For the past year or so, I have been growing further and further apart from a friend to whom I was really close to before. I have finally accepted that the friendship is dead, over, finito, no chance of going back. We see each other at common events and act very civilized.
I found out last night that my gang wanted to surprise me with something and that they asked for her help (because of the circumstances, she was the only one who would have been able to pull it off). And no one knows that we are no longer joined at the hip. She declined.
After the event was over and the surprise was revealed (I already knew last week) I asked her if they'd asked for her help. She said that yes, but that she didn't think it was THAT important I didn't find out. (The head of the organization and about 6 other people who worked on the ruse did).
The positive thing is that it touched my heart how so many people were trying to keep me from finding something out and for this I will forever be grateful.
Now here's the negative: My feelings have changed from mourning a lost friendship to acceptance but now it's HATE... and I don't like how I feel. I've had all these thoughts of "revenge" on my head... don't worry, nothing criminal or that would really hurt anyone (more like really silly things that would be embarrassing but hamrless) but it's not like me. How do I deal with this? Is this normal and something that will also pass??
She keeps being "cordial"... even yesterday when she told me her feelings on the surprise... it's weird..
I can't not see this person because our kids go to the same school and we are in the same fundraiser committee... which I'm not willing to quit as it's my passion.
