My boyfriend's guy friend's been living with us for the past few months, and he's been getting under my skin when it comes to my 1yr old he's been spanking her on the in front of me for going in his room downstairs and I'm sick and tired of him spanking her, but I haven't said nothing about it to him yet about how mad it pisses me off and I need help finding a way of telling him without going off the bat if that's possible maybe I just don't want to hurt his feelings but I've had it to here, I can't take it anymore.:mad:

I don't think you should be afraid to tell him not to spank your child. It is of course YOUR child and NOT his.. so I feel that you should straight up tell him. Maybe not in such a mean way. But at least let him know that you don't like it, and that if she enters his room again to let you know and you will deal with her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crystalthepistel

My boyfriend's guy friend's been living with us for the past few months, and he's been getting under my skin when it comes to my 1yr old he's been spanking her on the in front of me for going in his room downstairs and i'm sick and tired of him spanking her, but I havent said nothing about it to him yet about how mad it pisses me off and I need help finding a way of telling him without going off the bat if thats possable maybe I just don't want to hurt his feelings but i've had it to here, I can't take it anymore.:mad:

---

You are not telling a stranger how you feel about him spanking your child??

Come on...


This is your child...
You allow a stranger to hit her.


Wake up mad mum and open your mouth.

This child -no matter whether she is naughty or not- needs to be protected by her mother.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crystalthepistel

My boyfriend's guy friend's been living with us for the past few months, and he's been getting under my skin when it comes to my 1yr old he's been spanking her on the in front of me for going in his room downstairs and i'm sick and tired of him spanking her, but I havent said nothing about it to him yet about how mad it pisses me off and I need help finding a way of telling him without going off the bat if thats possable maybe I just don't want to hurt his feelings but i've had it to here, I can't take it anymore.:mad:

---

OK, you don't want to "hurt his feelings" but it's OK for your child to be spanked??

A "friend" living in your home is not good to start with,

While I believe in a spanking when needed, I believe it is the parent, not a guest. You explain if he does it again you will call the police and press charges of assult, and then tell him he has 30 days to get out ( assuming he is paying rent)

This is the best time to "go off" if there ever was one.

Oh! If someone hit my child or touched my kid in anyway without my permission... I'd go off the bat!
This guy needs to leave -- today!

I am appalled. NO ONE has the right to touch your child or use any verbal abuse. Tell this "friend" to leave.
It is hard enough to make a relationship work these days without a "friend " being involved.
Your little family needs time for yourselves.
You need to be MOM and protect your child.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crystalthepistel

My boyfriend's guy friend's been living with us for the past few months, and he's been getting under my skin when it comes to my 1yr old he's been spanking her on the in front of me for going in his room downstairs and i'm sick and tired of him spanking her, but I havent said nothing about it to him yet about how mad it pisses me off and I need help finding a way of telling him without going off the bat if thats possable maybe I just don't want to hurt his feelings but i've had it to here, I can't take it anymore.:mad:

---

The hell with hurting his feelings... uou are the mom and that is your child... stand up and do what is right!!

I can't believe you gave a "guest" in your home the right to disicpline your child. The punishment does NOT fit the supposed crime and is excessive. If anyone other than my spouse or myself took it upon themselves to "spank" my child, I would tear a strip off them and they would no longer be welcome in my home. A child rely's on the parent to protect them. So protect your child. Your roommate is an adult and should know better.

Do not EVER be afraid to stand up for your child - I don't care who the offending person is. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PUT HIS HANDS ON YOUR CHILD! NO ONE!
Speak Up!

Crystal, this is abuse, plain and simple.

If this continues you run the risk of having your child taken away from you. And why? Because you were afraid to stand up on behalf of your innocent child.

She trusts you to protect her and you are not right now.

Please tell this "friend" (and I use the term loosely) to get out of your house now!!

The first time if something like that happened with my child by somebody else. I would probably grab the mother ------ by the throat and strangle the sun of a bit--.

Joe

What does your boyfriend say? Is he okay with someone hitting his kid?
My husband would flip out - even if were his brother - NO HITTING!

YOu don't trust yourself or your instincts. YOu are letting others control your life and take authority over your child. All I can say is that is very dangerous! YOu could really make matters worse by doing that. You are creating a situation that could cause more abuse. I wouldn't trust anyone who will spank a kid that isn't theirs. How do you even know what else he may do. STop being immobilized by your fear of someone being mad at you. What if he abused her in another way? You can't take that back. Your daughter needs to feel like you will protect her regardless of the situation. If she can't count on you then who can she count on? How would you feel as a small child if your mom let some stranger hit you and she did nothing? It will be something you will regret. Nothing is more important than your relationship with your child and nobody is more responsible than you for the safety of that child. I am not lecturing you, that is a fact of life. I think you need to stand up for yourself more, it seems like you let this boyfriend have more control over your life than you should. Why doesn't he tell his friend to stop? Why is he letting his friend stay there if he isn't respectful to you or your kid? What is up with this guy? Something seems shady about him and his friend. I am not trying to down you, it just seems you deserve better. Although you have to want better for yourself before anything will change.

It is not a guests place to discipline your child.