Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriend's ex-crush.

My boyfriend's ex-crush.

Well my boyfriend and I are new to the relationship world...
We have a lot in common especially in self-experiences.
We are both a bit emotionally unstable but are in love.
And we know that we still have so much to learn.
Recently; we had a large argument about his ex-crush that he loved.
He tells me that he loves me out of all the people in the world; its me he loves.
And yet; his communication with his ex-crush is making me feel insecure.
I mean; his feelings for her can still be there.
There is a chance that she may develop feelings for him over time.
Im thinking that we need to take a break, to make us miss each other and to see if we can really handle being away from each other.
But Im afraid that our feelings for each other will change for the worst.
I don't know what to do.

Taking a break for this reason alone is not worth your while.

You need to be more secure about yourself and secure when he tells you he loves you.

Have you communicated to him how u feel about his ex?

Yeah and he says that he doesn't love her anymore.
He constantly tells me its me; he loves.
And yet; I can't seem to believe that.

Why not?
Why don't u believe that?

Because I've heard it before and it was all a lie.

Something I had to learn a long time ago, is that there is ALWAYS a what if. And what if hates relatonships.
See, if someone, anyone, wanted to cheat, they could. I know that although I am with my fiancé evey moment of the day, except when we are working, that I still go home at night.
I know that a lot of girls find him attractive, and that he has a good 10-12 hours in the late PM early AM that any one of those people could be sharing his bed.
The thing is, he is not. Because my relationship consists if Myself, and my fiancé, and what if can go on with itself.
If your boyfriend still has a crush on this girl... there is nothing that can be done about it, and stressing over it will only hurt you.
If your boyfriend doesn't like this girl anymore... Stressing about it will only hurt your relationship.
Its normal to get jealous... but I am a firm believer in
"You can not control your emotions, but you can control your actions."

Quote:

Originally Posted by shefellinlove4117

well my boyfriend and I are new to the relationship world...
we have alot in common especially in self-experiences.
we are both a bit emotionally unstable but are inlove.
and we know that we still have so much to learn.
Recently; we had a large arguement about his ex-crush that he loved.
He tells me that he loves me out of all the people in the world; its me he loves.
And yet; his communication with his ex-crush is making me feel insecure.
I mean; his feelings for her can still be there.
There is a chance that she may develop feelings for him over time.
Im thinking that we need to take a break, to make us miss each other and to see if we can really handle being away from each other.
But Im afraid that our feelings for each other will change for the worst.
I don't know what to do.

Not everybreak up ends up with hating your ex. Some ex's still remain friends. Your insecurities are bringing negativity into the relationship and that will cause a wedge between you two and eventually tear you apart. He's told you how he feels now you need to trust what he is saying you to. If you can't believe what he's saying because of past experiences you should join a support group or get counseling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shefellinlove4117

well my boyfriend and I are new to the relationship world...
we have alot in common especially in self-experiences.
we are both a bit emotionally unstable but are inlove.
and we know that we still have so much to learn.
Recently; we had a large arguement about his ex-crush that he loved.
He tells me that he loves me out of all the people in the world; its me he loves.
And yet; his communication with his ex-crush is making me feel insecure.
I mean; his feelings for her can still be there.
There is a chance that she may develop feelings for him over time.
Im thinking that we need to take a break, to make us miss each other and to see if we can really handle being away from each other.
But Im afraid that our feelings for each other will change for the worst.
I don't know what to do.

If your boyfriend is really "in love" it will not matter who he talks to. If you take a short break and he forms a relationship with the ex, then he really wasn't in love in the first place. Have you tried to talk to him and tell him your concerns? An open communication relationship is always best because you put it all on the table up front. Distance cannot conquer love.

I guess I have to believe in what he says.