Should GFs Past Bother Me?
1st I probably should watch what I ask for, because in this case I got it.
My last GF wasn't a strong, confident woman... she wasn't sexually experienced either, which may have caused this (I was her 2nd and she was 25 at the time)... great girl, great values, family, etc, just very body conscious and she had absolutely no reason to be...
Fast Fwd a couple of years... I meet a great girl. She's gorgeous, shares my sense of humor, and is extremely confident to the point she's cocky... "no man can tame me" was often implicated and occasionally said... We meet and hit it off. Begin dating. There's immediate chemistry - we share the same sense of humor and have a blast with each other. We are crazy about each other. She's a beautiful, strong, indepentdent woman that I have a lot of respect for in that regard, however, she's almost "too independent" to the point she is harsh In month 2 she said "we have sex - we dont make love" "dont get too clingy" "women shold be able to have sex with whomever they want. 'slut' is such a bull word"... stuff like this was a problem for me. It still is. I wish I could physically cut those memories out of my brain.
Its not like I have a long list of her past sexual experiences (if I had to guess, she's in the 15-20 range), it just the things she says that gives me pause... [is she just putting up a cocky front? Does she really feel this way? Is she so sexually liberated and/or scarred that this is her coping mechanism?] If she wasn't someone special, I wouldn't care as much and probably wouldn't be here now, but we are talking the potential mother of my children, so its kind of a big deal. Whenever I jokingly tell her that what she said bothered me back then, she usually responds with "i really said that? wow I was a real b!tch"... couple that with the fact she lost her viginity to date rape.
My real question is how do I learn to handle what I do know (and what I have a good idea about) when it comes to her past ... anyone else feel 'my pain' ... ? Someone please sort all of this out 4 me ...