I had prayed and prayed and prayed to talk to a very important person today. I was scared out of my mind; I felt like throwing up, and it was the first time I was brave in my stupid life. And this person wasn't even there. Everything was thrown back in my face, and now, I am overwhelmed like never before, and I doubt very much I can take this!! I want to die!!

There is no way I can get in contact with this person either.
I don't know what to do, but all I want to do is hurt my stupid coward self

What or who are you talking about? Someone who you love or someone who has hurt you? A missed chance is always so hard to get over, you will come through. Give us more info so maybe we can give you some suggestions. How was this thrown back in your face? Oh goodness, what is the story glory?

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Originally Posted by meecy12

I had prayed and prayed and prayed to talk to a very important person today. i was scared out of my mind; i felt like throwing up, and it was the first time i was brave in my stupid life. And this person wasn't even there. Everything was thrown back in my face, and now, i am overwhelmed like never before, and i doubt very much i can take this!!!!!!!!! i wanna die!!!!!!

there is no way i can get in contact with this person either.
i dunno what to do, but all i want to do is hurt my stupid coward self

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There will be other opportunities, this has happened for a reason, maybe it is to give you a chance to think about it before you do it, to think about the consequences it may have, how it could change your life. If you still intend to do it then plan it better, take deep breaths and work out a foolproof plan of meeting them and by the way what would hurting yourself achieve, it will just make you feel even worse, prepare yourself for that day, it won't be long before you get your chance again. Take care, love and peace Anne x

Listen to me carefully as I have been following your story, please go talk to a trusted adult immediately as I think you are feeling a lot of pain and can be helped tremendously with the proper care and treatment. You must tell someone who can help, and whom you trust, your entire story. Act now.

Who was it you wanted to get in contact with ?

There are many people who can help you, a school counselor, a teacher, a minsiter, there are a lot of people who can and will be there to help you if you will just give them a chance.

It sounds like you are a totally good person with a great big heart. I think the person you went to see lost out on meeting you. I don't think it was your loss . I used to hate myself and the whole world so bad that I prayed that I would die, until I had a realistic dream that God told me he was answering my prayers and I had 1 hour to say goodby.
But anyway, besides all that, I learned that other people shouldn't be able to control me. Or bring me down. (well they couldn't do that, I was already to far down). But anyway, yea, I would like to talk to you sometime, it sounds like we got a lot in common. My name is michele

Just calm down meecy. I have been in your position many times in my life when I wanted and needed to talk to a certain person and the chance blew up in my face and I knew I would never get it again. I have went through a lot of crap in my life recently and I have thought about hurting myself many times. You have to realize though that problems will get better with time. Every time I think about how bad I have it and all the bull going on in my life, "why me! why me!" I always stop and think, "Hey, there is someone else out there with a lot worse problems than what I have." So what I'm saying to you is stop being so hard on yourself and quit being emo. It will just bring you down more and more until you can't get up. Trust me I know from experience. Take care.

More detail would help me understand what exactly you are talking about

Wow, mate, calm down, no need to hurt yourself, trust me, it only takes a second to make a scar, but a scar will last a lifetime (believe me, I have the scars on my wrist and chest to prove it)
You mite hate yourself now, but why should you hate yourself? Why is it your fault? Why are you a coward? Its not your fault if that person wasn't there, as long as you had the courage to talk to them, its not your fault if talking to them was impossible.
Things can often get thrown back in your face, I know, because one person who I adore and admire, who I would die for, has stuck by me, as my friend, and been supportive of me, no matter what I've done, and I threw it back in her face by breaking of the friendship, and still she's forgiven me, so try do the same, if she can persevere even when I threw all her best efforts back in her face , I'm sure you can persevere and thrive when life throws your best efforts back in your face. Good luck mate, I believe you can get past this and prosper.