Here we go. I was with a girl for 16 months. She broke up with me over a month ago. We had several issues that affected our relationship. About two months into the relationship she had cheated on me. She told me about the affair 5 months after it had happened. I was heart broken back then, but forgave her. Several months after the cheating, she had taken some of my pain meds that were prescribed for an injury, and wisdom teeth. I forgave her for that. This ultimately affected our sex life to a degree that we didn't always have a great sexual relationship.
Some other factors that we had was that I lived about an hour from her, and I worked all the time to pay for things for our anticipated future together. I busted my butt to build up the bank account and worked very hard for a future us, but I worked so much sometimes that I forgot about the present. We spent time together, but I was tired a lot, and we fought about that. We always had fought, and we always reconciled it. We both did a lot of talking.
Recently, back in Valentines weekend, we had fought again, and this time I was done with the relationship. I had enough of it, I was intending on it being over. She cried and begged me to stay, and refused to let me drive away. Eventually I did drive away, but I got back with her a few days later. We had planned on going to Florida and made reservations for March.
In the meantime her uncle had died in a fire, she came to my house that weekend , and we had a very nice weekend together. That following weekend was the scheduled funeral. Friday came around and there was an open shift at work, so I asked her about that, she had no problem with it. I came to her house at 4am that day from work, and left a nice very expensive bracelet on the counter with a note telling her that I loved her. That morning I woke up a few hours later, and woke up to her yelling at me and being in a very bad mood. I took this as stress from the death. I blew it off, on the way there she told me that the bracelet was "nice", it was the most expensive and best thing I had ever gotten for anyone. At the funeral she ignored me and didn't talk very much. I was offended and hurt. I went to work that same day after the funeral and talked to her the next afternoon. We got into an argument and she told me she didn't care if I came to her house that following week. We had made arrangement of spening about a week and a half together, she got a food order together, planned meals and we felt good about this. All of the sudden we had been arguing over stupid things, and being stubborn I told her I wasn't going to her house that week. There had been a lot of stress to begin with, her uncle died, her dad was drinking because of the death, and he is an alcoholic, the mother was getting on the father about the drinking, and the father was in turn going to leave the mother. On top of this, she had financial problems that were stressing her, and the clincher was the one day that I was supposed to be there was for her mothers birthday and I was to get a gift certificate. The night of the birthday party, I received a phone call from her telling me that it was over between us without any real reason other than she doesn't love me anymore and the thoughts of marriage we had planned were not really what she wanted. I was devastated and did not understand, so I did the classic mistakes of calling and trying to find out the problem and sending flowers. She had been really adamant about not talking to me and was hostile. I left things go for a few weeks, and called her about getting my belongings at her house. SHe was more pleasant and she explained in detail why she wouldn't be available to meet that weekend, instead of accepting this, I called her and told her that I was on my way to get my stuff. This only made her hostile I believe towards me. We got into a huge argument, then she told me to leave and not talk to her again. About 10 minutes later she called me to tell me that I was acting crazy, I told her I was only acting that way because she broke my heart. We talked for about a half hour an then ended the conversation. She was talking about eventually being friends. She has some very cherised items at my house and still has them there since the breakup. Initially she was going to get them about two weeks ago, but I haven't heard anything from her. We did communicate via email and text message once in a while after that. I haven't spoken to her in 3 weeks. Another huge mistake that I made was that I asked for the jewlrey back that I gave her. I got the bracelet and a necklace. I feel really bad about asking for it back, so I just mailed it back to her the other day. I sent a short little note, basically thanking her for meeting her, and wished her luck. I had intentions of making her wonder what I was doing. I want her to take a look at the whole picture to see if that is what she really wants to do. I just can't explain how she had changed in a few weeks. I don't think there is another guy involved at all. This issue to me is more of needs issue, I wasn't there to satisfy her needs of family commitment in her time of need. How do I show her that I made a mistake? I realize now that she is not here, how much I truly do love her. I am madly in love with her, but never let myself believe that. Ultimately she told me that I had too much of a guard up and that she didn't love me anymore. How do you go from passionately telling and crying to me that you love me so much, then 3 weeks later you don't and the relationship is over.
Could this be a case of too much stress at one time and she had to deal with it some way, and that way was to get rid of me? I understand some of my actions probably pushed her away more, but how can I get her back? I really truly think this can be worked out. I am hoping that by sending the jewellery back that is a start.
I am looking for advice on what do do next? I have read some of the articles from other that say not to call or anything like that, but I think the circumstances are different than my own. Is there a way that I should handle this to get her back?
