My husband and I have been together 7 1/2 years, married for five years, two kids. He is long distance truck driver for past four years. I have caught him in many lies over the years. It is destroying our marriage. We agreed to go to marriage counseling. The lies were bad enough, but now it appears to me that he is interested in cheating on me. I base this on several things: his ex-girlfriend called in November 2006, when I was sitting beside him. He lied about who she was. I took his cell phone and called her back. She didn't want to give me any info, just said ask him why they were talking and she said married people talk on the phone too, but she denied that they are having an affair. He says she must have gotten his phone # from mutual acquaintance at past employer. He recently lied about staying in a hotel in NYC. I found that on bank statement. Then he denied lying about it. Now I found on the cell phone bill, that he called singles phone chatline in March. He said it was just curiosity. Also, he looks at dating/marriage internet sites out of "curiosity" a couple of times a year. I have tried the heart to heart with him, told him how much honesty means, etc. He still won't admit a problem with lying, denies having an affair, denies that his "curiosity" is a problem.:( :confused: :eek:

Look I'm sorry to say because I know its not what you nt to hear, but, unfortunately it looks like he has already cheated. I think that we as women see a lot of things that are right inour face but we choose the easy route. We choose to close our eyes to it because we won't have to deal with it. You just have to do a lot of thinking and make a decision if you want this person whom you cannot trust, for the rest of your life. Men never admit to lies and cheating because its admitting they did something wrong. I thinnk you have to take the matter into your own hands and take the buill by the horns and either demand respect and loyalty if you want to stay or grab your stuff and move on to someone that can respect and love you.
Good luck with everything and just know that we all deserve someone to love and respect us.

From your post, I can feel a lot of empathy for you. My husband ( soon to be ex-husband) is also a habitual liar. It seems like you really care about your husband and marriage and only want him to be honest with you. Unfortunately, he will never come clean with you. Are you in a position to hire a private investigator? Ultimately, this is what I had to do to get the truth and file for a divorce based on adultry. Listen, I even caught my husband with the other woman and found blood stains in the inner front of his pants. Guess what? He still tried to lie his way out of it. I'm beginning to realize that his lying is more of a mental sickness than anything else. Good luck and if he is driving a truck long distance, you'd better protect yourself. You know what I mean?

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Originally Posted by myerskribbs

My husband and I have been together 7 1/2 years, married for five years, two kids. He is long distance truck driver for past four years. I have caught him in many lies over the years. It is destroying our marriage. We agreed to go to marriage counseling. The lies were bad enough, but now it appears to me that he is interested in cheating on me. I base this on several things: his ex-girlfriend called in November 2006, when I was sitting beside him. He lied about who she was. I took his cell phone and called her back. She didn't want to give me any info, just said ask him why they were talking and she said married people talk on the phone too, but she denied that they are having an affair. He says she must have gotten his phone # from mutual acquaintance at past employer. He recently lied about staying in a hotel in NYC. I found that on bank statement. Then he denied lying about it. Now I found on the cell phone bill, that he called singles phone chatline in March. He said it was just curiosity. Also, he looks at dating/marriage internet sites out of "curiosity" a couple of times a year. I have tried the heart to heart with him, told him how much honesty means, etc. He still won't admit a problem with lying, denies having an affair, denies that his "curiosity" is a problem.:( :confused: :eek:

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Sounds like he cheats on you.

Ask yourself: is this what you want for your children and yourself ?
Is marriage counseling does not work and a husband does these things... well, what can one do ?

I am all for fighting for a marriage.. but there are limits... it takes two to tango.

Good luck.

You deserve a man who loves and respects you.
And treats you that way.