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-   -   I want to be with him but don't know if I should (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=84981)

  • Apr 21, 2007, 09:00 PM
    Titaiiztha1
    I want to be with him but don't know if I should
    There's this boy in my school that I met almost 4 months ago. When I first met him he was trying to get me number but I kept telling him no because at the time I had a boyfriend. Well he would still try to get my number but I'd always tell him no. he would always flirt with me but I would laugh it off. He would always tell me that he hopes my boyfriend would break my heart so that me and him could be together.
    It wasn't until a month later I kind of started to like him but I knew that it was wrong since I had a boyfriend who I had been with for 10 months... and I'm 14 and he is 16 [big age difference! ]
    Well I broke up with me boyfriend like a month and a half ago and this boy the boy that I like keeps asking me out and I like him and everything but I'm really nervous and scared that he'll get bored going out with me since I'm younger and I'm a virgin and he's not
    And plus he is the biggest flirt and I have been finding out stuff about him from friends in school and I think he's a player
    Then to top it all of, girls are talking about me in school because he's really cute and a lot of girls like him and their kind of jealous
    Man, I don't know if I should just forget him or give him a chance
    Advice pleaseeeeeeee!!
  • Apr 21, 2007, 10:50 PM
    kp2171
    Your instincts are probably right.

    It isn't wrong to be persistent. And sometimes a person will be "rewarded" by trying and trying and trying. That doesn't mean the person is bad.

    But you sound like you are not ready for the pressure of that relationship... the attention might be nice, but you know, especially since he's sexually active, that you are probably not ready yet.

    My advice is to enjoy that he pursues you, but don't act on it. You aren't ready for the pressure... and really there is NOTHING wrong with that at all.

    You are going to find that there are always people who will not take no for an answer. Again... that alone isn't a reason to make then out as bad. Confidence and persistence are admirable traits... but they don't alone warrant your giving in.

    Again... enjoy that he seems to see you worth chasing... its fun to be chased. But I think you know that he's a little to far ahead of you right now. There will be other boys later on. I promise. Be patient and true to yourself.
  • Apr 21, 2007, 11:39 PM
    kp2171
    Lets get one thing straight.

    Wanting sex isn't necessarily "bad intentions"... but when you aren't ready its not right for you and that's OK.

    We are so programmed to think sex is bad and then suddenly its not. Well, religious ideals aside, that's a little silly. It isn't that sex is bad, bad, bad and then suddenly becomes magically good.

    Its just that if you aren't ready, and you aren't, then its not right for you.

    I dated a girl from the time I was 16 (a virgin) until I was 23. We didn't have sex until we were both almost 20. She wasn't ready and I was willing to wait. Eventually we gave in, but it was actually nice to not have that pressure. Of course after, it was nice to have sex... but we were more willing to live with the consequences then too.

    So... I'm not trying to defend him at all... just don't think he is "bad" or out to hurt you... he's just in a different place mentally than you. You see that and you are smart enough to know it probably isn't healthy for you.

    That doesn't make you "behind him"... you are, in fact, probably smarter and more mature than others your age who give in to pressure just because the attention feels nice.

    Yes... attention is really nice. But that alone isn't enough.

    So enjoy the attention at a distance and be comfortable with where you are. You should be proud that you are willing to think this through and not just act on your emotions.
  • May 29, 2007, 09:02 PM
    vebee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Titaiiztha1
    there's this boy in my school that i met almost 4 months ago. when i first met him he was trying to get me number but i kept telling him no because at the time i had a boyfriend. well he would still try to get my number but i'd always tell him no. he would always flirt with me but i would laugh it off. he would always tell me that he hopes my boyfriend would break my heart so that me and him could be together.
    it wasnt until a month later i kind of started to like him but i knew that it was wrong since i had a boyfriend who i had been with for 10 months... and im 14 and he is 16 [big age difference!!]
    well i broke up with me boyfriend like a month and a half ago and this boy the boy that i like keeps asking me out and i like him and everything but im really nervous and scared that he'll get bored going out with me since im younger and im a virgin and he's not
    and plus he is the biggest flirt and i have been finding out stuff about him from friends in school and i think he's a player
    then to top it all of, girls are talking about me in school because he's really cute and alot of girls like him and their kinda jealous
    man, i dont know if i should just forget him or give him a chance
    advice pleaseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

    Hi.
    I know what your going through rit now.He is cute,he is a flirt and so many girls are jelous about u.This make you feel like a queen.I understand.Now you enjoy all the attention but later you will regret.What if he leaves after sometime when you have really started liking him.Flirts can never make a good partner you know.If he finds someone else beautiful then u.He will leave and go behind that girl.Its difficult get true love these days.So b careful.

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