I have been with my husband for almost 8 years and married for about 3 of those years got with him when I was 16 and he was 21 I do love him but I am tired of him he has been verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive to me but mostly verbally abusive and it hurts me so much but I always stay with him. But we have a really deep past he was in the military for 4 years out of our relationship and while he was gone I was young and cheated on him more then once and he stayed with me and wanted me to do a threesome with him to make up for it and I didn't we then had 2 kids since then and he says he is over what I did to him and he cheated on me too a couple times never had sex (he says) but anyway I think because he has been so mean to me and I have been so mean to him I just feel burned out and I do treat him good now I do everything that a wife should do for his husband but I hate having sex with him but whenever I get the courage to leave him I am always weak and take him back because he says he will try and he will start caring about me more and he never does and I feel bad for the kids I feel like I should try to make my family work no matter what but I am not happy with him but he is my first love and I have been with him for so ling I do not know what to do?? And he smokes majuania all day everyday and I hate that and he will not stop for me /// please help me and what I should do?? :(

What do you think you should do?

You have your own answers, you just want us to tell you your right based on the story you gave us.

There is always two sides of the story, but since we only have yours. That is all we have to go by.

GET A DIVORCE. Never stay with somebody if your being emotionally and physically abused.

Joe

If he is phsyically abusive, he will be again, and emotionall abusive is worst in some ways.

Unless he is willing to go to counseling and try and work on your relationship, for your own safety you need to leave, ( personal opinion) using very general info and completely perosnal opinion.

Dear really confused,
I am wandering why did you get involved at such an early age with this adult? (16yr vs 21)? I suppose that many mistakes were made because of the age difference. Regardless of what happened in the past, it is your present situation that baffles me. I have two words for you "Get Out!" You must realize that you and your children's safety is what matters now and nothing else. You made the statement that you wanted to make it work no matter what. Let me ask you a question. Is your life or your childrens' lives worth living. Now, I don't know the whole story but I do know that the ground is filled with woman who keep giving emotional/physically abusive drug addicted control freaks chance after chance. You better wake up, honey. This is not a fairy tale and he certainly is no knight in shining amour. By the way, I would hate sex too if I was being physically and emtionally torn down.

Omg How Many Tv Shows Do You See With This In It! An Abusive Relationship Get Out!! I Don't Know Why You Wasted Your Time Typing This Post Asking What You Should Do When You Could Have Been Packing Your Bags!! You Have Two Children Get Them Out Of There... tisk Tisk...
It Shouldn't Even Matter If You Love Him And Would Do Anything For Him, Or Even If He Had All The Money In The World... an Abusive Relationship... use Your Head!!

Tisk Tisk Stupid!! Its Right In Front Of You He Smokes Pot! Like Hello!! He Isn't Guna Stop For You!! Or Your Kids!! He Is A Self Absorbed Arsehole!! Leave Girl Run Like The Wind Bullseye!! Run Forest Run!!
Good Luck

I am so confused this is so crazy on how I feel I am so sad without him I know I am doing the right thing by leaving but I feel really really sad and depressed and like I am going to go crazy with out him when will this feeling pass
And not he says he does not want to help with the kids he tells me he does not want anything to do with me and my kids he said... and even after all that I still feel sad and I still in a way want him back and I want to call him I am having a really really hard time how do I stop feeling like this??

You can be abused forever, or you can be sad for now and find peace and happiness later. Get out and find peace and happiness. Your still young.

I totally agree with you I am just having a really hard time right now with it I just can not get rid of this feeling that I have right now
Thank you I am trying my hardest to get through it I think I will be strong enough

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freaked out

i am so confused this is so crazy on how I feel I am so sad without him I know I am doing the right thing by leaving but i feel really really sad and depressed and like I am going to go crazy with out him when will this feeling pass
and not he says he does not want to help with the kids he tells me he does not want anything to do with me and my kids he said.... and even after all that i still feel sad and I still in a way want him back and I want to call him I am having a really really hard time how do I stop feeling like this???????

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Hey are you the same user that wrote the original post cause your user name is different... I will say one thing though... I was once told a reason why I couldn't leave my ex and when I did why I felt so depressed was because I loved him and even if there was abuse in the relationship, there was the fact that it was my comfort and security zone... you have been with him for a while and you have it in your head (maybe) that he is your security and comfort,, I did and when I finally realised that in an abusive relationship there is no comfort or security I moved on... it was the best thing I've ever done in my life...
Good luck to you in every aspect...

As far as I know there are two different posters on this thread, the original poster,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1421076
And freaked out, from their stories its easy to be confused.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1421085

Yea I am the same user

I'm not going to ask, why the confusion, yes I am. Why the confusion??