I am lost with guilt I have been in this relationship for 8 years almost and he was in the navy for 4 of those years and while he was gone I cheated on him more then once and I was honest with him and he stayed with me and he has not been faithfull either and all we do is fight and he is verbally abusive and has been physical a couple times to me and I think it is because he is mad at me for what I did and I do not blame him but I was faithfull for for about 3 years until just recently I cheated on him a couple weeks ago after I kicked him out after a hugh fight and now we are back together again and now I feel even worse I have not told him but I really like this guy that I cheated on him with... I do not know what to do I feel a obligation to him because we have been together so long and he does not have a job and he depends on me but I really do not want to be with him anymore... we are married and have 2 small kids?? Please give me some more advice

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Originally Posted by kgalindo

I am lost with guilt I have been in this relationship for 8 years almost and he was in the navy for 4 of those years and while he was gone i cheated on him more then once and i was honest with him and he stayed with me and he has not been faithfull either and all we do is fight and he is verbally abusive and has been physical a couple times to me and i think it is because he is mad at me for what i did and I do not blame him but i was faithfull for for about 3 years untill just recently I cheated on him a couple weeks ago after i kicked him out after a hugh fight and now we are back together again and now I feel even worse I have not told him but i really like this guy that I cheated on him with.....I do not know what to do I feel a obligation to him because we have been together so long and he does not have a job and he depends on me but I really do not want to be with him anymore ..........we are married and have 2 small kids????? please give me some more advice

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Seriously if you don't want to be with him anymore tell him no matter how hard it is! What's the point in making him think that you are wanting to be with him when your not. But make sure the man who you want to be with wants you though otherwise you'll end making a huge mistake.

The only thing I can say to this is GET OUT of this relationship now.
He is verbally abusive, and physicly, and emotionally.
Cheating on him was wrong... but if he had a problem with it he should have left you, not hit you or make your lives miserable.

Poor children...

Having said that... there is NEVER and I have to write it like that NEVER an excuse for abuse.

Leave.

Do never allow anybody to abuse you.

The simple answer is to split up.if you love somebody you don't cheat.he might not be there all of the time, but think about the people who can't see each other because of long distance.if you can cheat once and be forgiven only to do it again you don't deserve him... if he has cheated on you in return he was getting revenge, not a healthy relationship

Don't lead him on thinking that you both are going to live like this... as far as the children go its really bad that you have them there and are still in that abusive relationship!
With this "NEW" partner of yours I think that instead of jumping in the sack with him that quik think of your kids and about how they would feel

One morning they wake up to DAD!! Next morning they wake up to STRANGER!!
I believe you should put your kids first. Take whatever NEW relationship slow!! The kids need to become accustom to him...
Take it from someone who knows...
My mum moved from guy to guy and I was and still am disgusted in her... the men that came and went were unbeliveable and they tried to get me to call them dad!!
(far warning... ) after a while I got sick of it asked my father to fight for full custody at the age of 9!! My father fought for 2 years and received full custody...
Don't drive your kids away...

I'm sorry if I'm so upfront but this is a subject I feel strongly about.
Hope all goes well...