Is it possible for me to have my daughter's surname changed to my married name? I live in PA. Her dad and I split up when she was 3. I gave her his surname upon birth. I have since married. I have primary physical custody and full legal custody of her. He does see her twice a week. Can he object? If he can (and he would) what are legitimate reasons that a court would allow such a change?

Her dad and I live in different school districts. All of her friends and their parents know only my husband and I, and it is hard for my daughter to explain why her last name is different from ours. She feels excluded from our household, as she does not share the same name as her mom, brother, and step-dad, whom she refers to as her dad. She has wanted to change her surname since I got married, but is only 7 and would not likely be heard in court.

You can check with the laws in your state, but in the state that I live in, it is highly unlikely that any judge would order this for any reason (especially if the father objected). I understand how you feel about this situation I used to feel the same way about my child from another marriage. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about having another last name, but he is actually fine with it. I do think that it is common for a 6 or 7 year old to ask a lot about her name and your name and everyone else's names. She is a girl so at least if she gets married then she will change it then. But I asked and ask why I couldn't change my sons name to mine and finally someone told me, something that hit home.. They said that unfortunately this is the consequences of divorce and remarriage, this was the choice I made when I decided to divorce.

I get that, believe me. But she has been in therapy for a year over crap her dad has pulled. I have never suggested that she change her name. She asked a couple of years ago. I told her it probably wouldn't happen. Every time I think she has forgotten it, she brings it up again. It's just a sad situation... her dad has three daughters by three different mothers. He raises only one child full time. She actually told him she wanted to change her last name before she told me. In fact, I found out when he called and started screaming at me. At the time I didn't even know what he was talking about. There are circumstances that are currently under way which I can not post online, but it is possible he will have supervised visits only in the future.

I understand your frustration, but I believe that the only way to legally change the name would be for him to give up his parental rights willingly and the child be adopted by another person. This is the only ways I have heard of a minors name being changed.

Thanks for your help. A name can be changed without adoption. Her dad would still be her dad, but she wouldn't have his surname. It wouldn't change his rights. At any rate, I didn't figure I'd be able to do it without his consent, but it is worth learning about.

I don't agree that her father would have to give up parental rights in order for the child's name to be changed. Name changes are done all the time. Some people change the name a child will be called without changing it on paper legally. It would be assumed as a nickname. I've seen people do the same with a last name. Telling the school the child is to be called by... No one batt's an eye. Depends on your area. I know at birth you can give the child any last name you want. No proof of who father is or surname at all. I would contact an attorney to see the steps needed and if it could be done without terminating rights. The child's father will still be the same if she is called "this" or "that". It's more an issue with the father than anything. That said... I would think hard on this as a decision today could come back to haunt you much as you are now in a situation your not comfortable with...

I couldn't care less what her surname is... I love her no matter what she is called, and I have told her that. I have tried to explain that not having the same last name as me does not mean she isn't a part of this family. She is the one who wants it so badly. I would be happy to be able to oblige her, but I am not concerned in the least about having different surnames. I just want her to be happy and feel comfortable.

You could always call the county you live in and check what the process is. When my nephew was born his parents were not married so my, now, SIL gave him her last name. When they got married 5 years later, she had it changed to my brother's.
It was a simple process of getting a birth certificate from the state he was born in and filling out paperwork. No attorney was needed.
So, you could just call and ask what the policy is on this and casually ask if there would be a reason to have this denied. A compromise could be to hyphinate the last name.
Like Molly Smith-Jones. Just a thought.

In the situation of my brother and SIL, he was listed on the birth certificate.

I did a little research and this is what I found - hope it is helpful.

Name Changes for a Minor

Parents often wish to change their children's names when they make a new start in life. A name change for a child is simple, if the birth certificate was issued in Pennsylvania and both biological or adoptive parents consent to the change of name. Both of the biological parents must complete and sign the form on the back of their child's birth certificate. The form is then mailed to the Department of Vital Statistics. The Department of Vital Statistics will send the parents a new birth certificate containing the child's new name. Please note that Social Security will not change your child's name on his or her Social Security card unless you get a court order to change his or her name or you can show Social Security two acceptable forms of identification for the child, one in the child's previous name and one in the name on the new birth certificate. Some acceptable forms of identification include: a passport, school identification card, health insurance card and state issued identification card. It is very important that your child's name be the same on his or her birth certificate as on his or her Social Security card as it may otherwise be difficult in the future for your child to get a driver's license, passport or state issued identification card.

More information on changing a child's name on a Pennsylvania birth certificate may be found on the Internet at: http://www.health.state.pa.us/vitalr...orrections.htm

A petition for a change of name for a child, where the other parent will not consent, should not be attempted without the advice of an attorney, because a petition must be filed in court. An attorney will help you find out if the Court is likely to grant a name change under the particular circumstances of your case. The following general rules apply to such petitions.

The Judicial Standard for changing the name of a child is "the best interest of the child." A parent or guardian who is seeking to change the name of a child must prove that the change is in the best interest of the child. The following matters are usually considered by the Court in determining whether to grant a petition to change a child's name:

The natural bond between parent and child. A change of name may affect the relationship between a parent and child. Most Courts find it in "best interest of the child" to maintain the link between parent and child. The Court will look at the parent's history of visitation with the child, whether child support payments have been maintained, and whether the parent has been consistently involved in the child's life. The Court must also consider the ties between the child and the parent's extended family.

The social impact or respect afforded a particular name in the community. A name change may be granted by the Court to protect a child from the bad reputation of a biological parent in the community. The link between the parent and child may cause embarrassment or problems for the child in school and the community. For example, a name change may be granted where a parent has committed a notorious crime in the community and the child suffers harassment because of bearing his or her parents' surname

The age and ability of the child to understand the significance of changing his or her name. A Court is reluctant to change the name of a child when it fears that the petitioning parent is motivated by self interest. Children who are involved in bitter divorces or custody battles are often influenced by parents. The Court may look to the child to figure out whether the child understands the impact of changing his or her name. A young child will most likely not be able to understand what it will mean to change his or her name. Of course, a teenager can probably express his or her desire and understanding of the impact of the name change to a greater degree. The Court will decide how much weight to give to the desires of the child.

This answer covered all bases!

You have to file a petition for the name change of a minor in PA (you can get the form for 9.99 at publiclegalforms.com). The filing fee is around $70. Without the other parent's consent you have to prove that it is in the best interest of the child to have it changed. If the other parent has a bad reputation in the community and/or the child can express to the judge that he or she wants his/her name changed and why, then you should have a good chance at receiving a court order. The court will notify the other parent of the hearing and your petition.

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