I have been married for 8 years and I have beautiful children with this man, but my past keeps haunting me. I was in a relationship 10 years ago and he was very abusive mentally, as well as being physically abusive. He didn't start that way though. He was never abusive at all until his grandpa died and he started to drink a lot. Then the abuse came. Our relationship ended with him crying and me leaving. Since then, I moved on to bigger and better things, yet I have not been able to rid myself of him. I dream about him touching me and loving me... I have forgiven him for the things he did to me, but I don't think he knows that. He has had a large amount of bad luck and I am thinking that what goes around comes around. My theory is that if I could find him and tell him that I have forgiven him, then maybe any bad luck that I have brought his way will leave and I can finally be rid of him for good. Please comment I am not sure of what to do.

Don't beat yourself up, or dwell on the past too much, as its so normal to take a long time to heal. After 8 years, your bound to have certain memories pop into your head a lot. Focus on your children and building a life that you are happy with, and you will eventually start feeling much better, and more in control. Give yourself a break and realize that you have a lot to recover from, and it takes a long time.