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-   -   Girls dumpers will say anything I got fed these anyone heard any of these? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=86417)

  • Apr 25, 2007, 11:37 PM
    mckenzie134
    Girls dumpers will say anything I got fed these anyone heard any of these?
    1. Your parents are divorce!
    2. Where just at different stages in our lives
    3. Im not emotionally in love with you
    4. You're the best boyfriend but I'm just not ready (after 3 1/2 years wow!! ) She was 22
    5. Any girl would be so lucky to have you
    6.Your so hot
    7. Maybe I'm making a mistake.
    8. Im confused. (If she's confused she wouldn't be breaking up she knows what she wants)
    9. Im sure you'll find someone else.
    10. I just don't want to be in a relationship that is so serious at the moment.
    11. I want to get to know myself
    12. The break might make us stronger.
    13. You don't believe in god!! (Now come on just cause she went to church)
    14. We are just to different


    After all this was said we were back together two weeks later and she was so keen...
    Yet five months down the track and she dumped me again

    New excuses were.

    1. I just need to be by myself and be happy with myself
    2. She relies on me too much!!
    3. Im her whole life she needs time to find herself
    4. The break may be good for us both and make us a better couple
    5. I don't know if the love I feel for you is what its like to be with someone forever.
    6. Im happy sometimes but should be happy all the trime.
    7. I should miss you everyday. (This is the reason I think she left spent too much time toghether)
    8. I think your so hot and I'm probably making a huge mistake
    9. Im so confussed


    Well anyone know what all this crap means who would come up with so many excuses. And to top it off we were together a week before and she was saying we are destined to be together... So up and down maybe its just me being to available one week and busy the next... Then again maybe after three and a half years she just wasn't that keen on me.

    Tried to work it out but done my head in wondering when the best thing to do is NOTHING and let her work herself out. Took me 5 weeks to work out that the ball is not in my court so why am I trying to hit it, it hasn't been served yet and until it has been I can't have a crack at it!!

    Its been so hard to watch a girl who was so keen when you saw her less change when you give her a bit more. Yet from the experts on here less is more and if it was working for mw I should have just stuck to what was working. Yet not to be harsh on myself there were a few times in the relationship when she said do you think we should just be friends.

    Any help??
  • Apr 26, 2007, 12:07 AM
    Bluerose
    I don’t think keeping notes and chalking up every remark can be helping. How many girls were there exactly? Does each remark belong to a different girl?

    I have a little something that I take note of… When I am shopping and one checkout person is a bit off with me, I assume she must be having a bad day. But if the next three checkout people are a bit off with me I have to begin to wonder if it is me who is doing something to piss them off.

    We can be doing something that we are unaware of which puts people off us and if they are nice people they struggle to tell us what the real problem is so they come out with all this rubbish, like you wrote above.

    In most cases they are simply trying to save your feelings. You could ask to have an honest chat and give them the chance to come clean. And don’t take it too personally look at any feedback in a positive constructive way. It might just be what you need to be aware of in order for the next relationship to work.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 02:35 AM
    Jiser
    1) I need space
    2) We want different things
    3) I see you more as a friend
    4) Its not you its me
    5) I think its best we had a break
    6) I don't know what I want
    7) Ill probably regret it
    8) Just want to go out and have fun
    9) I guess I am bord of the situation
  • Apr 26, 2007, 06:28 AM
    SAB123
    1) You're the perfect guy (If I'm so perfect then why do you keep breaking up with me?)
    2) We can't give each other what we want (I gave and did everything for her and her son?)
    3) You never loved me (Thats why I spent $7000 on engagement ring that you still have?)
    4) You never planned on marrying me any ways ( That why I gave you $2000.00 for boobs that I only saw once. And that was after break) She must of have felt guily?
    5) You need to date others to see if I'm the one ( That a good one? )
    6) You never dated someone serious before?
    7) I'm to old for you.

    Here are some of her exuses when my ex broke up with me (5 times)
  • Apr 26, 2007, 06:32 AM
    SAB123
    She don't knows what she wants I would move on and fast. You'll be her door mat just like my ex did with me.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 06:52 AM
    missk
    She just wants to be with you when she feels the need to and your right there behind her waggin your tail. She's not worth it and more than likely won't change because she knows you won't change either. In my opinion I think you should let her go-for good.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 06:55 AM
    missk
    You've got to stop worrying about her and start worrying about yourself. You are looking to her to make you happy and that is not going to happen. Stop playing games with her and let her go-it's not healthy. This is in response to reading your other posts.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 06:55 AM
    Jiser
    Shoot her ! And enjoy it :)
  • Apr 26, 2007, 06:56 AM
    Bluerose
    Guys,

    Translated it means, “This isn't what I want any more! You're not what I want anymore! It's over so go away!”

    Hope that wasn't too harsh. But we (men and women) are cowards! It's such a shame that people who come right out with "It's over, I don't love you anymore." get called rude jerks when they are just being honest.

    I prefer the straight talking. At least that way you know where you stand. And you don't waste time mooning over her or him and spend too much time daydreaming about them coming crawling to ask you back.

    Let them go guys. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

    It's life as you know it, chaps! Enjoy!
  • Apr 26, 2007, 07:00 AM
    missk
    The reason they don't come right out and tell them is because they still want to keep them hanging around so they have something to fall back on. They want to have their cake and eat it too. They aren't honest because they are selfish.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 07:04 AM
    Jiser
    Yeah cake and eat it! ITS ALL OVER THE PLACE. Fck them
  • Apr 26, 2007, 07:12 AM
    Bluerose
    "The reason they don't come right out and tell them is because they still want to keep them hanging around so they have something to fall back on. They want to have their cake and eat it too. They aren't honest because they are selfish."

    If that's the case then I feel sorry for these women who don't yet realise just how short time is and how much of it they are wasting by going around dangling carrots in front of guys they are not planning to invest any real time in. All the more reason for the guys to move on and find someone who really appreciates the qualities in them that keep bringing these other women back again and again.

    Guys, give them a shock next time they call or turn up at your door by saying, “No. Not today. Thank you.”
  • Apr 26, 2007, 07:18 AM
    SAB123
    That's what I'm going to do if that happens. I'm going to tell her you're the most selfish person I have ever met and you used me so get lost.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 07:26 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Well anyone know what all this crap means who would come up with so many excuses.
    It means she is to young and immature, to know how she feels, or what to do about what she feels. Not your fault you just caught her to young to know better. Remember though you are as inexperienced as she is, to some extent and you don't know what to do about her feelings either. Not really her fault, as you haven't learned... yet what to do. It's a part of growing up and learning who you are and what your about. A very emotional time in young peoples lives.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 08:05 AM
    missk
    Well Talaniman I have to spread reputation before rating you answer. I agree with you on that. It's a part of growing up and learning who you are-very confusing time and very emotional time trying to find yourself.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 08:20 AM
    VADawg
    I hate excuses because they are usually never true. Like my ex gave me the "It's not you, it's me and I'm so busy with other stuff that I can't be in serious relationship right now" excuse. It was all BS and I found out she's going out with some 21 year old guy. Don't believe the crap women feed you. I'd rather they be straightforward and honest so I can move on with my life.
  • Apr 26, 2007, 04:44 PM
    mckenzie134
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    It means she is to young and immature, to know how she feels, or what to do about what she feels. Not your fault you just caught her to young to know better. Remember though you are as inexperienced as she is, to some extent and you don't know what to do about her feelings either. Not really her fault, as you haven't learned ........yet what to do. Its a part of growing up and learning who you are and what your about. A very emotional time in young peoples lives.


    Yes you are right she was too young, just when I kept my distance and only saw her twice a week she was so in love then gave her a couple more days and she said it's a bit boring??
  • Apr 27, 2007, 10:21 AM
    SAB123
    When My Ex First broke up with me this was her best way in her mind to do it. She told me that she was going to quit smoking and not to call her for a couple of weeks. So after about 5 days I called because I missed her, then over phone said " I want to break up with you" and hung phone up. Months later she finally told me that we want to different things. But never asked me what I wanted, she decided for me. Then I guess she decided that we did want the same things because she came back>Love is blind.
  • Apr 27, 2007, 10:39 AM
    diya
    When someone says things like these, they're sometimes just trying to figure out the depth of love u have for them... problem lies in expectations they might have from life and people in general... nothing to get worked up about... sit back and relax... life is meant to be enjoyed... watch TV or something and those who say leave me, confront them, explain to them and still if they persist then as they say... MOVE ON with no pretentions or ifs and buts...

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