Am I a jerk or is she the jerk?
Help! My daughter is 19 years old. She just came home from her first year of college and we have learned that she failed most of her classes. After her first semester, she was struggling and my husband and I sat her down and calmly discussed options for her. She promised that she would do well... but now we find out her grades are worse than ever! We live on the west coast and she was attending a Christian college in a nearby state, now she is telling us that she wants to work part time and attend a community college part time in Louisiana with a couple of friends from high school. Needless to say we are shocked with the failing grades and now wanting to move (on our dime of course). When we told her we were no longer going to finance her and that she needed to pay back all the money she wasted on college, she agreed. We know that she's been secretly plotting to keep the money and move with her friends. She tells us that she has no where to go for now and needs to stay with us to save money but to top it all off she's just been plain mean. She's been acting really distant from us and has been saying unkind things about me to her friends. I don't know where this is all coming from. Whenever I try to talk to her she's rude and rolls her eyes. I don't know what to do... I'm just sick about all of this. I don't want to be taken advantage of but I don't want to leave her in a lurk because she is young and has bad judgement.
Continuation of my jerky daughter
This is a continuation of a prior post of my daughter the jerk.
My husband is out of town visiting his parents and I don't want to call him with this. It's just I don't know why I feeling like I'm being betrayed by my daughter. She is no longer planning to move to Louisiana but she is still moving out of state to be with friends. She's not talking to me about it. She's being really secretive and it upsets me because she owes us so much money for her first year college. I haven't let on that I know. I just don't know how and why she is such a phoney. I didn't raise her to be this way. She was raised with good Christian morals.
I guess I just pretend like I don't know anything until she drops the bomb on me(?) She has said so many things about me to her best friend that she hates me. She actually wrote my daughter and said that. I'm trying to play it cool. It's just that I'm the type of person who is (tactfully) honest and to the point so it is tough pretending.