Hello All-

I was invited to an old friends "destination" bachelor party in Costa Rica. He was my roommate from 04-06 and we were close. After he meet his now fiancé, he moved out and shunned most of his friends for her. The wedding is in August and I was not invited. He snubbed several of our mutual friends who she does not like but invited others that he barely knows. He will not discuss this with me and states "we could not invite everyone"... although they did invite many of her random friends. Should I even go to the bachelor party, it is a lot of money for me??

Nope he sounds like he wants a bunch of people at the party to make it fun but doesn't think you much of a friend because no invite to the wedding. If he is no willing to invite you to the wedding I wouldn't go to the party. It is bad manners on his part to invite you to one but not the other.

Nope. I cannot see a good reason for you to go to this. If it was in the same city where you live, you could consider it. But that is a good deal of money to shell out for a party. If he does not think enough of his friends to invite them to the wedding, I cannot see why he thinks they should show up for the bachelor party. Bad form on the part of your friend.

If you have the money and want to go to a great party, heck why not, but do it for the chance to party there.

It would appear his wife is in charge of the wedding plans, and he is just letting her do it.

But only go if you want to party, not from obligations you may have as a friend.

It sounds like you are pretty hurt and I'd say that if he did not invite you to the wedding, will not even respect your feelings enough to discuss the matter with you... save the money and skip the trip. Instead, plan something fun with the woman in your life, or a bunch of guys you currently hang out with.

I would not go. Bride should not dictate which of his friends can attend the wedding. If he doesn't have the guts to stand up for you to her, then I sure wouldn't go out of my way to go to his party.
Seems like if she doesn't like his friends, that she should be more concerned about him partying with them in Costa Rica than them just attending the wedding. You can get in a lot more trouble at a bachelor party than a wedding. Not only is she bossy, she is not very bright!

I'm in this same dilemma myself but from the opposite perspective. I'm trying to decide whether I can get away with inviting people to the bachelor party and not invite them to the wedding. I guess most people here thing that's a no-no. But let me provide some justification for his actions based on my situation: I know I'm facing this dilemma because I want to invite many more people to the wedding than my fiancée does. But it's only fair that the numbers are balanced at the wedding. Otherwise it will seem like her family and friends have barely any presence at the wedding. It doesn't mean she's bossy or that he doesn't respect you. Planning a wedding is hard, so I think you should cut him some slack.

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Originally Posted by sarmui

I'm in this same dilemma myself but from the opposite perspective. I'm trying to decide whether I can get away with inviting people to the bachelor party and not invite them to the wedding. I guess most people here thing that's a no-no. But let me provide some justification for his actions based on my situation: I know I'm facing this dilemma because I want to invite many more people to the wedding than my fiancee does. But it's only fair that the numbers are balanced at the wedding. Otherwise it will seem like her family and friends have barely any presence at the wedding. It doesn't mean she's bossy or that he doesn't respect you. Planning a wedding is hard, so I think you should cut him some slack.

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I hope delibel's friend had a lovely wedding and hasn't divorced yet.

sarmui, you can get away with having a bunch of friends for the party if you explain that seating is limited at the wedding, but they're welcome to the party.

The general etiquette is that if you are not invited to the wedding, you should not be asked to attend any of the pre-wedding events such as showers, engagement parties or bachelor parties. As the groom said to you, they can't invite everyone. That means they can't expect free drinks, costly out of town visits or wedding gifts from everyone, either. It is very rude for them to even invite you, actually.

I use a site <a href="http://www.events-x.com/"> www.events-x.com </a>. It very simply and clearly.
Create the guest list, choose an invitation card, send invitation by Email

I use a site <a href="http://www.events-x.com/"> ????? ????? ???????,??? ?????? ????"?, ????? ?????? ???? ??? ???? </a>. It very simply and clearly.
Create the guest list, choose an invitation card, send invitation by Email

I use a site ????? ????? ???????,??? ?????? ????"?, ????? ?????? ???? ??? ???? . It very simply and clearly.
Create the guest list, choose an invitation card, send invitation by Email