Hi, all,

So as the title says, I'm 26 and I am having trouble with dating. I went through high school, college and grad school meeting girls who were attracted only to losers and guys who treat them like crap, and I figured by now women would have outgrown that phase, but at my age most women still pass me up for the guy whose greatest accomplishment is driving back to the frat house after downing 15 shots of Jaeg at the club without being pulled over.

I'm 26, good-looking (I've been called an "easy 8", but let's just say I'm not ugly), fit (5x a week lifting or running at the gym, play soccer twice a week), well-educated, wear clean clothes, I comb my hair, shower daily and have all my teeth. I'm not a jerk, I have a sense of humor and I love my mom. I have money and will have much more of it because I will have a kickass job starting this summer. I hold doors open for women, compliment their earrings and look them in the eyes when we talk--and I'm a great listener.

Despite all this, I'm still losing out to assistant managers at Circuit City driving Civics on chrome rims making 12 bucks an hour whose lifelong dream is to have sex with a girl from every state in the contiguous 48.

What gives? When do women grow out of the "bad boy" phase? Do they ever want a "marriageable" guy?

I have a feeling if your patient, and get away from the college types, then you'll be running into a different class of females that work for a living and have a better handle on what they want from life.

Well what type of women are you drawn to. If all of the women you are looking and seeking go after the wrong type of guy, perhaps you need to update the type of women you are looking for.

And what about some what I can random dating, no long time, just ask out about every girl you meet for a few weeks, and try dating girls with different backgrounds than you may normally date.
But it like many things is also a numbers game, where you date a lot of different people and expand your outlooks

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Originally Posted by huno

but at my age most women still pass me up for the guy whose greatest accomplishment is driving back to the frat house after downing 15 shots of Jaeg at the club without being pulled over.

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Hey bro,

I am in the SAME boat (24, though). You must live in Atlanta!

I think the deal is, for me at least, for the longest time I was still hanging out where the college kids go. That's where all the pretty ladies were. But, then again, that's where all the immature folks are. It's hard to let go of college and the fun had there and change over to a different style. But, face it, we don't have classes with those people anymore, we aren't going to Chaz's kegger on Thursday night, because we have to wake at 6:00, so it's harder to find a common ground when talking anyway.

Ahhh... and thus, the Wednesday Night Drinking Club was born. I'm not a big drinker--so it's not for me. BUT, it is a place to meet folks our age who are in the same boat. I don't know where you live, but most big cities have this club. I don't condone meeting a lush who drinks every Wednesday night religiously, but it is a place to meet some new people.

I very much agree with Fr Chuck about branching out. Date girls you never thought you would. I just took out an art major from my university (graduated when I did). She is VERY different than I, but hey, it's a new friend. And someone to take to dinner, rather than me sit around the apartment.

Go to bars and restaurants you usually would not. Don't worry that you'll be missing the sorority girls at "Bird Dog's watering pit." You have a crap time around them anyhoo at this point.

In Atlanta, all the pretty AND respectable girls go out to eat for most of the night. It's "cosmo" to get all dressed up and go to dinner and talk and have some wine. I don't meet those same girls at bars. I don't know where they go after dinner. You go find out and tell me.

Oh---yeah, this is pretty lame, but you can find girls at coffee shops (many of them go in hopes of finding a respectable guy), bookstores (?? Beats me, man), and that sort of thing. Go say hi.

I agree with the others. I think your problem may be that you're looking for love in all the wrong places.

Try the book store... I meet people there all the time. We swap information about good books. I tend to meet guys in the grocery store. Look lost and ask advice of some pretty girl. Join a dance class. Volunteer. Do something OTHER than what you normally do.

Plus... those guys that you're talking about? They ask girls out. And keep asking. If a girl says no to you, then ask the NEXT girl. They won't ALL say no.

Most of us women DID straighten out by 25 or so. Keep looking. She's out there.

Thanks for your replies. For the record, no, I'm not in Atlanta, but the problem is widespread enough that I can relate. :)

I feel a bit better now, but I still think that this attraction towards worthless, parasitic men is innate in 99.9% of the female population and persists well beyond dating age, ensuring the downfall of man as we know it.

(Okay, it's probably not that bad, but you get my point.)

I did meet one girl a few days ago at the gym who seems all there. Coincidentally, she's not in college and never went. We hit it off pretty well. We'll see...

But I keep coming back to the idea that the majority of girls that I meet just don't "get it." I do meet girls who are in their mid-20s and they're still dating guys who treat them like complete garbage.

Just a few days ago I decided to ask out one girl my friends and I have known for a while and I was rejected. No big deal...

... until a week later I see her getting close with this guy in our group. He's not a terribly bad guy, not very good-looking, just kind of a normal guy--when he's sober. My female friends have complained that this guy feels them up when he's drunk and pretty much everyone knows about it. So she KNOWS about this and she's still okay with being with him.

And all I can think about is, "Why HIM? and not ME?!"

[/rant]

I have been looking for a guy like you for a long time. Where do you live and what are your digits ;)

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Originally Posted by Inspired

I have been looking for a guy like you for a long time. Where do you live and what are your digits ;)

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Haha, I'm with her! I promise you there are girls out there who either A) realized beforehand what they really wanted and are searching for that or B) have burned bad enough by the bad guys that they know what to look for now.
You sound like a really good guy. Promise you won't settle, because then we good girls can rest easily on the fact that decent guys are still out there somewhere.

You didn't say how old the women you date are, but I suspect you may be going for too young women. Many, but not all women under 30 are quite immature and often date guys who are losers. My advice would be to only date women your own age or a few years older. Worked for me. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by earl237

You didn't say how old the women you date are, but I suspect you may be going for too young women. Many, but not all women under 30 are quite immature and often date guys who are losers. My advice would be to only date women your own age or a few years older. Worked for me. Good luck.

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Well, I do try to date girls around my age; I'm 26, they're usually 23-27.

What bugs me is that I would have thought that, after they turn 21 or 22 or so, they'd have things figured out. But no--they insist on sleeping with the dumbest, most disrespectful guys they can possibly find. It just makes no sense to me why girls would consistently go out with guys that do them no good.

What compounds the problem is that getting older isn't helping. By my age, girls I meet are usually married, stuck with two kids from two different dads, or still haven't learned anything...

Man, I thought CA would be a lot better than that "im 23 and need to get married" attitude. What the hell happened to all the hippies?

Guess it's NOT just the southeast.

Bummer.

Stop looking for Miss Perfect and just have fun dating.

The way you look at yourself as a perfect human being is the problem of yourself. It'd be interesting to see what is your dating standards hun?;)
Tell us, let's see if we can help you out more,okay?

huno,
You haven't been lucky enough to find that type of girl, but trust me there are many around - younger or older. It's not because we're 20 or 21 that we're in that "bad boy" phase. Marriageable guys are hard to find!
You might just be falling for the wrong type, all the time, huh?

Wow, how'd this thread get resurrected? :)

Anyway... I used to be picky... not so much, and it was never so much about the looks but rather about who she is. I am attracted to girls who are more mature, have their head on straight, ambitious and driven... girls who can basically take care of themselves and don't need a boyfriend but choose to have one to make their lives better, because that's the same reason I would like a GF. I have my own thing going, I have my goals to accomplish, and whomever I end up with should be the same; we'd support each other, keep each other in check, share life, love, emotion, all that...

I believe I'm marriageable, but I'm wondering if I'm dateable...

Funny story, though: so yesterday I help my mom at work (she cleans office buildings) and so we have to return her boss's supplies at her house (her boss is a lady, and she was out on vacation). We knock on the door and the lady's 21-year-old daughter comes out. We locked eyes for a moment... she had very cute eyes (among other things ;)).

Anyway, later my mom comes into my room and she says, "Oh, my boss was on the phone. Her daughter called her and asked who you were; she thinks your handsome and she was ashamed she was in her pajamas when she met you! My boss wants to set you two up."

Now, this caught me off-guard. Her boss (that is, this girl's mom) is giving her daughter away to me (well, not so much like that, but you get the point)! It's always the same thing: the girl's MOTHER adores me... but what about the girl?

"But I have to tell you, son: she has a boyfriend."

"Oh, really? Then why does she want to set me up with her?"

"My boss says he's a loser and he wants you to steal her away from him."

So it's ON now. ;)

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Originally Posted by huno

Wow, how'd this thread get resurrected? :)

Anyway... I used to be picky... not so much, and it was never so much about the looks but rather about who she is. I am attracted to girls who are more mature, have their head on straight, ambitious and driven... girls who can basically take care of themselves and don't need a boyfriend but choose to have one to make their lives better, because that's the same reason I would like a GF. I have my own thing going, I have my goals to accomplish, and whomever I end up with should be the same; we'd support each other, keep each other in check, share life, love, emotion, all that...

I believe I'm marriageable, but I'm wondering if I'm dateable...

Funny story, though: so yesterday I help my mom at work (she cleans office buildings) and so we have to return her boss's supplies at her house (her boss is a lady, and she was out on vacation). We knock on the door and the lady's 21-year-old daughter comes out. We locked eyes for a moment.... she had very cute eyes (among other things ;)).

Anyway, later my mom comes into my room and she says, "Oh, my boss was on the phone. Her daughter called her and asked who you were; she thinks your handsome and she was ashamed she was in her pajamas when she met you! My boss wants to set you two up."

Now, this caught me off-guard. Her boss (that is, this girl's mom) is giving her daughter away to me (well, not so much like that, but you get the point)! It's always the same thing: the girl's MOTHER adores me... but what about the girl?

"But I have to tell you, son: she has a boyfriend."

"Oh, really? Then why does she want to set me up with her?"

"My boss says he's a loser and he wants you to steal her away from him."

So it's ON now. ;)

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Good luck to you! :)

You already sound lucky this time. :p

But beware, her mom might be using you. :confused: How can she decide whom her daughter is going to date?

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Originally Posted by kristynn

Good luck to you! :)

You already sound lucky this time. :p

But beware, her mom might be using you. :confused: How can she decide whom her daughter is gonna date?

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Thanks. I'll need it. I find my greatest competition comes not from my compatriots but from exactly those on the lower ends of the food chain. Morons have this way of getting girls to think they're the greatest guys in the world.

What her mom said was that her BF has no ambition, no drive. I take it to mean he works at Taco Bell or something.

Anyway, the girl seems mildly interested... of course the mom wants her to date me. I'm young, in good shape (her daughter's an athlete, too), I'm college-educated and I have a great job waiting for me (my mom makes it a point to brag to anyone who'll listen that she has a son with a Master's in Computer Science and a job at a big company... I won't say which but it's a great company to work for).

Of course, it's still my job to seduce this girl. This will take all of my skill... I'm guessing her BF must be one royally lazy bum.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by huno

Wow, how'd this thread get resurrected? :)

Anyway... I used to be picky... not so much, and it was never so much about the looks but rather about who she is. I am attracted to girls who are more mature, have their head on straight, ambitious and driven... girls who can basically take care of themselves and don't need a boyfriend but choose to have one to make their lives better, because that's the same reason I would like a GF. I have my own thing going, I have my goals to accomplish, and whomever I end up with should be the same; we'd support each other, keep each other in check, share life, love, emotion, all that...

I believe I'm marriageable, but I'm wondering if I'm dateable...

Funny story, though: so yesterday I help my mom at work (she cleans office buildings) and so we have to return her boss's supplies at her house (her boss is a lady, and she was out on vacation). We knock on the door and the lady's 21-year-old daughter comes out. We locked eyes for a moment.... she had very cute eyes (among other things ;)).

Anyway, later my mom comes into my room and she says, "Oh, my boss was on the phone. Her daughter called her and asked who you were; she thinks your handsome and she was ashamed she was in her pajamas when she met you! My boss wants to set you two up."

Now, this caught me off-guard. Her boss (that is, this girl's mom) is giving her daughter away to me (well, not so much like that, but you get the point)! It's always the same thing: the girl's MOTHER adores me... but what about the girl?

"But I have to tell you, son: she has a boyfriend."

"Oh, really? Then why does she want to set me up with her?"

"My boss says he's a loser and he wants you to steal her away from him."

So it's ON now. ;)

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THat girl u dreamed about, sounds like me;)

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Originally Posted by woh337

THat girl u dreamed about, sounds like me;)

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Hahaha... really? So what does your BF do then that your mom wants you to date me? ;) :D

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Originally Posted by huno

Hahaha... really? So what does your BF do then that your mom wants you to date me? ;) :D

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I am single... do u know that I am half latino?;)