I am engaged to a man on probation. He was given discretionary time and we have been issued a verbal no contact order by the PO because we attempted to start dating before we had his approval. His PO told us that if he was to have a clean lie detector test that he would allow us to set up a meeting in an attempt to get approval for our relationship. So after the clean lie detector we called him almost every day for 5 and a half months to try to set up a meeting and we never received any response from his PO. During this time we got engaged and attempted arranged to have a court date to request our marriage and ask them to allow us to move back to our home town where both of our family's live. Also at 5.5 mo we began to lose hope of getting things resolved and began to see each other again. We had our court date at 6 mo which is where the real drama began. Our lawyer failed to review our case properly and allowed the PO to lie 3 times on the stand when we had proof to prove him wrong. Also the attorney left out key factors about how we had been attempting to get a hold of the po and how he had blatantly ignored our requests for a meeting and how we had tried to go through proper procedure to have a relationship but with our having communication with the PO that it was impossible. The judge took the PO's side and said that we were not to get married at this time and that we were to take marriage counseling classes and the attorney never brought up the fact that we were not even allowed to see each other. Now I am not sure which way to go from here. I feel as though we need to go back to court with an attorney that is willing to study the case but I fear that the judge will just feel hassled if we try to go in there again. Any suggestions?

You left out A lot of information here. For instance - what were the actual circumstances that you two were not to see each other? What happened? Why would someone issue a no contact order? Why would someone need to grant permission for you two to date? What is the real deal?

I would say there has to be a GOOD reason for them to give you and him a no contact order. This does not happen without some good cause.
So I would say one should look at those reason, This is being done to protect one of you.

There has to be more to it than that. As to why there is a no contact order. By the way, if your boy friend is on probation, shouldn't he be meeting his PO weekly?

He hasn't been able to contact his PO since the no contact order was placed. The reason he has to be granted permission for us to date is because he is on sex offender probation . Also right before we started dating he did mushrooms but that has been over 9 mo ago now. There really was no more reason to it then that. We even had approval from his councelor that he works with stating that not only does he condone our relationship but he supports it 110% and feels that it is something that would be good for both of us. And as far as I can tell his PO is just mad at us for not telling him that we were having a sexual relationship. It has nothing to do with my side of things. I have no record, I've never done drugs, I don't drink, I go to school and work as a developemental therapist. To make matters worse last night I found out that I'm pregnant. Im guessing only by a few weeks. We were planning on having kids right after we were married but with us not being able to see each other this is a big problem. Not really sure what kind of outcome this is going to have on things.

I think that you might want to stop and take a good hard look at this situation. He is a sex offender. What kind of offense did he get convicted of? And even more importantly, what did he actually do? I know that there are some people out there tagged as sex offenders for having consensual sex, but there are some out there who aren't. If he's got caught sexually molesting children, think a whole lot longer before you decide to marry him, and even longer before you decide to let him around the baby. You are choosing to spend your life with someone who is probably never going to be fully accepted by society, and that's going to have an impact on you and your kids. And no, love doesn't solve everything.

You sure have a mess there, but you must have known what in the world you were doing when you were sleeping with him, and the risks. I do not have much sympathy here - he violated terms of his parole. Just because you two had the support of his counselor, does not mean much in the eyes of the law. You should know that, being a developmental therapist. Your record, or lack of, does not come into play. His does. His record, his actions, and his current activities.

I agree with the posters before me. You need to take a good look at the situation from out side the box. Right now your emotions not to mention hormones are running high. I appreciate that you feel alone and scared. But think about it. No matter what the sex offense he was convicted of, no judge will allow him anywhere near a child even especially his own. If in fact you were allowed to get married, the child could be removed for it's own protection.
You need to decide who is more important, your child or fiancé. If you don't choose right, the courts might.

I don't believe that will be the situation because he is allowed to be around his niece and nephew.

With or without supervision?

You should get an attorney... You have certain civil rights related to marriage that may have been violated...

I still have a weird feeling that someone isn't telling you the whole story. People convicted of sexual offenses are not allowed contact with children. Supervised or not. I honestly think that if you do get married, your child will be put in foster care. I agree with angel. You need to talk to someone and get it straight. I honestly think your fiancée isn't telling you the truth and painting himself as a victim in this matter. As for him not seeing his PO I don't believe that for a moment. Being on probation for sexual offenses he needs to be reporting weekly for spot checks.
I have a feeling that because you love him you might be in a little bit of denial of what he's done and he's been treated unfairly. I also think he's telling you a story. These guys often do. Anyway, in your heart of hearts could you trust your child alone with a convicted sex offender. I'm pretty sure if one day you get to gether, the child will be taken out. For my money, the baby needs to come first.
How would you react one day if your child told you that Daddy touched me and hurt me. Who would you believe your child or your husband?

If you say he would never do that to his own child, you're gambling with a child's life that you're first priority is to protect.
Sexual preditors know the walk and the talk. Its prefected and that's how they get their victims.

There are still several important issues you haven't identified.

How old are you?
How old is he?
How long has he been out of prison?
How long was he in prison?
What exactly was he convicted of?
How exactly did you meet and wa your relationship prior to his conviction or after his conviction?
Was sexual abuse of YOU part of the issue?
Why did he not go in person to his probation officer to discuss releasing the "no-contact" order? For over five months, why did he never go in person? I have a son-in-law who is a probation officer for major crimes. Sexual offenders are in that category. He said he doesn't return calls from felons. They are expected to report to him in person. He will speak to them on the phone if he happens to be there, but will make ABSOLUTELY NO CHANGES in the probationers status or requirements over the phone because it is then a "he said/she said" conflict.

Either he is lying to you, or you are in denial. If you have been sneaking together enough to get pregnant, then you could have sneak over to the next county and eloped. But be prepared for him to go straight back to jail when his PO finds out you are pregnant. And be prepared to have your child taken away at birth.

I am dating a sex offender and also 4 months pregnant with his child.. His PO has never said anything to us about dating or having the baby. Sure he won't be aloud around his child unsupervised or without prior approval from the judge.. I don't understand why you guys aren't aloud to see each other? Weird I think..