My husband of 17 years and 5 children had an affair for 3 years not ongoing. I want to know how to get over the affair itself but mostly the wanting of another woman. He says he loves and doesn't want to lose me hard to believe. We are seeing a counselor I just have huge doubts. He wanted another woman.
Please help

He may well have not really "wanted another women" but may well have had doubts over his own manhood, he most likely had not had ladies flirting with him as much as he got older, and he was felling OLDER, not all, but a lot of men after so many years of marriage and after getting a certain age, start feeling like they are losing their "manhood" and then go do stupid things. And often he had more to do with the attention they got, than the other person or the sex.

I can't tell you how to get over it, that is something you have to work out with yourself. But the fact he is going to counseling is a real sign he wants to work it out, Most men who don't care, would never go to counseling.