A Norwegian and a Canoe

Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?"

"No, I don't," said Ole.

"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.





Missing Homework

After teaching high school for nearly 20 years, I thought I'd heard every possible excuse for missing homework until one parent sent me this note: "Please excuse Lori for not having her algebra homework. The cat had kittens on it last night."





Car Sale

Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles.

One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "if only I can sell the car."

"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"





For The Kids...

Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!

What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!

How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!

I was on spuid row once... just for the halibut. There was a drunk standing on the corner singing That's a Morey.
By the way, did you hear about the three guys and one girl that went deep sea fishing? The guys didn't catch anything but she came back with one Red Snapper.