I am a 20 year old female married to a 24 year old male and lately I have been bored in the bedroom. Don't get me wrong, it is WONDERFUL when we have sex, its just a little boring... a little... blah if you will. I am up to try almost anything, and we have tried anal sex and he seems to like that... but I don't enjoy it as much. Threesomes are out of the picture cause he says he would be jealous if I brought anouther guy in but it would be OK for anouther girl, accept I WILL NOT share my man with no other woman... cause he could catch feelings... we have 2 adorable kids, but they seem to be a bit of a problem as they like to interrupt a lot... well my son does anyway...

Not just that but anouther problem I have is that I enjoy giving him oral sex. I find it wonderful to know that I can make him happy and squirm and I could even... "finish him off" when I don't feel like "going at it". I have a very healthy sexual appitite and it seems to me that he doesn't like to please me like that. He knows I like to have oral done to me too and we have been together for almost 3 years yet I could count the times he has done it to me on 2 hands. Is there any way I could convince him to "treat" me more like I do him without sounding demanding or upset. Someone please help!:confused: :(

OK, I just started trying something with my boyfriend when I found that he was looking at porn. I decided to invite myself in. so now I can say things like "if you see something you like i'll try it and if i see something i like maybe you can try it on me." I don't know if that's something you would want to try or not, but it might help some.

well... personally I think him giving you oral first is a great idea... but I'm not him so I don't know exactly how to get him there. I know if I give oral to my partner she's going to be more wet, which in turns makes the sensations better for me... and that doesn't mean he needs to take you to climax... though that's not a bad way to go, eh?

a few position suggestions. I don't know what you favor... on top or bottom, slow, fast, hard, soft... so its just a few thoughts.

do you ever self stimulate during sex? Had one girl who loved strong cl!toral stim with fingers (hers or mine) while missionary... but she really liked strong stimulation. The next girl damn near smacked me upside the head when I tried this "killer move". Oh well. Live and learn. Anyway, if you do, don't be afraid to do it or ask for it. It was a little strange the first time my partner self stim while I was in her, but later I found it to be a turn on, as I knew she was getting close and I was probably going to satisfy her.

besides missionary, another position that can work with self stimulation is you bent over a sofa arm... if it's the right height and you two "match up"... my partner has long legs, so sometimes I'm damn near on my tip toes like a flippin ballerina... =) but again here, you can maybe reach under and self stim while he gets a better angle toward your g spot. Might be enough to push you over.

and another one that I favor is the guy laying on the bed. The girl on top of him, her back to him. Your rear against his unit. Ease him inside you (intercourse, not anal). He has to do some work here, rocking you up and down from head toward feet. The curve of your rear matches his front perfectly and the weight of your hips applies pressure nicely. He also has access you your neck, ears, breasts, waist, etc. just like other positions from behind, its great for a man because he can grab your chest, pull you to him and be inside you. If you angle a little to the side you can turn your neck hard and bite at or tongue his ear... do this near his climax to drive him over the top.

but this is about you... so while he's doing his thing you can self stimulate your breasts and your cl!t. if you like his hands at your neck you can ask for it. If you want him to go after your neck or ears with him mouth, same thing.

this was, and is still, my fav position if its all about me. My partner thought it was a bit awkward at first, but liked that it got me there. Then one day she decided to self stimulate her breasts and cl!t and she climaxed same time as me. Since then, id say she can get there one out of maybe four or five times this way... the only problems the other times is my not being able to hold back or her just wanting to satisfy me or not being there mentally.

as for oral, do you ask for what you want? I think I know my partner pretty damn well, but sometimes I can be doing "all the right things" that normally work and it gets her nowhere unless she asks for "more pressure" or "less pressure" or to "suck here"... I know its not sexy being a traffic cop in bed, but sometimes it helps and maybe he just needs a little direction.

and sometimes you might just want to ask for what you want. Make him say no. if he gives it to you, reward him. Quid pro quo... latin for "something for something" =)

if he doesn't seem to want to, even when you are being direct, then its time for a talk.

I have "pleasured" myself and I do get off... most of the time... and I do tell him what I want, Im not a soft spoken person, if I want it, I'll tell you. We have done it in the living room, over sofas and on, in the kitchen, bathroom and our room... no real excitement to me really... It just seems like the passion on his end is gone... like it's a chore for him, and I don't want it to be like that. He says that that's not how he feels but when you have been with a person for a while you know... you just do... know how they feel I mean. Its just... he knows I like having oral done to me... but he doesn't do it, and we had an argument the other night about that. I asked him if a person loves another then they would want to please them and he said yea and so then I asked him what the problem was and he just... fell asleep and when I asked him the next day he just changed the subject. I really do want my marriage to be more exciting and I need more tips... if anyone has any that is... We have tried almost every position and it doesn't seem to do anything for me... I want to try role playing but he said he isn't into it, and I know it would suck if I was and he weren't because it would just feel silly and awkward. I don't know what else to try.:mad: :confused: :(

How about suggesting a romantic weekend escapade? ;)

Try being direct and asking him... its possible he just isn't good at "reading" you. Now if that doesn't work then maybe he has other issues. I know I have no problems with most things my wife suggests... and she rarely has problems with things I suggest. And I am always more than willing to go down on her unless she really isn't in the mood for it and just feels like doing me which does happen at times. Personally we are always open and honest about what we want and when we want it with each other. That's key. Communication is everything.

So it isn't so much physical as mental here... you can get to climax, but you don't feel connected with him mentally. Even the oral thing is tied to mental, as a partner who gives orally is "giving" with full direction at pleasing the other partner.

I have a good marriage of over 7 years, relationship at about 9... one little child at home. Is sex better now than it was before marriage and the daily tasks of life? Not really. I know her better than I did in the beginning, but the spontaneity is largely not there, since a little one running around puts the breaks on that easily. And also I'm more of a late night person. I like to make out. She's a morning person and isn't as much into kissing and making out. So its easy to find excuses for things not to be right.

The suggestion to take a night away from the kids is good, if you can do it. We have a "big date" envelope that gets some cash each month. Basically when it hits $200 we arrange for kid care overnight and grab a hotel room. Nice dinner before. Its great. Relaxing. Even if we are just a few miles down the road. Just not being home can help you reconnect.

So I do think that you are struggling through some things that are normal... sex is exciting, in part, when first connecting because its new with that person. You are discovering them. After some time, well, it isn't new. You know what they look like, taste like, smell like, you know what to expect, and it takes away some of the mystery that boosts the drive at first. Add into that all the noise of life and its easy to be where you are. Even your frustration might be, in part, to doing the same things. You need things kicked up a notch to get there mentally.

So maybe the date night is worth a try. You need more than that... but it's a nice break to try every 2 months. And if you can't relax mentally, you know even the best attempts at sex probably won't work.

I agree role playing will be awkward if he isn't open to it.

When I get bored in the bedroom we role play. At first my husband wasn't into it, but when I became a naughty catholic school girl he changed his mind. Because he have a child we are always getting interupted also.. they are the sex police I swear. Also we have sexual play banter all day to get us in the mood. Like I will be in the kitchen and our son will be in the bedroom and my husband will come up from behind me and rub up against me and kiss my neck. Things like that..