My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He was my first love. We date for just about a year but we had been best friends for about 3 yrs. I became really close to him over that time. I even thought we would get married. He said he felt the same. But then at the end he said I was too much of a hassle and he couldn't handle it right now. But then I said some horrible things and he will never talk to me again. He made me feel special. Even though I did find out he had cheated on me a few times while we were together I just can't seem to get myself over him. When I'm in public I am able to smile and have fun but every time I am alone I break down. What can I do? I know he was a jerk, but when he wanted to be he was amazing. How can I make this pain go away?

Bad news, you can't make it go away. It goes away on its own. Keeping busy and preventing yourself from breaking down as much as possible helps to some extent, but the only true thing that solves all the problems is the acceptance part. Once you realize what he did to you and stop making excuses for him, you'll feel a whole hell of a lot better, but the bad news is that won't be for a while.

We're going through the same thing except that my boyfriend never cheated on me... and did everything a partner should do except that I can't feel him and I don't know why he is doing the things he is doing... I mean, he is there but I still don't feel wanted and loved... he was never scared of losing me... so I was the only one dictating where the relationship was going to go, ill get what I want, if I want to stay, he stays, if I want out, then he's out too... so there's really no point of going on with it... it's just empty, like white-washed tomb...
My coping up though is talking to friends a lot, getting into forums like this... and it helps me to not show the world I am grieving... in the same way that it helps me if I just break down and cry it all because somehow you'll know the tears and pain will all dry up if you just keep on crying :)
And you know, go to spas, get a massage, shop, feel beautiful :)
And lastly, take this time to be closer to God.

Here's a very nice song for you.. I hope you can download this song and keep listening to it even if you will have to cry while listening to it but it will strengthen you... I promise...


Someday by NINA

Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see it through my eyes
By then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i cared

I know
You dont really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well i've got news for you
I know i'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

By now
I know you can't tell
I'm down,and i'm not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Quote:

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Originally Posted by watdoidonow

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He was my first love. we date for just about a year but we had been best friends for about 3 yrs. I became really close to him over that time. i even thought we would get married. he said he felt the same. But then at the end he said i was too much of a hassle and he couldnt handle it right now. but then i said some horrible things and he will never talk to me again. he made me feel special. even though i did find out he had cheated on me a few times while we were together i just can't seem to get myself over him. When im in public i am able to smile and have fun but every time i am alone i break down. what can i do? i know he was a jerk, but when he wanted to be he was amazing. How can i make this pain go away?

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You can't make the pain go away.

That takes time...

It's a cliché but it's true...

You need time...

Keep the good memories and move on...

One day you will wake up and the pain will be less...

Good luck!

Its been nearly 5 weeks since me and my ex broke up, he too was the love of my life. Its not easy and I'm guessing you know that because its been about the same time. But it gets easier with time.
Just don't rush yourself into getting over him, do it all at your own pace and don't forget the things that made you smile.

I know its been said a lot on here but do things you enjoy and start new things - if you have ever wanted to try something nows the time to do it. Do the things that make you happy and make you smile and the things that make you think the least about him.
You won't ever forget him but the pain with get less.

Somedays for me I feel great but then it will only take one thing, like to see his name written somewhere or a song and I get sad. If you need to cry do it, I've refused to let myself cry because my ex doesn't deserve the tears but I wish I could sometimes.

As everybody else has been saying- it takes time. It hasn't been very long. I haven't seen my ex's faces for over 3 months now and I still think about him day and night, I still work where he used to work so every square inch of the place and the streets around it remind me of him and I work 6 days a week!

I went through the stage of crying everyday and begging God for him to come back to me and there was times where I felt suicidal (although I would NEVER do anything to harm myself) so believe me I know what you're going through.

I think what helped me in the past months was to just get on with life as harsh as that sounds. For ages I was dead inside and put my life on pause in the hope that he'd come back and eventually I got really sick of moping about. I allowed myself to mourn the relationship through tears, withdrawal, lack of appetite etc but after a certain point we all know that its becoming a bit unhealthy to stay in this mentality.

Its at this point where I started working more, distracting myself and creating goals of self improvement. They can be however materialistic or spiritual as you want them to be but at the end of the day it makes you feel a little bit more new, happy, attractive etc
One of my goals is to save money and take driving lessons- something to look forward to that makes me feel good.

This is a time to focus on yourself. Things happen for a reason. I'm not saying that the approach I took will necessarily help you out as we all work in different ways, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try when you're ready. In reference to the cheating- the fact that it was a few times says to me he didn't have much respect for you. I've never been cheated on (not to my knowledge anyway) but I do know it is something I would not tolerate. Use the cheating as a reason to despise him and then when you do think about him you'll naturally learn to not want anything to do with him. I'm no expert- just speaking from my own experience so I hope it helps : )

Pain is a very temporary emotion... like you know you fall and get hurt and the wound hurts, but how do you think the pain goes away? Ever wondered?. on its own honey, and one day u wake up to see the wound is no more. That's how every pain is... it will go... It will and sooner you realize that u're the same girl you were before you met him, u'll recollect your life and find a reason why not to live normal again when you were living then!! When I need to forget someone(this is just my crude way of forgetting about someone)... is to think that person is actually dead and then I only wish him well from the heart, take a deep breath and move on for better pastures in life... think about it...

"How do I move on?"

Quite simply you make the decision to move on. You are what you think. You suffer what you think you will suffer. If you don't like what is happening in your life right now then change what you are thinking.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by watdoidonow

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He was my first love. we date for just about a year but we had been best friends for about 3 yrs. I became really close to him over that time. i even thought we would get married. he said he felt the same. But then at the end he said i was too much of a hassle and he couldnt handle it right now. but then i said some horrible things and he will never talk to me again. he made me feel special. even though i did find out he had cheated on me a few times while we were together i just can't seem to get myself over him. When im in public i am able to smile and have fun but every time i am alone i break down. what can i do? i know he was a jerk, but when he wanted to be he was amazing. How can i make this pain go away?

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Well I have gone through the same once before.
I know what your going through, I know it's tough but you will get through it, You are feeling like this because you loved him, and you miss him.
In time you will get over it, and move on. One day you will find that nothing was worth it.
Just when your lone you can stop yourself from braking down.
Don't worry, U will get through it. :)