Be Hard To Except, But I Hope you Understand. First Of All.
She loves you very much and does care for you deeply, but what she tell's you
About needing her Space. Is Not All the truth. There is someone else.
Who is trying to enter her life. And now she's Confused... I Hope you Understand.
That As I Was Reading You Post I felt, I had to tell you what I was Feeling.
This other person is confusing her very deeply.

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there is someone else.
Who is trying to enter her life. And now she's Confused...

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Generally this is the case, but without evidence we can't say, but it is a very big possibility.

I am going through the same problem, and although it hasn't been solved, I feel like we have to just let our hearts breath, and think with our brains, We have to think of it as we tried our best, we aren't going to wait around forever, that we love them and care for them or what have you, and hopefully things work out for the best. Basically, from what I am told, and the back of my head tells me, If they love you they will come back to you, and keep trying to be strong by keeping yourself busy, and doing things that make you happy. You, and only you. Wish you the best

I'm going through this step at the moment, and hearing with what you guys have to say, it makes me feel like a terrible person. I've only though about my own reasons. I've considered hers as well, but blocked it out with my own needs. My girlfriend and I have dated for almost 2 years now, though she's broken up with me for a month now. And I've constantly been bugging her, that was a bad decision, she says she doesn't see any hope for me anymore, so I guess I should let it go. Though I'm still hopeful, which sucks, because in my heart, I know she is the one. And I ruined it. I feel like a stupid person. I don't regret a single thing I've done being with her. But all I have to say is that you should give her space because you are going to regret not doing so..

If it is truly the end, it is better to leave on a positive way by no further contact. I would want someone who I thought was really special to think back in some distant future and say that a was a good person and not some annoying stoker. If it's the end, except the pain and hurt and just tell yourself, " hey, I gave it all I had".