I've been hanging out with this guy that I used to date about 3 weeks ago for about a month. At my 18th birthday 3 weeks ago, he got drunk and madeout with two of my friends and didn't understand why I was so upset. Also when he was drunk, he would push me into walls, refridgeraters, counters and would yell at me in front of my friends. He blamed it on the alcohol and didn't really apologize to me for it. I told him about a particular friend that I had, that I didn't really feel comfortable with him hanging out with because she is a flirt and would screw him right away because she's kind of a slut. Well he didn't listen and now they're dating.. and he knew it was the one thing that would hurt me the most. He calls me everyday and says how much he wants to be with me now. Yesterday he told me he loves me and wants to break up with his girlfriend. He also got drunk yesterday and was grabbing my arms and holding me down trying to have sex with me. I said no and then the issue started again about 10 minutes later. I really like this guy but I don't know what to do, I'm so confused.. do I let him go, or stick with it?

RUN - LIKE - THE - WIND!

Seriously, why would you bother with someone who is a drunk, violence and tries to force sex with you? He doesn't sound like he's worth one iota of your time!

Tell him to leave you alone and to direct his affection towards his girlfriend!

You will find someone better than this, someone who treats you a million times better!

RUN RUN RUN FAR FAR AWAY!

There isn't anything wrong with enjoying a few drinks, but not if u can't handle it, such as this guy!

Babes you got to let him go. He knows that u like him and he will take the piss out of you... he already has by going with all of your mates. He is a player and you don't need an arsehole like that. And don't let the alcohol take the blame, he knows what he's doing!
Good luck sweet. We can't let them mess us around, there is a nice guy out there who will worship the ground you walk on. Enjoy yourself and that 'guy' will find you

Speaking froma blokes point of view, I don't understand why you gave him a chance after the first time he pushed u? Let alone that after he tried to have sex with you when you were saying no that your even THINKING about giving him another chance, and imsure that that comes under some kind of rape law doesn't it? if you go back to him you've only got yourself to blame for his future actions and its sounds like it will only get worst sorry

Get away from this guy and stay away from him. Forever! You have listed enough reasons to ring every warning bell in a woman's head when it comes to self protection and self respect. This guy has no respect for you and he certainly is not looking out for your own protection.

Sweetie, please read this:

- he got drunk and made out with two of your friends
- he didn't understand why you were so upset
- he pushed you into walls, refrigerators and counters
- he yelled at you in front of your friends
- he blamed his behaviour on alcohol
- he didn't apologize for: a) getting drunk when he was with you; b) pushing you around; or c) yelling at you in front of your friends
- he is dating the one person who you told him you didn't feel comfortable with him being with
- he is dating someone who is 'kind of a slut'
- dating this person is the one thing he knew would hurt you the most
- he is dating someone while telling you that he wants to be with you
- he told you he loves you yet he has a girlfriend
- he got drunk AGAIN and was trying to force sex upon you

Hmmmmmmmmm... and you "really like" him??

Hun, you need to dump the guy, dump the "friend" he's dating, stop hanging about with such pond scum, get some counselling to figure out why you would allow yourself to be attracted to people like this and start focusing on more important things in life... LIKE YOU!!

You have a lot of growing up and figuring out to do. In the meantime, maybe you should make a list of what you REALLY want in a man and every time you are tempted to be with a bad boy, read that list and see how many of those qualities he has before even thinking about a date!

Love is respectful, caring, sharing, kind. It is not rude, ignorant, violent, disrespectful, or intentionally hurtful. When a man loves a woman he cherishes her, makes her feel like the most important person in the world, and never, NEVER makes excuses for his mistakes.

It sounds like you have not been treated well for a long time. It's at this point in your life where you have to realize that NOBODY will treat you the way you should be treated until you look after yourself.

Love, Didi

All of the above answers are spot on - please listen to them as you are worth so much more!

So I wrote about a week ago about a guy that would get drunk and push me around a bit and try to force sex on me when he was drunk. We settled things down and now I’m just really confused. While we were dating, I told him about a particular friend that I had that is a slut and I didn’t feel comfortable that he be in real contact with. Well, at my 18 birthday party, he got drunk and made out with her and now their dating. Well a few days ago he told me he loves me….but also loves the slut. I don’t really feel that I should be caught up in this stupid game of his whatsoever. He told my friend Courtney that he doesn’t know who to choose. I don’t want to be ‘chosen.’ I feel that I’m better than that. He wants to go my senior prom with me and I kind a want him to as well. I think we would have a lot of fun together. I know that I should let him go but it’s just so damn hard. Should I go for this one last night with him, or just cut things off now?:confused:

Curly, you surely are kidding right? Do you really want to go with this abusive nutjob? You know, he might just get drunk before prom and ruin the whole night for you in front of your whole school. Is that what you want?

This loser is an addict and an abuser. You are very lucky so far. He has not killed you. But, he still has the chance, if you give it to him. Afterward he will only say it was because of the alcohol, he is sorry. But your parents won't hear that because they will be mourning your loss.

Get away from this loser, he should already be in jail for what he has done to you.

He kicks your butt, and is a drunk, and your confused about leaving, and you love him? Get him out of your life whatever it takes, and then seek professional help to guide you through the process of empowering yourself to not be a victim. This kind of treatment that you have accepted is not okay.

Sweetie, in addition to my previous post (which I think you should read every time you feel weak!), I have to say that if he doesn't know who to chose then he's not worth it anyway. My gosh, girl!! He made out with this girl at your 18th BIRTHDAY PARTY!? What an insensitive jerk!

You're right - you ARE better than that! If this guy has to chose between you and a 'slut' and can't make a decision... sigh... what does that do to your own feelings about yourself? Cut things off totally and completely FOREVER! You don't owe this guy a thing, and, honestly, hun... do you REALLY think you love someone who has done all these things to you?

If this guy tells someone who comes to you and says he can't make up his mind, your response should be: "HE can't make up his mind??? What does he have to make his mind up about? I wouldn't go to the prom with him anyways! We are done. He is an abusive, immature guy who doesn't respect me. Why would I go anywhere with him?"

The best thing that you can do for you (and for him, actually) is to permanently end this relationship. Please look after yourself.

Love, Didi

All I can say is why would anyone want a jerk like this,

Move on, honestly the homeless guy on the corner would have to be a better catch than this drunken abuser.

Girl Ur Too Damn Young To Be Going Through This S**t... jus Wish Him An The Slut A Good And Happy Life In Hell... move On!!

Like I've said before leave him and never look back, or stay with him at you perill. Also do many of your friends know about this? because if my friend was getting treated like this by somebody they cared about I would kick their in a heart-beat! remember love 'if a guy treats a girl like this then he isn't worth the time of day'. Things like this make me wonder though- how can a guy like this who treats you so bad have you so smitten, but a guy like me who's 'a good guy' and wouldn't even think about such awful things be alone? The world isn't fair :confused:

Well... he's in jail now... funny how it all turned out lol :)

I love you

I can help you

Hey,

From a guys point of view its absolutely forbidden to hit a girl let alone force yourself upon them. Now alcohol affects your actions considerably but he will know he needs to cut back on the drink, he's obviously not willing to do that to keep a friendship with you. I hit a girl when I was 12, the next day I went up to her and said, I'm sorry for hitting you, it was not the right thing to do, feel free to take a swing at me. At 12 I knew better than this guy who's (im guessing) 18.

Furthermore, he's dating the person you least want him to be with (and knows it) and wants a quick . He'll know you like him and he's gone out of his way to hurt you ON YOUR BIRTHDAY! This guy is kind of showing psychopathic behavior, he wants self gratification at your expense. Don't let this guy bog you down, you can do better than a want to be rapist and inconsiderate prick.

Oh, and avoid him at parties. If the guy doesn't cut back on his drink, one day he'll go all the way. Make sure you have someone soba at a party who can moderate or intervene if something happens.

Hope this helps,
Louis.

EDIT: I posted this then realised there were more pages. :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by curlycheer

he got drunk and madeout with two of my friends and didn't understand why i was so upset.

Also when he was drunk, he would push me into walls, refridgeraters, counters and would yell at me in front of my friends.

He blamed it on the alcohol and didn't really apologize to me for it.

I told him about a particular friend that i had, that i didn't really feel comfortable with him hanging out with because she is a flirt and would screw him right away because she's kind of a slut. well he didn't listen and now they're dating

..and he knew it was the one thing that would hurt me the most.

he calls me everyday and says how much he wants to be with me now. Yesterday he told me he loves me and wants to break up with his girlfriend. He also got drunk yesterday and was grabbing my arms and holding me down trying to have sex with me. I said no and then the issue started again about 10 minutes later. i really like this guy but i dont know what to do, im so confused..do i let him go, or stick with it?

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Where is what you love so much about him? I sure don't see it in here!
You say he didn't listen... sure he DID listen... you told him she is a slut and he ran right for it. That alone should tell you where his loyalty, values and all lie. It certainly is not with you. He got his free ride with 'the slut' and sees there is no future in it so he wants to go back with the tried and true relationship... until something else comes along that is up for grabs. How many times do you see yourself going through this with him before you realize it is not love (at least not on his part)? Find love that is a more solid foundation.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by curlycheer

So I wrote about a week ago about a guy that would get drunk and push me around a bit and try to force sex on me when he was drunk. We settled things down and now I’m just really confused. While we were dating, I told him about a particular friend that I had that is a slut and I didn’t feel comfortable that he be in real contact with. Well, at my 18 birthday party, he got drunk and made out with her and now their dating. Well a few days ago he told me he loves me….but also loves the slut. I don’t really feel that I should be caught up in this stupid game of his whatsoever. He told my friend Courtney that he doesn’t know who to choose. I don’t want to be ‘chosen.’ I feel that I’m better than that. He wants to go my senior prom with me and I kind a want him to as well. I think we would have a lot of fun together. I know that I should let him go but it’s just so damn hard. Should I go for this one last night with him, or just cut things off now?:confused:

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First of all, you found out the kind of guy he was when u warned him about a woman who gives it up so freely, you basically made it easy for him to make his way over to her, yuck what a scum.Never talk to a man about another woman, it makes you like the insecure one and the other woman like the secure oene. Do not take this alcoholic abuser back, u will regret wasting your life with him.What if u have his child? You think he will then stop drinking and stop pushing or hitting you by that point? Your baby will suffer, and he may start to trun on the kid, run like hell save yourself a lifetime of heart ache, it will hurt for a minute now, but that is a small sacrifice to prevent a lifetime of hell.