I have suffered panic disorder and depression for over 22 yrs now. I just got out of an abusive relationship of 8 years, I have not contacted this man but he is making me so sad because he stopped the car as I was walking and he said (like the past 4 months we are apart never happened) "I have a class reunion coming up and wondered since I have no one else to go with if you wanted to go" I got enraged I said "YOu didnt take me to mine and you have the nerve to ask me? Well I had a huge attack because then he started rambling how this woman I know was with him before I was and blah blah blah. I was wondering to myself WHY is he telling me NOW>? HE is no prize as I found out he slept with the entire neighborhood and every female I know. But anyway he kept mentioning that I know this woman and if I knew who she was I would be shocked so I said ok then spill it already who is she? To that he just said "it don't matter it happened a long time ago before you there's no reason to tell you now".
Now I am wondering what is going on here>?
I have NOT BOTHERED HIM in any way shape or form for 4 months and as im walking he pulls over the car and starts yapping all this crap to me.
WELL for the past 3 nights now I am wracking my brains as to WHO this female was. I got so MAD that he HURT ME AGAIN that I called him a pig and lost my temper and had to walk away.
Look I was there for him for 8 years all thru his drug abuses and rehabs and hospital stays and we broke up because he ordered me not to talk to his friend steven OR ELSE it would be over with us. SO I told him I will continue to speak to Steven since he did no harm to me and he was always truthful to me.
So that ended 8years when a few days later his sons girlfriend who is more than half my age went nuts in the house went to hit me swore at me and I told my boyfriend this is your house and you just stand here while this kid is swearing at me and going to hit me?
His reply well its my sons girl.
OK then IM out of here I wasnt staying there. I know she was doing something drugs and she just flew off the handle as she said to me as I walked upstairs "get the &*( out of here you don't belong upstairs I was like I been here 8 years you just moved in months ago what is the matter with you?/?
She is very abusive to the son as well. Anyway my question is why just when things start to settle down for me must he get in touch via letter phone or whatever and say things he knows is going to hurt me? Trust me I have not contacted him I just told him hey Im out of here I won't be disrespected by this kid its your house Im with you 8 years and you should have told her either she shows respect for me or she gets out of your house. But no he did nothing and right there that showed me my worst fear... he really didn't love me he just used me... sold all my jewelry... stole all my money... and gave it all the money to his drug dealers. If that had happened in MY PLACE I would have told the kid listen Im with him 8 years YOU are a GUEST in my house and since you disrespected my boyfriend you may now LEAVE or at least apologize.
But nothing. I felt for the past 3 years there was no love there that he was using me but it hurt me too much to acknowledge that fact so I figured I can't throw this relationship away its been 5 6 7 then 8 years. I felt I put so much into him so much into it all that I couldn't let it go even when he constantly stlole my medicines and I had none and my money and all the the jewelry.
Well my question is why does he have to HURT me just when I start to settle down and this doesn't kill my heart>?
I didn't even call the police when he hit me. Well anyway...
The panic is out of control as is the deep depression that is now engulphing me.
I don't even want to get out of bed...