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-   -   How do you handle your best friend's boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=89224)

  • May 4, 2007, 12:58 PM
    lilbrightmami
    How do u handle your best friend's boyfriend?
    Quite frankly, I'm tired of guys thinking that they can have sex with me and my best friend. We've been friends for almost 10 years now. What makes it so bad is that we have a bad history of going for the same guys and sometimes even fighting over them. But why is that some guys think it's OK to have sex with me and her? We're completely different in so many ways, but we're also a lot alike. If a girl has sex with guys that are friends then she is considered loose and next thing you know they'll all be trying to pass her around. But when the table is turned, it often results in the loss of friendships for girls because they feel betrayed and untrustworthy. Recently, a guy (who has been pursuing me for 3 years!) who I've become involved with over the past 6 months openly admitted that he would like to have sex with my best friend. And since we were laughing while the conversation took place, I assume that he thinks that I'm OK with it. UNACCEPTABLE!! What makes it worse is that he thought he could make it better by admitting that his 2 roommates want to have sex with me! Does he think that's OK? Although, we spoke on a non-serious note about this subject matter, I know that he's serious. We've already been on a rocky path, and this takes the cake! But the worst part about this situation is that this isn't the first time it's happened. It's happens on a regular basis (and I mean on the REGULAR!! With almost every guy either one of us has been involved with), even with the guys she's involved with. What makes guys think this is the norm?
  • May 4, 2007, 01:08 PM
    startover22
    This is a question why you and your friend think this is the norm? Not what makes guys think it is the norm... Did you ever think that you guys aren't friends at all? I know my friends wouldn't have gone near a guy I liked before or after a relationship started. In this post it sounds like you guys do this all the time. Wow, not cool sister. Self respect is probably where you might want to start and go from there. Ask yourself some serious questions. Write them down then write your answers on a separte piece of paper, be honest and if you aren't then start all over till you get an answer that you like and take it from there. As for this guy dump him, stay single till you get all this worked out for your own good. Hope you get it, and stay away from stupid people, they can only bring you down.
  • May 4, 2007, 01:16 PM
    ceriphante
    From a male perspective, honestly we are stimulated mostly visually, but if we admit openly that we'd happily partake in sexual conduct with someone it doesn't mean that we're fixated on it or going to pursue making that 'fantasy' a reality, after all a fantasy is exactly that.

    I seriously think from what you've said maybe you need to reconsider that what he's saying is actually one of the highest compliments a guy can give you, so maybe it grosses you out the thought of lots of promiscuity, maybe it turns you on who knows really I won't pretend to know, but the point I'm making is don't be mad at this guy his heart is in the right place even if he doesn't have the words to explain himself properly...

    So maybe you hear it a lot, good for you it means you're hot in the eyes of some guys.. but always remember not all.

    You know I am curious if he never admitted what he truly thinks to you
    But kept it a secret and then someday you came home to him 'involved' with your friend, which would be worse? At least if he's admitted his little fantasy to you you can just tell him ah dude dream on she thinks your a pig and then get on with your lives eh? :) heheh

    Anyway hope this was useful information...
  • May 4, 2007, 03:49 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes, I will go that if this is happening more than once, I am about the last to blame the one side, but perhaps the two of you are giving them signals that you are interested in them, Or perhaps it is the quality level of the men you are getting. But even as noted, friends don't go after the others guy, so you to have some relationship issues that need to be dealth with

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