Four-Letter Surgery
Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm okay but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
Reasons to Leave Work
1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances.
2. Came dressed in only a towel... again.
3. Ran out of paper clips.
4. I've decided to telecommute.
5. Ambassador to Belgium is at the White House.
6. It's a long drive home to Texas.
7. One-day sale at Macy's.
8. My brain is melting!
9. I think they found me out...
10. Accidentally erased the whole week's work off the computer disk.
Three Old Men
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business'," declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'."
Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"
For The Kids...
Why did the burglar take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
What kind of fish can't swim?
Dead ones!
How do Welsh people eat cheese?
Caerphilly!
Why do polar bears have fur coats?
Because they would look silly in anoraks!
