Ask Me Help Desk - Child Custody

I have been with the same man for over 4 years. We have a 3 year old daughter and another baby on the way. Back in 05 we had some problems and I gave up custody of my daughter to him, thinking that because I didn't have a job, a home or a car I wouldn't be able to win custody without a way of supporting her. So, now we still live together and he wants custody of this baby simply because he does not want to split them up. I agree with not separating them, but he is NOT getting custody of this baby! I was dumb enough to let my daughter go, I am not making the same mistake twice. His family is telling me that unless he can prove that I am unfit, he won't get custody. He doesn't even take care of our daughter, he can't take care of an infant. He works at night. I am the one who takes care of her. I work during the day, I take her to daycare, pick her up, bring her home, she is under my care. Right now she is in a different city for a few weeks with family. He has 3 other children that he doesn't even talk to. I will fight for both of my children. People have told me that if we take this to court for custody of the baby that it will open up the case for my daughter. Is this true? Also, let's say I have this baby tomorrow. Next week my guy tells me it's time to go to the Attorney General so he can file for custody(because I have him convinced he's getting it) and I say no because that's what I am going to say, and we start the whole fight and process of getting custody and going to court... who gets the baby until the case is over? Which parent gets to keep the baby with them? Surely not him if he can't watch him? My family is telling me to leave now while my daughter is not with us so he can't take the baby, but I don't want any stress on me or the baby right now. What should I do?

Are you living together ? But let me see you are decieving him, lying to him

And no opening up this case for this baby has nothing to do with the other child, you will have to file a case asking for cusody of both children and of course you can't sign over any rights to a child not born yet anyway. And why are you even having another baby with a man like this, why did not go back for joint custody when you moved back in with him ?

But you need an attonrey as soon as the child is born you file for custody

Yes, we are living together. You may look at it as lying, and maybe that's what I am doing, but he is not getting custody of this child. No matter if there are 2 or 20 cases open, I am going to fight for custody of both of my children. I have that right. I am simply asking who gets the baby during all of these battles?

And I didn't go back to file anything on our daughter because he would've ended the relationship and kept me from seeing her everyday like I do now. :mad:

I don't get it. If you are living together, and he works nights and you work days, does it really matter who gets custody? And why, if you are living together and having children with this man, don't you just get married and raise the kids together? Are you intending to leave him? Because I don't see that custody matters unless you are not living together.

Froggy, read my post under relationships and you will find the answers to this. He does not want to marry me, he is still married to his ex-wife in the catholic church. It matters to me who gets custody.How is he going to watch 2 children while he works at night and sleeps during the day? He would have to pay for daycare for two children during the day and find someone to watch them at night. He can't afford it. He drinks every night and doesn't take care of the child we have now. He can't even take care of himself. He wants custody of this baby, but I am not going to give it to him. Once I tell him no he will end this relationship. THEN that will constitute the "intending to leave him" part. Yes, we are living together and he has custody of our daughter and I pay him child support. If I mention that I want to take the child support off because we are living together, he won't do it because he thinks I will take off with our child. That's why he wants custody of our baby too, because he thinks I will take off with both children. But I am not going to let him have custody of both of our children. We live in Texas and everyone knows this is a woman's state, unless he can prove I am unfit, I will get custody. :eek:

First, Did you sign over your parental rights to him or just custody? Legally custody has two parts to it. There is physical custody which means the child lives with the custodial parent and there is parental custody which means having a say in the child's upbringing. Since you live with the children and care for them it appears you have both, at least on a defacto basis.

Now it appears you want to end this relationship. So I would suggest you see a Family attorney. I think you have a good chance depending on what you did when the first child was born, in regaining custody of her. I think there is no chance for him to gain custody of the newborn.

As soon as the baby is born, have your attorney file a petition for full custody of both kids. You should get physical custody. On the other hand, I doubt if you can prevent him from getting partial custody, which means he will have visitation rights and a say in how the children are raised.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica713

I have been with the same man for over 4 years. We have a 3 year old daughter and another baby on the way. Back in 05 we had some problems and I gave up custody of my daughter to him, thinking that because I didn't have a job, a home or a car I wouldn't be able to win custody without a way of supporting her. So, now we still live together and he wants custody of this baby simply because he does not want to split them up. I agree with not separating them, but he is NOT getting custody of this baby! I was dumb enough to let my daughter go, I am not making the same mistake twice. His family is telling me that unless he can prove that I am unfit, he won't get custody. He doesn't even take care of our daughter, he can't take care of an infant. He works at night. I am the one who takes care of her. I work during the day, I take her to daycare, pick her up, bring her home, she is under my care. Right now she is in a different city for a few weeks with family. He has 3 other children that he doesn't even talk to. I will fight for both of my children. People have told me that if we take this to court for custody of the baby that it will open up the case for my daughter. Is this true? Also, let's say I have this baby tomorrow. Next week my guy tells me it's time to go to the Attorney General so he can file for custody(because I have him convinced he's getting it) and I say no because that's what I am going to say, and we start the whole fight and process of getting custody and going to court...who gets the baby until the case is over? Which parent gets to keep the baby with them? Surely not him if he can't watch him? My family is telling me to leave now while my daughter is not with us so he can't take the baby, but I don't want any stress on me or the baby right now. What should I do?

If you just signed over custody you can undo that. If you signed away perental rights that a new ball game. I will assum you just signed over custody, go back to the corts and request custody of your daughter back. This new baby will be in your custody when it is born and unless you give the custody to him it will stay that way.