Originally Posted by whatishethinking
I am married, but deeply in love with another man. I am 42 years old and I have known him for 30 years. He, my husband, and myself all went to high school together. I have always been attracted to him and we dated for several months when we were 20 years old. We were very attracted to one another and we were intimate with one another, but we never had sex. He was out of town for several years and that is when I started to date his friend who eventually became my husband. He moved back to the area and he also married. We both had children. The four of us were all friends and our children played together. He and his wife divorced. He, my husband, and I remained friends. He began dating a younger woman and an unplanned pregnancy was the result. Their relationship is terrible, but he and she are living together and raising their child. I have not been happy in my marriage for years, but have stayed for the children. He and I would talk to one another when things were difficult in our relationships. We have always been able to talk about anything with one another. We became involved in an emotional relationship and I fell in love with him and I had suspicions that he felt the same way. It was killing me not to tell him and apparently it was the same for him. We began to flirt. A couple of months ago, he told me that he loved me and that he was in love with me. I also confessed my feelings for him. We talked about how we thought about each other and longed for one another. We talked about our feelings and wondered what we were going to do with this mess. We both knew that what was happening was wrong because of our involvement with others, but felt too strongly about one another. He would say who knows what the future holds. There was a lot of sexual tension between the two of us but we knew if we took it any further things would never be the same. Just recently, the two of us were intimate, but just like 20 years ago, we did not have sex. Things have changed. We spoke the day after this happened and he said I told you that would make things weird. Then we spoke on the phone and he seemed distant. I phoned him several times and he did not return my calls. I stopped at his place the other evening when I knew his girlfriend was not there. He invited me in, but we did not discuss what had happened or what was happening with us. He told me his girlfriend did not want me to have any contact with him. I can't help but think he is using this as an excuse. I feel like he is shutting me out and this is killing me. I think I deserve some sort of explanation about what he is feeling or thinking and he is not giving me this. I thought of writing him a letter, but I threw it away. Am I wrong for wanting closure?
