I have been considering voluntary giving up my parental rights to my 7 year old son. It's not that I don't care about him or anything its just that the mother refuses to let me see him. That has been the case for about 4 years now. I've been in contact with her recently and had asked her if I could see him and she refused to. I now have a one year old son with my current girlfriend and would very much like for the two to meet. I have been to domestics and they gave me the run around about having to go some place else which in turn this legal service said they couldn't help me with that. I wish there was some way that I could get this resolved without going to court. The mother has flat out told me I would never be able to see my son until he was old enough to make the decision to see me on his own. Meanwhile the mother mentions nothing to him about his real father and this greatly upsets me. Somebody please let me know if there is something I can do?? :confused :confused:

You need to fight for your child, just giving up does not go anything for anyone. And if you fight to see the child and don't get to, when the child is older you can show that proof,

But go to court, they will make them allow your visitation, I have been talking about a close friend who has just gotten done with court, and now if on specific days the child is not available, they have to pay a fine to the court to force them to allow the dad to visit.

So tell he mom bull... and take them to court. First for your rights

See the problem with that is that I have been trying to see him for a long period. The mother keeps telling me that she doesn't want our son being hurt or confused about me visiting. She recently told me that our son knows nothing about me just that he has a different last name than his younger sister. I think it's going to hurt my son in many ways but I'm trying to make an effort for him to at least know me. Whether he decides to want to keep seeing me then that's up to him. His mother already told my girlfriend that my 7 yr old will have nothing to do with me, my girlfriend, or my 1 yr old. And that she is going to "milk out" this child support (which I have no problem with paying) by not having her fiancé adopt him when they get married but when she gets mad at me she always yells that they're going to let her fiancé adopt him. This is really draining my emotions and is starting to affect my girlfriend because of all the messages she is getting from my son's mother:(

Your ex's fiancé can not adopt your son without your consent. My ex husband went through this a few years ago. His ex refused to let him see his son and he did not know the law so he did not fight for him. A few years later when they were on speaking terms he consented for her new husband to adopt him. Now that the boy is 15 he is able to see him and spend time with him. But if you want to see your son, I suggest you get a lawyer and fight for him. He has a right to see you and you have a right to see him. I don't know your circumstances, but if your ex can not prove you to be unfit, she can not keep your son from you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

You have rights. Your son has rights. Going to court may be the only way to enforce those rights. Not going to court will only hurt your son worse in the long run. He will eventually know the truth and feel abandoned. You shouldn't feel guilty about your son finding out the truth about you... his mother is the one who has been lying to him. All you can do is try and ease the pain. His mother can say whatever she wants... she cannot stop you from having your son around your new family if visitation rights are enforced. If your paying child support through the state... you should be able to ask child support enforcement to help with your visitation rights. Of course, you may have to pay an attorney but in the long run you'll have done the right thing.

There are a lot of things left out here. You don't say whether you were married to the mother. You don't say whether the child support is court ordered or not. And you don't say whether a visitation agreement was ever made. You don't say WHY the mother has refused visitation. These are important and key facts.

As for relinquishing your rights you have already effectively done so, by not fighting the mother. There is no reason to formalize the process, especially if you want to be part of your son's life.

So what you need to do is go to Family Court and file a petition for visitation rights. Your rights have to be upheld and formalized by a court if the mother won't allow it. Once the court orders the visitation, if she does not allow it, she can be fined or jailed.

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Originally Posted by rwaltman25

I have been considering voluntary giving up my parental rights to my 7 year old son. it's not that i dont care about him or anything its just that the mother refuses to let me see him. that has been the case for about 4 years now. i've been in contact with her recently and had asked her if i could see him and she refused to. i now have a one year old son with my current girlfriend and would very much like for the two to meet. i have been to domestics and they gave me the run around about having to go some place else which in turn this legal service said they couldnt help me with that. i wish there was some way that i could get this resolved without going to court. the mother has flat out told me i would never be able to see my son until he was old enough to make the decision to see me on his own. meanwhile the mother mentions nothing to him about his real father and this greatly upsets me. somebody please let me know if there is something i can do????:confused :confused:

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Are you named as the child's father? Do you live in the same state as the child? If so you can go and pick your child up as long as he is not in her custody and is with a sitter or grandparent anyone but her you can get him. A friend of mine picked his 2 girls up and never returned them as long as there in his care when the mother comes to get them he don't have to give them back but if they were with his wife she would have to hand them over to her.

Although you don't want to, I'd go to court and get an order for visitation. Have you been proven to be the father? Once a court order is in place, it'll be harder for her to keep you from seeing your child.

I urge you to fight. MY fiance' just got through a situtation exactly like yours. HIs ex refused to let him see his daughter who is now 7. He pretty much wasn't in her life since she was 2 because of his ex. He finally started fighting to see her a couple years ago and we just finished court a month ago.

He has now been able to see his daughter every single week. Yes things are confusing for her because she had been told that another man was her daddy but she is adjusting well. She's in therapy and having her dad in her life is much better than letting her grow up and finding out about the dad she never knew. Now she knows who her real dad is. She still calls the other man daddy but she adores her "real daddy" just as much.

Don't give up on your son yet. I think you'll regret it. Take you ex to court and don't let her get away with this BS.

I know someone who gave up their rights. Now he regrets it and is having a horrible court battle trying to see their child again. Fight for him...

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Originally Posted by rwaltman25

I have been considering voluntary giving up my parental rights to my 7 year old son. it's not that i dont care about him or anything its just that the mother refuses to let me see him. that has been the case for about 4 years now. i've been in contact with her recently and had asked her if i could see him and she refused to. i now have a one year old son with my current girlfriend and would very much like for the two to meet. i have been to domestics and they gave me the run around about having to go some place else which in turn this legal service said they couldnt help me with that. i wish there was some way that i could get this resolved without going to court. the mother has flat out told me i would never be able to see my son until he was old enough to make the decision to see me on his own. meanwhile the mother mentions nothing to him about his real father and this greatly upsets me. somebody please let me know if there is something i can do????:confused :confused:

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You as the absent parent are not legally allowed to terminate your parental rights, that is the right of the custodial parent and you both must agree on it and a judge has to approve it. She may not want to let you do it unless a step parent wishes to adopt. You have every legal right to see your child as long as you are current on your support or paying on arears, you can take her to court for violating your parental rights and unless she can prove you are a threat or bad influence on your child, she has no grounds to keep you Away. You can file a judgment on your own in domestic court at your local court house yourself and although it may help to have an attourney, you can do it on your own with only court costs to pay. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by tamieko2

you as the absent parent are not legally allowed to terminate your parental rights, that is the right of the custodial parent and you both must agree on it and a judge has to approve it.

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Where do you get that from? The parent terminating their rights is the only one who can initiate the process. The custodial parent can't do it without the consent of the relinquishing parent and a court.

What is wrong with people? Im going threw the same thing at this very moment. Its very hard and frustrating. Its not as bad as you think. You have just as many rights as she does. Its up to you to use them though. Having to deal with a person like your ex is exhausting, believe me I know, the more you fight for your rights the more her grip over you will loosen. Go to the court and file. You don't even have to pay right away in some states. It will get the ball rolling and neither you or your ex can stop it. Only a judge stating what's best for the child. Please don't give up and do what's best for both of your kids. Keep good records of everything and buy a little recorder to record the truth. In some states its legal to record a conversation as long as at least 1 party agrees (that would be you). Please let me know how it goes. Good luck and God bless.

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Originally Posted by rwaltman25

I have been considering voluntary giving up my parental rights to my 7 year old son. it's not that i dont care about him or anything its just that the mother refuses to let me see him. that has been the case for about 4 years now. i've been in contact with her recently and had asked her if i could see him and she refused to. i now have a one year old son with my current girlfriend and would very much like for the two to meet. i have been to domestics and they gave me the run around about having to go some place else which in turn this legal service said they couldnt help me with that. i wish there was some way that i could get this resolved without going to court. the mother has flat out told me i would never be able to see my son until he was old enough to make the decision to see me on his own. meanwhile the mother mentions nothing to him about his real father and this greatly upsets me. somebody please let me know if there is something i can do????:confused :confused:

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I know it's frustrating when children are used as weapons but I've been through a very messy custody battle years ago and it was horrible but my kids knew that I loved them enough to fight for them. It would be easier to give up your rights and I'm sure tempting as you feel that you have no choice but think about how your son will feel when he is old enough to try to find you and then discovers that you willingly gave him up. The things worth fighting for are never easy. Get a good lawyer! My ex-husband gave us his rights to his daughter, she is now 24 and has some serious issues and a very strained relationship with him. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by TTLT03

I know it's frustrating when children are used as weapons but I've been through a very messy custody battle years ago and it was horrible but my kids knew that I loved them enough to fight for them. It would be easier to give up your rights and I'm sure tempting as you feel that you have no choice but think about how your son will feel when he is old enough to try to find you and then discovers that you willingly gave him up. The things worth fighting for are never easy. Get a good lawyer! My ex-husband gave us his rights to his daughter, she is now 24 and has some serious issues and a very strained relationship with him. Good luck!

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AMEN!!