I have been dating my buff for a yr, and in the beginning it was a very good relationship, he's 57 and I'm 40, he has stopped calling me, taking me out, and when I ask him if he is gonia take me out, he will say, I don't know or he will tell me yes, then break the date a day or 2 before, he has told me that he needs some space, that he wants to keep his options open, that he felt pressured, when I ask him if he wants to talk about it, he gets upset and saids doesn't care to talk about it, I have stopped calling him as much, and stopped asking him to see me anymore, but he told me he loves me and doesn't want to lose me, that his problem is based on the way his x wife treated him, he saids he is scared of getting hurt, but I am also, I told him I am taking the same chance at getting hurt as he is, I have asked him if he feels it would be better if we just broke up, but he saids now where did you get that from, due! I wonder. He took me to his apartment a couple of weeks ago, and his phone rang, and he didn't want to pick it up when I was in the room, but when I went to a different room, I heard him talking to someone, then I heard him say ill call you back later, I ask him who it was, he said his daughter in law, I also caught him deleting deleting on his computer, and when I ask him what he was doing he said nothing, I seen a woman's name on his list, I ask him about her and he makes up excuses, I ask him if he's cheating on me and he saids no, he won't tell me the truth about anything, maybe I should just leave him and move on!

Well, I say - go with your gut. If you feel that he is cheating on you, or doesn't love you, and he is backing off from you, then all you can do is give him his space and either move on yourself or wait for him. Personally, when I read things like "he wants his space", "he wants to keep his options open" and "he won't tell me the truth about anything" the warning bells are going off.

I think the best thing to do is give him his space, let him keep his options open and move on. If and when he gets past that and decides he wants a relationship, then you will see if you are still ready. To me, sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. You need to look after you, first. If he isn't ready and wants space and options and that isn't what you want - move on!

Hope this helps.

Hugs, Didi

What the hell, he's 57 and he sounds like twenty-five year old.

Forget his words, his actions speak volumes, and the last thing you need is to put any eggs in his basket. Move on and cut your losses.