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-   -   Very twisted, yet peaceful (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=89587)

  • May 5, 2007, 09:25 PM
    Sunshine2
    Very twisted, yet peaceful
    OK, I was in an abusive marriage for 5 years. My husband was basically the cycle of abuse to the hilt! During my twisted marriage, I reconnected with one of my friends from high school (a guy). My husband encouraged this relationship and would tell me to call my friend when he did not want to deal with me. He even called him my "daytime husband." Yeah, crazy huh? Anyway, as a result I developed a very close bond with this person that I do not even want to put a label on. I left the marriage, ended my friendship, and went right back into the cycle with my husband. Shortly thereafter, I woke up and realized that I was better than that and well, checked out emotionally. My husband began to see that he no longer had control over me and the result was him pushing me into the wall. Assault charges await, 50-B, etc.etc. So... I know you cannot miss what you did not have. I do have my friendhsip back with the guy I was talking about earlier. It is difficult though at times. I know that whatever happens in the future, my marriage was not healthy. I guess my question is I feel so comfortable around my friend and I always have. I do not know what my question is, answer if you do!! 1
  • May 5, 2007, 09:35 PM
    Matt3046
    So what does your "friend" say?
  • May 5, 2007, 09:40 PM
    Sunshine2
    It is not that easy. Need to get myself together, I do not feel like I can jump into something else over night. I know that friendship is safe. It is difficult but I know that true friends stick it out, no matter what the outcome.
  • May 5, 2007, 09:45 PM
    AKaeTrue
    Maybe you'd just like to talk and get some things off your chest...

    Yes, it sounds like your marriage was not healthy.
    And it's good that you realized that you're better than that and can do better for yourself.

    What is difficult at times?
    Leaving the past behind? Trusting issues?
  • May 5, 2007, 09:49 PM
    Matt3046
    1 Attachment(s)
    Attachment 3514



    Yes, friends do stik it out.
  • May 5, 2007, 09:49 PM
    AKaeTrue
    You're definitely right about not jumping right back into another relationship
    So soon.
    Friends are good.
    Take some time for you and get yourself together.
    Decide what you want out of life and a relationship
    Before dating again.

    Sound like you know what you're doing.
  • May 5, 2007, 09:51 PM
    Matt3046
    1 Attachment(s)
    Attachment 3515
  • May 6, 2007, 06:37 AM
    fix-what-you-broke
    I am glad that you found the will to get out of your marriage. And I hope you can be happy in the future.
    Your friend sounds like a good guy, someone who is willing to stick it out and see you through all this.think about it, he knows what happened and he has been there for you, he must really like you to do that. I think he understands that you are obviously going to need time to adjust to things.
    Take things slow,rediscover who you are as a person,then you can go into things with a clear head.
  • May 6, 2007, 02:47 PM
    talaniman
    After what you've been through you should take as much time as you need to heal, and get good perspective of what you want from life. You don't need to jump into anything, just enjoy your freedom, and peace.
  • May 7, 2007, 02:40 PM
    Matt3046
    Tell us about your friend.
  • May 7, 2007, 05:39 PM
    Sunshine2
    Here's the deal about my friend. First of all, he is my best friend, you know, my BFF! And he has seen it all, the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, you get the point. He makes me laugh and he is awesome! I had to "let him go" physically for awhile, but he was always close to me. He does not give himself enough credit, if only felt about himself, the way I feel about him, he could conquer the world. It is ironic because I feel more free than I have ever felt before. I am at peace with myself and know I can make myself happy alone. I still manage to see him at least once a day or I feel like I have missed out. Life is short and I am very lucky. He has become a part of me and I will never let that go again. My friend likes bugs too!!
  • May 7, 2007, 05:50 PM
    Matt3046
    2 Attachment(s)
    I see, he must be awesome.

    Attachment 3531

    And a great dancer

    Attachment 3532
  • May 7, 2007, 08:57 PM
    talaniman
    LOL Matt, you sure know how to spice a thread up.
  • May 13, 2007, 07:56 AM
    Matt3046
    Very peacefull huh?

    George Gordon, Lord Byron

    She Walks in Beauty

    1
    She walks in beauty, like the night
    Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
    And all that's best of dark and bright
    Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
    Thus mellow'd to that tender light
    Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
    2
    One shade the more, one ray the less,
    Had half impair'd the nameless grace
    Which waves in every raven tress,
    Or softly lightens o'er her face;
    Where thoughts serenely sweet express
    How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
    3
    And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
    So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
    The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
    But tell of days in goodness spent,
    A mind at peace with all below,
    A heart whose love is innocent!
  • May 13, 2007, 08:37 AM
    Sunshine2
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Matt3046
    Very peacefull huh?

    Oh yeah
  • May 19, 2007, 04:38 PM
    Matt3046
    How's twisted?
  • May 19, 2007, 05:23 PM
    Sunshine2
    Twisted is untwisted.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 04:20 PM
    Matt3046
    So what happened?

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