Ask Me Help Desk - I need advice getting over my ex

I need advice getting over my ex

Hi,
I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years over a year and a half ago. Since then I've been dating a wonderful man, that loves me dearly. We recently found out that we're expecting a baby in late October. However, I still can't get my ex out of my head. I find myself crying about him all the time, and wondering what he's doing. I've tried to maintain a friendship with him, but every time we talk he just wants to talk about sex. He has a new girlfriend that he's been dating for about 8 months now, and he says he's happy... yet he still comes on to me every time we talk, which makes me think that he still cares for me and maybe will want to get back together.
I stumbled upon his girlfriends number a few months ago, and have kept it with me. I feel like calling her and telling her that her boyfriend is a liar and cheat, and not to trust him, but I know it won't make me feel better. I miss him so much, and still love him dearly.
I really want to stop thinking about him, and just move on with my new life, but for some reason I can't.
Please help me

cut him out of your life.
completely.
question for you though, when you broke up with the old b/f did you have any time off or just jump into another relationship with the new man?

as for someone talking to you about sex doesn't mean they care for you at all in fact quite the opposite if they know you have a partner and they have one too because they disrespect their own relationship, they disrespect you, and they disrespect the value of your new relationship, not only that they disrespect themselves utterly but they're usually too stupid to understand that and quite frankly people showing that level of disrespect to you don't deserve to even see you let alone talk to you, you should really deep down be angry at him for even trying that on.

anyway good luck hope the situation improves somehow and maybe I gave you another perspective to think about.

What was the reason of break up

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Messedup44]Hi,
I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years over a year and a half ago. Since then I've been dating a wonderful man, that loves me dearly. We recently found out that we're expecting a baby in late October.

Good you have a new life, that's great

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However, I still can't get my ex out of my head. I find myself crying about him all the time, and wondering what he's doing. I've tried to maintain a friendship with him, but every time we talk he just wants to talk about sex.

He either thinks you want him and he wants you physically or he is trying to scare you off.

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He has a new girlfriend that he's been dating for about 8 months now, and he says he's happy... yet he still comes on to me every time we talk, which makes me think that he still cares for me and maybe will want to get back together.

Talking about sex means just that so the part of getting back together is in your head and not his heart.

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I stumbled upon his girlfriends number a few months ago, and have kept it with me

.
That sounds like a dumb thing to do.

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I feel like calling her and telling her that her boyfriend is a liar and cheat, and not to trust him,

That would be immature and mean spirited

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but I know it won't make me feel better. I miss him so much, and still love him dearly.

No you don't it just that you have been feeding yourself a study diet of false hope, and kept in contact with him even though he has plainly disrespected you with sex talk like you are a slut or something and you think he wants you back? I don't think so.

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I really want to stop thinking about him, and just move on with my new life, but for some reason I can't.
Please help me

If you had of left him alone a year and a half ago you'd be well over him and into this wonderful new guy and your coming baby. Cut all contact and lose the exes number and leave them alone and stay out of his business, and work on the people in your life and being a good mother and trust me the misery and pain you have will be less and less. Now focus on your life and leave the past in the past.

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Originally Posted by ceriphante

cut him out of your life.
completely.
question for you though, when you broke up with the old b/f did you have any time off or just jump into another relationship with the new man?

as for someone talking to you about sex doesn't mean they care for you at all in fact quite the opposite if they know you have a partner and they have one too because they disrespect their own relationship, they disrespect you, and they disrespect the value of your new relationship, not only that they disrespect themselves utterly but they're usually too stupid to understand that and quite frankly people showing that level of disrespect to you dont' deserve to even see you let alone talk to you, you should really deep down be angry at him for even trying that on.

anyways good luck hope the situation improves somehow and maybe I gave you another perspective to think about.

(I'm not sure how to quote yet). I didn't take any time to myself, I jumped right back into another relationship. Do you think that's why I'm having such a hard time with this?

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Originally Posted by SAB123

what was the reason of break up

I ended it with him, because even though I thought we'd get married, I couldn't shake the feeling that it would end up in divorce.

Yup it's possible.. I'd seriously always recommend to anyone that is recently single to take some time off (with no flings and no bed-buddies) after a relationship to heal and to rediscover yourself a bit before you let anyone get too close again :)

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Good you have a new life, that's great
He either thinks you want him and he wants you physically or he is trying to scare you off.
Talking about sex means just that so the part of getting back together is in your head and not his heart.
.
That sounds like a dumb thing to do.

That would be immature and mean spirited

No you don't it just that you have been feeding yourself a study diet of false hope, and kept in contact with him even though he has plainly disrespected you with sex talk like you are a slut or something and you think he wants you back? I don't think so.
If you had of left him alone a year and a half ago you'd be well over him and into this wonderful new guy and your coming baby. Cut all contact and lose the exes number and leave them alone and stay out of his business, and work on the people in your life and being a good mother and trust me the misery and pain you have will be less and less. Now focus on your life and leave the past in the past.

Now that I've cut him off, I know in a few months he'll try to contact me (probably just to see how things are going). In your opinion what should I do? Be nice, tell him off, or dodge his calls?

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Originally Posted by ceriphante

yup it's possible.. i'd seriously always recommend to anyone that is recently single to take some time off (with no flings and no bed-buddies) after a relationship to heal and to rediscover yourself a bit before you let anyone get too close again :)

Now that I've cut him off, I know in a few months he'll try to contact me (probably just to see how things are going). In your opinion what should I do? Be nice, tell him off, or dodge his calls?

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'maybe in a few months we can be friends again, right now I need space'

This is the best line I have heard to cover the whole issue of what to say to an ex after a break up. Posted by ceriphante.

Sorry about the delayed response, I have been away from this site a little while..
OK keep him cut off..
Maybe change your number...
Here are some ideas some are juvenile but...

If he somehow manages to confront you; you could

1 tell him you think he's an for considering that you'd be willing to throw away the wonderful relationship you have for his little dingaling, emphasise 'little' it will make him nearly cry inside,

2 perhaps explain to him that anymore contact from him and you might happen to start contacting his partner to tell her about where he was today (even though you deleted her number its an empty threat but he might buy it)

3 explain that you've told your new partner about him and what he said, and that if he makes any further or future contact at all you'll unleash the seven foot six giant of a man you are now with on him..

4 basically the main goal of whatever you tell him is to get a CLEAR message to him which is 'you are not welcome here ever again'

Hopefully he doesn't contact you again!!

That is so right Ceriphante... I nearly was afraid... lol it should work. It's not like he was Hercules! Good luck!