Ask Me Help Desk - Goal to get this woman to love me

Okay I have set a goal for the next month and a half left in the school year. I want this girl I know to like me. I want her to love me. I know the rules and I understand that if I don't achieve the goal I shouldn't get upset and should move on.

Anyway I started last Monday when I IM her on msn and joked around on how she never says hi to me in school anymore. We do know even other but it seemed that we were drifting away for the past year or so. So we talked on msn and the next day she said hi enthusiastically. It made me quite happy that we finally are noticing each other.

Yet now the problem starts where I kind of get shy when I want to just start a conversation with each other. It seems after she said hi to me, we always say hi to each other when we see each other. Nothing else! I always think about walking up to her or sitting beside her at lunch to just talk to her but I just can't do it. It's either I don't know what to say at that moment and situation or the fact that I know what to say but just too shy to say it. I always hurt myself with thoughts of why I didn't just sit beside her. I try to think the positives but I gained the habit with the negatives. I guess I kind of get scared when I see her talking to her friends who I don't even know. I also sometimes sit somewhere and act like I don't see her when she passes by.

Boy! I need some help. I try not to be needy but I want her so bad. I visual scenerios like talking to her at night after nightschool. I had that chance once but blew it with nervousness.

I was thinking about asking her number on msn and calling her. Is it a good idea and easier way to talk to her after not even talking to her as much at school?

Anyway I appreciate any tips Thanks

Oh wow, do you have problems.

First, You should not make it a goal to get somebody to love you. Love does not work that way.

Two, Sounds very needy and maybe people can pick up on that from you. If they sense it, they will keep away.

Third, Just be yourself and let things happen the way they are supposed to. If you force something, which is exactly what you are talking about doing your going to fall flat on your butt or face and it will be worse.

Fourth, You need hobbie, and you need to focus on something else that is not a girl and is something that you can do to improve on your mind, and other things.

Fifth, Leave the girl alone. You do not want her real bad, your obsessed about someone that you do not even know. This is something that is fantasy.

Sixth, Eighter talk to her for real and let her know you like her. If she does not then that is the end of it. It is just a crush and you need to find out eighter way whether she likes you or not.

Seventh, I do not know what else to say. Why do you think your so needy? Girls hate that kind of behaviour and if you do not learn how to deal with it or learn to stop behaving that way, you will never have anybody.

Joe

If your trying to get someone's attention, you need to swallow that fear and just go sit with her in public. Electronic communication has got the ball started, but you need to follow up in person. She may be as nervous as you are, so just do it.

So Am I being less needy to her by showing that I don't really want to talk to her even though I do. I have seen guys jumping right into her and talking then soon she wouldn't care if she sees him or not. Yet I keep thinking that she is slowly not caring about me after the constant hi's w/o conversation for the past couple of days

Ask her out and see what she says.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gem07

Ask her out and see what she says.

Isn't that kind of sudden seeing that I don't talk to her as much at school when we been in the same school for like couple of years now.

The problem with me is that I get one chance each day to talk to her and that's like after 2:00pm because she has class and I have class before that. So if I miss that chance then it gets difficult to talk to her. I see computer chatting such as msn being the easy were in to her showing that I have no courage to talk to her up front with my own voice. I keep thinking of asking her number but I don't know if it's a good idea.

Dude, I'm going to do this for you. After a five minutes of mindless conversaton on MSN have this conversation...

Smith: I've really got a sweet tooth today.
Her: What for (or something else it really doesn't matter what she says)
Smith: I'm craving ice cream. I love ice cream!
Her: I love ice cream (and if she doesn't she's not worth your time because no woman that doesn't love ice cream is worth going after).
Smith: My favorite favorite flavor is Cappicino Chocolate Chip by Blue Bell.
Her: I like Carmel Chocalate ( I have no clue what she'll like).
Smith: Baskin Robbins (use your local ice cream place) has bubble gum ice cream and I really love that because then you have gum to chew after your done.
Her: Yeah I like that too (or I hate that, it really doesn't matter)

Wait about 2 minutes.

Smith: I can't stand it anymore, I'm craving some ice cream so bad, I'm going to (your local ice cream place) to get me a bubble gum waffle cone. Are you coming? If so I'm buying!

There you go. It's something small like ice cream, no big financial commitment, and it puts you two at a place where you can just sit down and joke around with no pressure. You'll seem like a good guy because you gave her some ice cream and you didn't pressure her or yourself for that matter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Dude, I'm going to do this for you. After a five minutes of mindless conversaton on MSN have this conversation....

Smith: I've really got a sweet tooth today.
Her: What for (or something else it really doesn't matter what she says)
Smith: I'm craving ice cream. I love ice cream!
Her: I love ice cream (and if she doesn't she's not worth your time because no woman that doesn't love ice cream is worth going after).
Smith: My favorite favorite flavor is Cappicino Chocolate Chip by Blue Bell.
Her: I like Carmel Chocalate ( I have no clue what she'll like).
Smith: Baskin Robbins (use your local ice cream place) has bubble gum ice cream and I really love that because then you have gum to chew after your done.
Her: Yeah I like that too (or I hate that, it really doesn't matter)

Wait about 2 minutes.

Smith: I can't stand it anymore, I'm craving some ice cream so bad, I'm going to (your local ice cream place) to get me a bubble gum waffle cone. Are you coming? If so I'm buying!

There you go. It's something small like ice cream, no big financial commitment, and it puts you two at a place where you can just sit down and joke around with no pressure. You'll seem like a good guy because you gave her some ice cream and you didn't pressure her or yourself for that matter.

LOL! Thank man. That could work. I'd like more of your msn conversation examples ;) haha